SRS weird sex dreams

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, Oct 8, 2005.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I started seeing a woman I've known for years. I am very attracted to her, but "playing it cool" because she just ended a 5 year relationship. I've been painfully single 4 years.

    Last night I had a couple dreams about her having sex with other people. It was like she had already cheated on me, and we haven't even began a monagamous relationship. Today, for atleast 2 hours now, I've been obsessing how there is no way I can be with a woman because of these thoughts.

    How do you deal with this. I have been alone for so long, I need to try a relationship again, but this girl is so beautiful and desireous, that I can't imagine her wanting to be with me. I don't want to stop it before it starts, but these thoughts and emotions are not healthy, and I would rather living with a consistant bad mood, rather than live this roller coaster I've lived again for a week, just because of one good date with a girl.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    If girls wanted to be with guys for the looks, then guys would have looked prettier then girls therefore don't worry so much , if you have what she wants then she will want to be with you. You also have to accept her in your life yourself and give yourself this possiblity. If you can show your love and effection and swallow up your emotions then i would go and ask her out. :wavey:

    The flags are green here, i would definitly go for it. Just do it , you have NO you might get YES.
     
  3. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Thats not the issue, we slept together last week, and I'm in the best shape of my life, and actually look kinda good. I'm on this emotional roller coaster though, and all I can think about is how undesireous my life is right now, and I don't see how she could want to be a part of it.

    I really don't understand the sex dream I just had though.
     
  4. AO

    AO New Member

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    Your dream is probably one of contrary. Since she cheated on you in your dreams it means that she will be faithful.

    Your problem is that you are becoming possessive even before attaining her love. It is you who is lusting, are already jealous, who are clingy, who is already making demands.

    For her to love you, you must first love yourself. But you already are bringing emotional baggage into the relationship, you are bringing insecurities. Your clinging, jealousy, lack of trust and lack of faith is bound to destroy the relationship. Because she is so beautiful you already consider yourself ugly. You don't love yourself and you expect others to love you. That may never work because your love is conditional.

    Take a vacation, go hiking in the mountains, watch the stars and listen to the birds, trees and wind. Look deep within yourself and give her a reason to love you. You are too serious when you should be laughing and dancing.
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Thanks a bunch. I have a really hard time with relationships, considering I've been cheated on in every one, and both parents have been married 6 times each. Honestly, I've never seen anything good come out of a relationship, from anyone, ever.
     
  6. kitty

    kitty Uppity ass cat OT Supporter

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    I feel dreams are a a link to our subconscious, so I've studied them for years:hs: . Sounds like your subconscious is expressing it's fear. Now, Freud believed that since it's one's subconscious dreaming, each character in the dream is a part of that person. So while you have been cheated on, it's 50/50. There is a part of you that subconsciously is attracted to these type women or you yourself manipulate the situation. Being cheated on allows you to be the "victim". Perhaps a learned behavior due to your parents behavior. Don't allow your parents dysfunctional behavior to control you. Deal with your own fears so you subconsciously don't ruin your chances at a healthy relationship. You have every right to be happy, healthly and loved.

    If I've overstepped, I apologize. :hs:
     
  7. LancerV

    LancerV Something Happened OT Supporter

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    Anymore details on the dream? IE: Places, type of people settings, animals, enviroment?
     
  8. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    not really
     
  9. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    you didn't, thanks for the advice.
     
  10. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    You deal with it by getting the fuck over it. The dream was expressing a fear. Work on dealing with that fear.
     

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