SRS Weird feelings lately about life

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Raj, Oct 12, 2009.

  1. Raj

    Raj who fucking cares

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    I am a recent college graduate just in may, and I feel very very fortunate to have a job given the current economy and many of my other friends not having jobs.

    I am lucky enough to have also began dating the most amazing person in the world shortly after graduation. She is a few years older than me(22 and she is 25) and she has a 5 year old son. Regardless of that I love her and she loves me, maybe quick after just 5-6 months but when its right, that's all that matters.

    Due to distances between us, about 35 minutes we see each other once during the week, but then usually spend much of the weekend together.

    So with this backstory of how fortunate I have it right now, I have to wonder why on certain days I have no desire to do anything but curl up in a ball and cry. I feel hopeless at work, not excited to be here because it is not my future career. As soon as another job came available I would leave. Other days I feel fine at work and am excited to work and talk to people. Being in telesales, it is important that I am in a positive mood to speak with my book of 200 clients.

    The thing is there are only three people in the world that I could truly tell how I feel and have them care: my mom, my dad, and my girlfriend. There is no clear direction to this post, there is only the feeling of typing this all out at work making me feel 1000 times better. I will prolly continue adding to this post as my feelings continue to develop and change, but I do have a few questions:

    1) Is it normal to feel like it really sucks, that after spending 2.5 days with someone and having fun, and then having to go back to work, knowing it will be days before you see them again?

    2) How many people hate their jobs at least once a week?
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    People in their teens often have depression, i would almost say its normal. Life throws so many things at you, its normal to be effected by it,because most people experience a lot of nasty things, this negativity is reacted onto other people, it wouldn't be so suprising if this negativity reaches you therefore and influences your mood. My advice is to keep going for gold in your life and settle down. Most of us feel restless tho because they have a feeling that there's always a party going out there that they are missing, while in reality that is not the case, and in even more cases things look better then they actually are, its that moment that you start cherishing what you have, but its also a good thing to always keep improving your own situation in order to prevent your life from becoming stagnant. Life is like water, it needs to keep flowing. So from now to then do new things. A millionaire said to me, life is just like a bus ride, if you feel your not going to the place that you want to go, get off and wait for the next chance to get on a bus that takes you to a place that you do want to goto. In this you eventually reach your goals.

    You see, work pretty much always sucks, its more like choosing from the big fires to get burned from that suck less, and are less hot. But as said before the grass always looks greener at the other side , but while looking you leave your own grass unattended to become brown and rotting, this is why you need to take care and attend your own grass first before you can take care of others.

    Everyone has bad days, i generally enjoy work, but i also experience at least 3 times a month a scream inside of myself saying 'i want to go home' or 'i don't want to do this anymore' , its fairly normal.
     
  3. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I hate my job too, but I recognize that it is just a stepping stone on my way to the career I want, and I am comfortable with that. As long as I am always doing something to actively work towards my goal, I feel okay.

    It always makes me feel better to hear about how some of the most successful people worked some crap jobs until they became what they are today.
     
  4. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I feel the same way. I'm not in a career I'd like to stay in but I also can't seem to find a girl I want to be with. And I don't really like the city I'm living in now anyway.
     
  5. Raj

    Raj who fucking cares

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    Well I really feel lucky that I am with a girl that I know I want to spend the rest of my life with. Its great because she feels the same way
     
  6. erynne936

    erynne936 my av is a car, but i'm a girl. stop calling me b OT Supporter

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    I think you sound depressed and/or you just really don't like your job. I think many people hate their jobs at least once a week, especially if they are not in their chosen career or don't feel very invested in or excited about their job. I know I did at my last job, and it was a toxic environment to work in, emotionally - very poor management, fear of layoffs all the time, etc. But I was scared to leave due to not being able to find anything at the same $$, especially in this economy. However, I think that is great that you are in a good relationship that you are happy in. What about during the week after work - do you have friends to hang out with? Hobbies? Exercise? Something to make your week a little better until you see your gf again?
     
