SRS Watched my step-father die on saturday.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Jeebus, Jun 12, 2007.

  1. Jeebus

    Jeebus Well-Known Member

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    I go to medical school in New York, my family lives in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. My girlfriend and I fly down to go for a vacation and to celebrate my birthday. We landed on the 2nd of June, fast forward to the morning of June 9th:

    My girlfriend and I are fast asleep, when i hear my mother screaming and slamming against the door of our bedroom, screaming incoherently. I leap out of bed, put on some shorts and run out. I lock my hands onto her shoulders and yell at her to tell me exactly what was going on. She tells me my step-dad is having a stroke. I waste no time in sprinting to the master bedroom. The sight is branded into my head, I saw my step dad laying on the bed, his legs hanging limply off the side, his arms sprawled unnaturally against his chest, with his tongue protruding slightly out of his mouth. I immediately run to him and check his pulse, it was negligible. He was probably already in ventricular tachycardia. Fluid was already settling into his lungs so i beat against his chest to try to force some out.

    Here is the oddest part, the clearest memory i have is this. I happened to glance at the floor, the master bedroom is floored with beautiful marble tile, and serenely raining down upon it is clear fluid, which caught the sunlight and illuminated each drop as it hit the growing puddle. I followed the scrubs up to see the wet spot at the front of his scrubs (he was a doctor) expanding.

    Afterwards i put him on the floor, and my girlfriend who is certified by the Red Cross to give CPR, applied it to him. Under five minutes later the EMTs were there, but i knew he was already gone.

    Im not sure how to feel, i almost feel ashamed for feeling so disconnected with the situation. During that day, i was the only person who didnt cry.
     
  2. tb2883

    tb2883 New Member

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    It is very normal to be confused after something like this. My brother also died in our home, no less that 10 feet away from my room. I was so disconnected from what was going on that it seems like i blacked out because i hardly remember his funeral. I also was the one there that didn't cry.

    We all accept death and greave different ways, it isn't nothing to feel ashamed of.

    Sorry for your loss.
     
  3. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    I agree completely. Everyone deals with things differently!

    Sorry for your loss!

    Prays to the family!
     
  4. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    :hug: That's awful. don't be too hard on yourself, I know it's cliched but it really does sound like there's nothing you could have done.

    :hug: best wishes to your family
     
  5. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    .

    :hug:

    Sorry for your loss.
     
  6. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Hey man I'm not judging you or saying you are me, but I show similar loss patterns as you if that is a word. My aunt died three weekends ago and even though my mother went into the ER that day for intensive surgery that decided her life, I still don't really feel loss for my Aunt. Personally I feel that when I die I don't want people to stand around being sad about my decaying body pushing its last beats I want them to be happy that I've lived a damn good life. I dont want others to goto a church and moan for hours I want them to remember the good times about me or they had with me and the more they will have with other people. Life isn't about being sad it's about being happy. As my father has told me, he wants me to ensure that his funeral isn't a "sob fest" and if it is then it is too big and there needs to be less people. Basically We all look and deal with life differently. I'm very logical and scientific so it's just the time when the body can't operate anymore. Sometimes disease takes it or what not, but thats how the world works. Not sure where this is going, but good luck man sounds like you have a solid family to help you get through this. :hug:
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like you did everything within your power to help.

    I am curious about this part because I have had similiar experiences:

    It's like sometimes under times of extreme stress the mind becomes more focused (obviously), but sometimes that focus gets locked onto something completely unrelated to the situation at hand. I wonder if it's a defense mechanism, or if it's just a byproduct of your brain operating at ~100%.
     
  8. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    My condolences to you and your family.
     
  9. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    sorry to hear this dude :hs: that really sucks
     
  10. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    :hug: I'm so so sorry for your loss :hug:

    Prayers for you and your family

    Godspeed :hug:
     
  11. wufei

    wufei New Member

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    :hs: :hug: sorry for your loss, we all deal with these types of situations in the ways that we can. you did in everything in your power to help him.
     
  12. RuskeR

    RuskeR ReksuR

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    sorry for your loss.
     

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