Was I in the wrong for breaking it off?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 98TsiAWD, May 15, 2005.

  1. 98TsiAWD

    98TsiAWD New Member

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    Ill try to make this as short as possible and to the point.

    Basically Ive been dating a girl for almost 4 years now. Her last 3 years of high school and now the first year of college. The plan always was that she was gonna move in with me out of high school, but I told her many times she didnt have to, to only do it if she was ready to. I didnt want her to miss out on the experience of living on your own and hate me for it later on.
    Well when it came down to it she did move out on her own, not wiht me. And it really kinda hurt, actually. But I moved past it and knew it was for the best that way. But now she has been on her own for about a year and still no word or thought of moving in together.
    I feel that the relationship is pretty much goign nowhere. Im almost 23 now and am thinking its about time to get serious and maybe get engaged, have some kids in a year or so. And I just dont think she wants that.

    Now onto what pushed me over the edge of breaking it off. Bascially the last couple months I dont think we've spend any alone time together other than sleeping at each others houses once in a while. Used to be every night almost.
    The reasoning behind that is that she always goes and hangs otu with a particular friend of hers (female) while I am at work or am busy with something, which is fine and great. But then say I get off work at 4 and am busy til 5:30 or so with stuff, I give her a call and I basically end up with one of two options everytime.
    1. go over to her house so that we can go over to her friends house (same friend)
    2. she is at teh friends house, come over there.

    Now that would be find if it wasnt ALL THE TIME. I can only take so much of this friend, like maybe everyother day or every 3 days is enough for me, its nothign personal, its just that I dont really like to hang out with teh same peopel day after day. The only person Ive really found that I can stand to be around everyday was the g/f, but now I broke it off.
    I basically told her if thats the only 2 options I have to every see her, I dotn want to be in a relationship like that. A couple NEEDS to have alone time, and not just in the bedroom sleeping.

    I really love this girl and really did want to marry her and move away somewehre together, but I just dont know if its gonna work. Im pretty much last priority on her list. Ill admit she isnt always my first priority, but I dont chose my friends over her day after day after day.

    So basically I either want to be with her and make things right and have a good relationship, wait for her to graduate college and get married, move to a different town, get settled in and then have kids. Or the other thing woudl be to save up some money as fast as I can and move out of this town on my own.

    What do you guys think I should do?
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2005
  2. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    break up with her. the same thing happened with my ex... except that friend was a "friend" of mine that i no longer talk to who kept trying to get into her pants. we broke up, now she spends practically every waking moment with him. according to her they are not dating or fucking, but i dont know what to believe.
     
  3. Yukonart

    Yukonart Active Member

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    You have balls, and you did the right thing. Not only that, but you're still young, man. . . take your time settling down.

    Her having the time to have lived on her own is something she needed, and you shouldn't feel bad that she went and did that. If she's got commitment issues, better that you found out about them now rather than a year or two from now where a divorce and child support could have really thrown a wrench into your life. She may just not be ready to settle down now, and her being social shouldn't bother you. Now if she's been doing "other things" with this friend (you never mentioned their gender) then I'd say leave her dumped.
     
  4. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    i think if she's putting friends over you consistently, and doesn't make you some kind of priority in her life... then you were right for breaking up. see if she comes around to realizing she's being childish, if she doesn't... you'll be better off without her.
     
  5. 98TsiAWD

    98TsiAWD New Member

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    Whoa, wait a minute tho guys. This friend Im talking about is a girl, lol. So Its definately not that I think she was messing around, its just that Im 2nd to her always.
     
  6. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    doesnt really make a difference. she is putting her before you. in a serious relationship, in my opinion, the so should ALWAYS come before anything else. the only expection being family.
     
  7. Yukonart

    Yukonart Active Member

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    Ah, very helpful (albeit late) information. :big grin:

    Indeed, she's placing you behind her friends. She's not ready for a serious relationship with you.
     
  8. 98TsiAWD

    98TsiAWD New Member

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    Very true, I am somewhat guilty as well tho. I tend to put some stuff ahead of her, like getting things done on my vehicles and such. But I dont put my friends or other people ahead of her. I have actually fell into ignoring alot of my friends phone calls all the time so that I dont have to worry about them wanting to hang out, because I want her to come first. Maybe I was wrong in doign that as she didnt do the same, and it probly hurt my friends feelings also.
     
  9. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    i ended up ditching all my friends while i was dating her. i lsot touch with all of them except the 3 that ended up choosing her as friends over me when we broke up. now it is kind of awkward trying to hang out with the ones i stopped hanging out with. i never put anything in front of her, and she returned it by putting everything in front of me :hs:
     
  10. cunninglinguist

    cunninglinguist RAEPERQUICKING

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    your problem is that youre 23 and youve never really experienced what the opposite sex has to offer, other than this girl.

    break it off with her and dont have the mindset that you need to be in a relationship or have kids in x number of years. Just get out there, have fun and meet people. When the right girl comes along, you both will know. Until then, dont sweat the details.
     
  11. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    oh christ wheres the cliffs
     

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