  7. Raj

    Raj who fucking cares

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    Yep i usually keep myself fairly busy during the week with going to the gym, just lounging around or hanging out with my roomates/coworkers...it truthfully just takes a day for the feeling of getting used to seeing someone everyday and then having them gone to leave. It sucks because of the distance between us, it is nearly impossible for us to meet for lunch during the week or even just see each other for an hour.

    then before bed on almost every night my girlfriend and I will talk for 20-30 minutes, sometimes even more depending on if anything exciting happened in either of our days, or if we start one of the those long conversations
     
  8. Sirian

    Sirian New Member

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    Yeah Long Distance Relationships can be hard that way. When you only get to see each other one or two days per week, you start to get excited about those few days and build them up to be what you look forward to all week long. This leads to the mindset where you start to not care about the rest of the week because all you are looking forward to is seeing her again. The important part is to not forsake the other 5 days per week just because you aren't seeing her. If you don't make an effort to maintain having fun and doing stuff when you aren't seeing her it could lead to some bad problems.

    First if you don't maintain your own life during the week, you will start to become more and more dependent on her to make you happy on the weekend and its a self repeating cycle that will just get worse and worse and make you feel bad. This could start to lead to dependency issues if she becomes your only source of happiness during the week. You have to keep yourself busy and happy without her during the week to not become overly dependent on her for happiness, that will never lead to a happy life.

    Next, only seeing each other once a week leads to expectations about sex, going out, etc. You will start to think that you all have to do everything together when you do get together on the weekends. If you have let your individual life die out and become totally dependent on her to make you happy, its going to start suffocating her if she isn't feeling the exact same way. What is going to happen if she wants to do something with some of her other friends without you during a weekend when you are in town? It's going to lead to fights and resentment if you have lost your individual self and depend too much on her.

    Sure a lot of these problems wouldn't be there if you all lived in the same city where you could see each other casually during the week, but alas you don't have that luxury right now so you have to work hard at maintaining this LDR.

    So what to do? KEEP YOURSELF BUSY DOING THINGS YOU ENJOY. You have at least 5 days per week you aren't going to be seeing her right now. You can't just settle into being ok being miserable when you aren't with her because then you have completely lost yourself and are 100% dependent on her. No girl is ever going to want a guy to be 100% dependent on her for their happiness. You need to work on being happy with yourself before you can be happy in a good relationship. If you truly work on this, you will find out that you can be happy without her and when you get to see her on the weekends you will appreciate her even more, but will have the confidence to know that you will be ok during the week when you all aren't together.
     
  9. Raj

    Raj who fucking cares

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    These are very good points and i do keep that balance. I goto concerts with my friends, goto the bar to watch games, goto the gym, goto movies...I have plenty of fun during the week. There have been times where for whatever reason we do not get to see each other both friday and saturday night and I never have a problem going out with my friends or anything like that. I have a very big group of friends, and have had a relationship in a past where i sacrificed those friendships. I am not willing to do that again.

    It definently does make it easier that we both like our respective sets of friends too.
     
  10. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    You're lucky to have someone like that. :)
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I think much of your current anguish is normal given your situation, esp. with regard to your current work.

    If I were you, I would make efforts to begin embarking on a real career. One that will provide you with self-respect, a measure of prestige and security.

    Coincidentally, careers of this sort are typically well paying, and that will really be of enormous help to you when you want to start a family and buy a house.

    I'm not looking down on your situation at all, just that I really doubt anyone can be very happy doing telemarketing for a living.

    Secondly, as you make steps to move to a real career, be it an apprenticeship, additional training, or more schooling, you can also begin the process of weaving your life more closely together with this woman.

    But...career first. I.e. YOURSELF. Then wife. Then family. In that order.

    I'm not saying you have to delay or sacrifice personal relationships in favour of a hectic career. Just that you should start down the road of something more substantial than telemarketing. For yourself.

    As my wise friend opined, you don't have to already BE successful, you just need some solid plans to better yourself.
     
  12. Raj

    Raj who fucking cares

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    There already are very clear plans in place for where I will be in 2-3 years career wise. What I am doing right now is gaining experience on my own before I go and join my family in business. There were expectations in place after graduation that I would need 2-3 years outside of that job before I would be brought in.

    So in reality it is just a matter of gaining work/sales experience until I move into the career for the rest of my life. It is a career that I'm very excited for, know that I will have to work hard, but also know that in the long run will pay off very well financially.
     
  13. Raj

    Raj who fucking cares

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    Oh and it is important to note that I'm not a telemarketer. I just do inside sales, I am more of a wholesaler. I do have a nice base and make decent commission for someone 5 months out of college.
     
  14. PcH

    PcH Guest

    Trust me, you're not abnormal. I'm in a similar place in life you are right now. 24, graduated college last year. Grateful to have a job. Broke up with a serious girlfriend and girls just come and go ever since. What helps a lot is what people here have said. Keeping busy with the things you enjoy. Recently though I've been bored still :hs:
     

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