You know I've never really gone out to score friends. I've gone out to score make-outs and sometimes to score teh sex0r, but, not friends. I definitely need to do this because ... okay so I've been busting my ass to pass my last final at college, and I did that, and have my B.A. in computer science up and coming (yay!!). After those five weeks with my head up my ass, studying and depriving myself of any freedoms aside from spending recuperative & celebratory sex/romance time with my amazing and beautiful lover, I come up for air and have FREE TIME all of a sudden. Which allows me to realize that I have NO friends in NY. NONE. My friends from college are away. I do actually have one friend in NYC, but she is constantly traveling - she's here about 1 day of the week. Now, I've never really gone friend hunting. I've just sort of been friends with people and I think I got used to this because that's how it has always worked for me, probably, in large part, because that's how it works when you're still in school. I realized how lonely I was (I don't want to put a companionship "role" on my lover... I want to bring value to people, in general), and I was kinda having that o shit, o shit, I don't have the Awesome Power of Friendship that such-and-such person has, how will I get through this. Then I realized that I'm still living at my dad's house, I haven't even moved out to my new apartment yet, haven't settled into my new neighborhood, and I'm allowed to have difficulty making friends out here in my senile alcoholic father's flat, since it will be 10x easier when I move to my new neighborhood, which will be populated with largely young people like myself. In the meantime I feel so loooonely. Which is something that I need to address, and maybe spending every weekend traveling or being traveled to (traveling, in the case of these next few weeks) so Emily (my lover) and I can see each other is not the best way to address that. But at the same time, I don't feel like I should contrived-ly not-see Emily on the weekends just to prove to myself that I'm doing something. I'll just wait it out these next three weeks until I have my place and my people around me. Thanks for listening to this rant-ramble.