Waiting is the worst fucking part ever!!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MIK3, Jan 31, 2008.

  1. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    sorry this is more of a rant

    i'll keep it short if i can. i've been with my g/f for about 7months now and when i say things were perfect, i mean perfect. talk about Vday came up and she got weird. i knew something was wrong, and didn't push the issue to much. finally Tuesday night she opens up a little and admits Vday's in the past have been brutal for her. ok understandable.

    she then proceeds to tell me she needs "space" for now. after some mental breakdown on my part, she comes out and says she's not used to the good treatment i give her, and i seem a little over-baring sometimes with everyday things (i.e. phonecalls) ok fine.

    I know she is busy with school, 2 jobs, and the mental anguish of this holiday coming up. i'm in the same boat with work, now going back to school at nights, and looking to buy a house.

    she wants to spend superbowl sunday with me, and still spend valentine's day with me, but this gray area of not knowing whats going on her head and no communication right now is KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    sorry for the long post, any advice to keep my mind focused would be a huge help!
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Mental anguish over Valentine's Day? :rofl: Unless her mother and father died on V-Day in the last few years I'm willing to bet it's just a load of bullshit over past douchebag boyfriends who never did anything for her, amirite?

    I'm also going to take a guess that you are clingy and it's bugging her, seeing as how even in her very busy schedule she thinks she needs even more space from you....that's not very good buddy. Why dont you give her that space and give it a few days before she complains that you aren't paying attention to her.
     
  3. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    i never asked for an explanation on what the past BS has been about. so i couldn't tell ya about the Vday drama. but yea, i would put my money on past DB boyfriends upsetting her :o

    and to be honest i wouldn't think of myself as clingy cause i'm just as busy as she is. now her definition of clingy may be different than mine, but i'm respecting her decision.

    her and i have a great level of communication between us...i just wish she would have brought it up earlier than dropping this "space" thing on me out of no where :dunno:
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah well just from experience of being a woman and knowing women around me....asking for space is another way of saying:
    "You are smothering me"
    "I'm not that into you"

    So give her this space that she supposedly needs. Let her come to you when she's ready. I know the waiting sucks, but you shouldn't be "waiting" either.
     
  5. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    she said in a round about way i'm kinda smothering her. but again, i didnt know i was, and wish she just would have told me. from past convo's and how we are around each other, the "i'm not into you" shouldn't apply

    to be honest, she's worth it to be waiting for in this case
     
  6. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    BINGO. /thread
     
  7. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You are smothering and clingy. I can tell just by the way you've worded your posts in this thread.

    Anytime a girl starts talking about "space", it means she's losing interest in you.

    The funny thing about it is, that guys think that when a girl is losing interest in them, you have to do more for them. So you keep trying to do nicer and nicer things for them, and in turn you push them away further.

    You want to know what to do? Last night she told you you were sort of smothering her right? Well, starting today, don't talk to her for a week. BE BUSY. Go find other things to do. Hang out with your friends. Be UNAVAILABLE TO HER.

    If you think she is so worth it, you'll do that instead of caving every time she comes around to talk to you.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yep yep yep
     
  9. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    It's amazing how easy and clear it is to tell somebody else to do this, though, and how hard the actual application is when you're in their shoes.
     
  10. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    call her on saturday and let her know you're going to be spending superbowl sunday with the guys
     
  11. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :bowdown:

    Good plan.

    She's going to get upset and pissy about that methinks, but that's EXACTLY the reaction you are looking for right now.
     
  12. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    well i just want to clarify a little. when we first started dating ~7months ago, she was in school and i wasn't, and everything was "new and exciting" so obviously there were more phone calls, and texts going back and forth. so i think right there we kinda set a pace. then when i started school again i think it was just habit to start sending the calls now on my breaks instead of recieving. so i think the "clingy" part was brought on by accident, and kind of grown into.


    and ya i agree. i'm giving her all the space she needs cause i know i'm not that "clingy" person
     
  13. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    hmm, well i wouldn't think that would be the ideal way to solve things specially cause i just want to talk to her about it. let her know what i think happened and get this over with, and hopefully get back on the path with understandings on how she works :dunno:
     
  14. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You are in hardcore denial.

    We're not going to be able to help you, but maybe this book can help:

    "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover
     
  15. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    god i hope i'm not in denial :o
     
  16. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Read the book dude.

    And don't talk to her until after the super bowl.

    Just take our word for it right now until you read that book.

    What if I told you that I PROMISE you that she won't leave you or be extremely mad at you to the point of breaking up with you if you just didn't talk to her until after the super bowl on Sunday? In fact, what if I told you that she will secretly find it refreshing to be away from you and not talk to you until then and her attraction for you will increase?

    Would you do it for that reason? Just try it man.
     
  17. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    promise me huh? i'll have to give the book a shot. i got nothing else going on :mamoru:
     
  18. ustfdes

    ustfdes LPC ID: 20394

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    waiting for your wife to get back from a 12 month deployment to iraq is worse....and not knowing if you leave efore her or after her for your 18 month deployment doesnt help...and having a 2 year old together dosnt help either.
     
  19. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Heh, you'll see yourself in that book I'm sure. I know because I too saw myself in that book and I see myself in you.

    does that make a damn bit of fucking sense? :rofl:

    My point: I've been in your shoes.
     
  20. FLY-FAST

    FLY-FAST OT Supporter

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    sound advice
     
  21. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    ya that makes sense :rofl: i think alot of guys have been in my shoes.
     
  22. FLY-FAST

    FLY-FAST OT Supporter

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    What's wrong with this girl? I've never heard 'mental anguish' associated with Valentines Day, so, am curious as to the back-story. How old are each of you? Are you guys casually dating or is it something(as you see it) more serious?
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I grasp it :)
     
  24. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I think beer is partially right about it maybe being bullshit.

    But on the other hand, something bad may have happened to her on a Valentine's day in the past at the hand of one of her ex-boyfriends. She's told the threadstarter she's not used to being treated so good (not necessarily a good thing btw), so I'm guessing her past boyfriends have been worthless. Who knows what exactly happened to her and honestly I don't know if it's that important right now.
     
  25. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

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    ya i don't know the back story but she's inplied heavily that her past b/f's fucked her over one way or another, and she was really hurt from it on Vday. so i told her, she doesn't owe me an explanation if she doesn't feel like talking about it.

    i kinda am curious tho :hsugh:
     

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