watched my friend cheat

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by yankeeschick14, Oct 19, 2008.

  1. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    I watched one of my closest guy friends cheat on his girlfriend tonight, a girl I was extremely close with for about the same amount of time as I've been friends with her. I've been friends with the two of them since before they were together, and they got together about a year and a half ago. Well, they became completely addicted to each other, and spent EVERY moment of every day together: had all the same classes, slept together every night, ate all their meals together, etc. well she finally couldn't take it anymore, and decided she wanted a life of her own so she transferred to a big university and joined a sorority. I guess he's feeling left behind because she has this whole new life that he's not a part of, and he feels like she's changing so much. she also told him that she didn't want to have sex any more before they're married (there are no plans to get married). *edit* she's VERY religious and has always regretted that she's not going to be a virgin when she gets married. She hasn't been out to visit him once yet (she lives 3 hours away and has a lot of stuff going on with the sorority), and she expects him to come home every other weekend to see her. When he goes home, she wants him to take her out, buy her stuff, etc, and gets upset when he doesn't meet all her expectations.

    Well I guess he's been feeling pretty low because I saw him last night: he was very drunk and complaining to me about how he just needed to have sex and how much he misses her. I took him home and put him to bed so he wouldn't do anything stupid because the writing was on the wall. Tonight I walked into a party, and there he was in the front entrance talking with a girl. He didn't see me, but while I stood there and watched, he leaned in and stuck his tongue down this girls throat. Twice. I grabbed him by the arm and took him out of there, telling him we needed to talk. Next hour was spent with him crying in my arms on the grass in the backyard about what a terrible person he is.

    I told him I was disappointed in him, but that a LDR isn't easy and he's only human. I also told him I wasnt going to tell her, although I would want someone to tell me if my boyfriend cheated on me. I told him not to tell her, either, because its not going to make anything better. Its just a kiss, its the first time its happened, and cheating is just the physical manifestation of a greater problem that needs to be worked out. Now its tearing me up inside. What would you have done in this situation?

    Sorry for the rambling, I've had a few.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2008
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Can you fucking blame him though? :rofl: Seriously, his girlfriend is being a cunt.

    As his friend, you should tell him to break up with her.

    Granted, I don't condone cheating in any situation, and he is wrong for cheating on his girlfriend.

    As Chris Rock would say, though, "I ain't sayin' what he did was RIGHT, I'm just sayin' that I understand."
     
  3. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Viper said everything that needs to be said. The girl is being a fucking cunt. If she didn't like how serious the relationship was she should have just cut it off instead of expecting him to adapt to an entirely different style of relationship.
     
  4. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    sounds like his gf caught herpies and doesn't want him to find out until he is tied down to her.


    he should gtfo of that relationship stat.



    and you are an idiot for telling him to just keep the secret. Obviously he wants out of that relationship and this other chick has at least one foot out as well. Why on earth would you be trying to keep them together
     
  5. RollinDollos

    RollinDollos Guest

    So its ok for his girlfriend to be in a sorority where she is exposed to tons of different guys and she is probably fucking them with her sisters urging her to "forget about her boyfriend for one weekend"?

    To say no more sex in a relationship is just a nice way of saying "its over but I expect you to be back waiting for me with a bouquet of flowers while I go away for a little while to try new things, bye".

    Shes playing your friend big time and hes the bad person? Hes just an idiot that doesn't realize it and your helping him buy into what shes doing.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I don't condone cheating, but from your description of events, it sounds like the guy's gf unofficially dumped him. I'd advise the guy to call her up and say something like "you've made your intentions clear, we're done".
     
  7. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    She is cheating on him and using him. Any decent girlfriend will come visit you, have sex with you, and not expect you to buy her flashy toys. It honestly sounds like she is just using him for his money and emotional support.
     
  8. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I don't condone what the dude did, but seriously, the bitch caused the situation to happen.
     
  9. fray

    fray New Member

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    huge . to this.

    She caused it. Not that it's right, but she changed the relationship, she cut him off both sexually and emotionally. It's sad that he wasn't strong enough/too invested to break up, but what exactly did she expect?

