Wedding- Should I Invite my cold -hearted,unsupportive parents?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Nikolette, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. Nikolette

    Nikolette New Member

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    Since I can remember, my parents have put me through a roller-coaster.Being abusive in every which way...physical, mental, emotional.

    My mother is remarried and I used to get along with the guy,even call him Dad,but he has become a passive,reserved participator in my mother's ruthless and manipulative actions.

    I have recieved no support from them or any offers for the wedding (financially).He never even called to congratulate us.or ever called me once to see how I am doing in life.

    My mother has only cared for claiming me as a dependent on taxes to make money from it,even though I have not lived home in almost a year and more than support myself with my own living (i'm 24 years old).

    Thing is, my real father is estranged.He used to abuse me and I don't remember everything because my mother has told me many stories which I wouldn't be surprised are lies.

    Every convo I have with my mother brings me to tears.:wtc:

    How do I decide to not invite them?Do I walk myself down the aisle?Do I just suck it up? :ugh:
     
  2. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    Your wedding day should be something you enjoy. If you wouldn't enjoy walking down the aisle with your dad or stepdad then don't! Plenty of people have romantic, small, weddings with no parents, and they enjoyed it more than they would have if they had invited their parents :).
     
  3. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Word. There's no rule or law stating that you have to respect the relationship you have with your parents.

    It sounds like you had a rough time dealing with your parents and step-dad. There's nothing wrong at all with not inviting them. That day is all about you so you do what makes you happy and have no second thoughts about it.

    I've never been married and don't know that much about wedding etiquette, but are you close with any of your grandparents where you could have your grandfather walk you down the aisle? Also, would it be out of line to ask your future father-in-law to walk you down?

    Congrats on the wedding, btw. You're going to love it. :)
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    send them invites to the ceremony, but omit the reception. do not offer them a place in the party.


    plan on them coming to the reception anyways, but if shit hits the fan, you can back out.
     
  5. althepirate

    althepirate Talk nerdy to me.

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    It's perfectly fine to let them know that they're invited, but that you don't plan on having them involved in the wedding party in any way.

    You can have an uncle, a grandfather, or even your best male friend give you away. Whoever is male and is closest to you in the platonic sense is the perfect man for the job [and you'll be much happier for it :)]
     
  6. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    You are not responsible for the way others choose to live, even if it happens to be a life of ignorance. They have their own path and they are responsible for their own choices.

    If I were you, I would "NOT" invite them.

    Like other have said, your wedding day is about YOU and your LOVE.
    Bringing them into the mix would only cause you unneeded stress and grief, think about that.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's up to you? Do you want to invite them to be there? Obviously I think making them a part of the ceremony is a definite no, but if you invite them to the wedding as regular guests will it stress you out?

    If so, then don't invite them. It's supposed to be your day. A day that is usually filled with stress anywho but that's usually over once the reception starts. Honestly, if I had to think about it I wouldn't invite them, but that's me :dunno:
     
  8. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    I agree with everyone else....

    Don't invite them, you will be stressed enough and you shouldn't have your wedding ruined by crappy people. Ask a male you are close to... your best guy friend or even your hubby's grandpa.
     
  9. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    If they're that horrible and you don't want a relationship with them and never will, don't invite them. My only thing is that 10 yrs from now, you're goign to wish you had invited them.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Not necessarily.
     
  11. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    if the only reason you are thinking of inviting them is for the sake of tradition - don't do it.
     
  12. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    thats a dumb thing to say. She says every time she talks to her mother it makes her cry. you think if she does invite her and her mother makes her feel aweful on her wedding day that she won't remember that for the rest of her life and wish she hadn't invited her?
     
  13. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    my brother recently went to a wedding where the bride walked down the aisle alone. he said it didnt look weird at all, and she was much happier doing it alone than she would have been walking down with her dad who she doesnt get along with very well.

    or like everyone else has said, another close male family member or friend.

    if you do end up inviting your parents, have a friend there to take care of things if they start to be rude or cause a scene. the friend can just get them out of there quickly without distracting you from the rest of your day.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: I would have no problem walking down the aisle alone without my father. Then again I've never been way into traditional ceremony's :hsdunno:

    And honestly, if you had to have a friend distract the parents from making your day any worse you should just not invite them.
     
  15. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    Have someone else walk down the aisle with you. Maybe someone who has been very influential throughout your life, or someone who has actually been supportive. If you've not had someone like that, then walk yourself down the aisle. Hell, if you have the biggest wedding of the year and walk yourself down the aisle I'd respect that being a patron of the wedding. You do what you want to do, dont invite them if you dont want them there. Dont feel obligated to invited anyone you dont want to, regardless of their relationship with you. Its your husband to be and your day, make it how you want it.
     
  16. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    absolutely, positively have someone there who you have talked to in advance about your parent and have them ready to take action. If your parents start making a scene, make sure that person or group of people is willling to boot them.
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Think about that though...why even invite people if a scene being caused is a possibility?
     
  18. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    you are totally right, i guess i just know that if this was me in the situation, i would still invite my parents, with the hope that they would be the perfect parents that day that i had always hoped they could be. wishful thinking? probably. but i have a hard time not putting myself out there. i want to know i made every effort possible to have a good relationship with them and if it doesnt work out, its on them, not me.

    if she can not invite them and not feel guilty about it, i think thats the way to go. i would just feel guilty about not inviting and would use the friend to boot them if they caused a scene
     
  19. mavfan1

    mavfan1 Active Member

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    my parents flat out refused to go to my wedding. i paid for their flights and hotel to hawaii. we really haven't talked in the last 2-3 years. i had a great time and yes it sucks that they are retarded, but i will never regret any of it. i offered, they refused. i did my part.

    so yes, not necessarily is right.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No I understand what you are saying. I personally can't imagine my parents not being invited, but I guess you just have to remember you are not the OP and don't have her parents or her situation.

    Sorry to hear that. Maybe for the 2nd wedding? :x: :mamoru:
     
  21. Fucker

    Fucker out of the fast lane, bitches

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    No, have a good time instead. After all you only get married 2 or 3 times.
     
  22. just tat

    just tat New Member

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    if it were me, they'd be off the guest list. the only reason i would invite my parents is cause i know neither of them would show up. both would give really lame excuses, but all in all it would be a better day without them.
    you want any tears on your wedding day to be tears of joy. you don't want to be crying because you spoke to your mom, and she's making you unhappy.
     
  23. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  24. 1house3kids0vette

    1house3kids0vette Member

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    IMO you do not want them there. Wedding days are stressful enough without the added trauma of them there.
    Go with a non-traditional setting(park, the beach) and then it won't be so noticeable that they aren't involved.
    Good Luck
     
  25. NaturalLight16oz

    NaturalLight16oz Only The Best For Me!! OT Supporter

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