    You shouldn't chastise him. You should help him to break up with her if anything at all. Try not to let your feelings about LDR get in the way. Their situation is not like yours. It obviously is not working out for him, and this cheating is not the problem, it's just a symptom.
     
  10. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I feel like the roles have been reversed. Isn't the guy supposed to be the one who gets sick of the same thing every day? Man I would have given him the thumbs up. He needs to break up with this girl who's just stringing him along. It's totally unfair. I've done the 3 hour thing and tbh it wasn't a big deal for me, but that was when we were having the most sex. If she doesn't miss him enough to want sex then she's not that into him anymore. He needs to realize what a nutjob she is and that he has other options. I don't think it would've been cheating because it doesn't sound like there's really a relationship anymore...they're just friends now.
     
  11. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i don't understand why people stay together when their relationship is like this. i mean really, can there possibly be any more signs that they should end it??
     
  12. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    yeah, I know. I just hope they see it now too. I know they did love each other at one time but I think they've both moved on and changed so much that there's nothing left.
    this is exactly what I told him, in almost the exact same words. I did tell him to break up with her, or otherwise work through his problems with her, before he continues seeing other people because it just isn't right. I really wasn't telling him in any way to stay with her, but I was telling him I know its hard and I just don't think theyre going to be able to make it work right now. Maybe later they could get back together, but its pretty clear to me that she's out looking for other experiences (not necessarily sexual, because I don't believe she's cheating, but I do believe she's moved on emotionally).
    He's not a bad person, and I kept telling him that last night. He's only human and humans have urges that they need to satisfy in some way; this is one of them, and I feel that he was pretty much driven to it. I told him its not entirely his fault because she also contributed to his behavior. I'm NOT helping him buy into what she's doing, but I may not have clearly explained that last night.

    oh right, and I said I wouldn't tell her what he did because I think its important that he talk to her. I don't want to be in the middle of this, and I don't think its my place to be. I know him and I know he wont be able to not tell her because it will eat him up inside, but I was encouraging him last night to just break up with her and not talk about the kiss, because there's no reason to basically scar her with the idea of being cheated on when the relationship's pretty much over already.
     
  13. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I think he SHOULD tell her about the kiss. If it were a normal situation where she wasn't doing anything to him, then I'd agree. But her actions toward him have been blatantly shitty. She deserves to hear the consequences of those actions.

    And I wouldn't be surprised if his telling her didn't flesh out a "Hey, I cheated on you too."
     
  14. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    She's incredibly religious, I highly doubt she cheated. She told him about the no sex thing before she started school, so it doesn't have to do with her being with anyone else because that was when they were home and together.

    Objectively, I think a part of me just wants to protect her. I'm really bad to be involved in this.
     
  15. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Holy shit, that's a pretty huge detail to leave out of the first post. :rofl:
     
  16. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    good call, editing first post. yes, she regretted having sex every time she did it throughout the entire course of their relationship.
     
  17. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    i always push my friends to cheat if i see their boyfriend/girlfriend is awful.
     
  18. fray

    fray New Member

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    :ugh:
     
  19. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    she's not trying to get him to cheat with her though...
     
  20. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    i was jk. but you only live once. no one is keeping score. he should have dumped her when she first mentioned transferring.
     
  21. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    Fuck that bitch, she had it coming. It wouldn't even surprise me if she was running some fraternity cock on the side. If your buddy decides to stay in that relationship (god forbid) and NOT tell her he cheated, i bet he will crack from the guilt and confess sooner or later. She will take that much harder than him telling her today.
     
  22. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  23. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    she's NOT cheating. She's so religious that she doesn't want to have sex again until she's married. She's Greek Orthodox.
     
  24. Brian May

    Brian May New Member

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    that doesn't mean shit.

    my cousins are greek orthodox and fuck anything with a vagina and pulse
     
  25. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    Don't be naive. She's already had sex with him what's to say she wouldn't do it again with someone else?
     

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