virgin help kinda

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by rudeboy3, Apr 7, 2006.

  1. rudeboy3

    rudeboy3 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2006
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    canyon country CA
    ok well me and my gf have been together for 7 months and both of us are virgins. weve done oral and all that but she has a problem with having sex. and at first i thought it was just cause she didnt want to regret losing it to a guy that just wanted that or whatever but after this long i know know she loves me just as much as i love her. like i know people are gonna say you have to respect her and all and i have but i know that i want to lose my virginity to her because i know i love her and i wouldnt regret it. to be honest i think shes worried about getting pregnant even though she knows about condoms and such. idk just sometimes it bothers me that im not doing it with her in fact it gets me mad somtimes and she knows it. idk but what do you think i should do. oh btw she has a pretty hot cousin thats liked me since me and her have been together:cool: jk but serouisly is there anything i should say or just give up and be:wtc: all the time
     
  2. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Ask her why she doesn't want to make love to you ... completely.
     
  3. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    How old are you?
    BTW, respect her wishes and her virginity ;) If you can't handle that then you don't love her as much as you claim to love her.
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    The old, "If you reaalllly loved me, you would..." argument rears its foul head. Love is an emotion. Not something you use to get someone else to behave the way you want them to.

    Your girlfriend does not have some kind of honorable right to feel anxious about sex. She's not necessarily "wrong" to be uptight, but she certainly isn't "right," either.
     
  5. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    She's a virgin. She has the right to feel however she wants to about sex. Nobody should make the decision about when she has sex but her (so I am agreeing with your first paragraph).
    Why isn't she 'right' about being uptight about sex? They sound VERY young. I'm sure you realize the consequences that come with sex (and the threadstarter did mention a fear of pregnancy along with a lack of knowledge of birth control). That can be terrifying for a young girl.
    IMO our teens are almost pushed into having sex too early. IT'S OKAY TO WAIT!
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Emotions do not justify themselves. It is a destructive myth, the idea that we have a right to feel however we want. For one thing, you can't control how you feel, so you can't have a "right" to feel a certain way, because it's not your choice. For another, saying you have a right to feel whatever you want connotes the existence of some kind of sanctity about your current emotional state. There's nothing sacrosanct about emotions.

    To give a simple example. I may get insane with anger when a child bumps into me. That doesn't mean I "should." Or have a right to do so.
     
  7. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Forgive me for I'm tired. Are you saying that she shouldn't resist and she should just have sex with him? Are you implying somehow that virginity is overrated? You seem to be saying that we should simply throw our emotions out the window and just basically 'go with the flow'? Correct me if I'm wrong but that's the impression that I get.
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Throwing out emotions is wrong for the opposite reason, which is that sometimes emotions make sense.

    What I'm saying is that we should see if our emotions are good for us or bad for us. If they are good for us, we should let them run. If they are bad for us, we should attempt to ignore them.

    In the same example from before, imagine that a child bumps into me, and I feel intense rage. That emotion is not something I should let run, but something I should ignore, because getting bumped into doesn't merit punching the kid in the face.

    Similarly, if someone kisses me on the cheek, and I feel a swell of love for them, I should let that emotion run, because it's good for everyone involved when affection is reciprocated.
     
  9. rudeboy3

    rudeboy3 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2006
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    canyon country CA
    well like i said im just wondering what i should do because i wouldnt say if you love me you would do this because i really do love her the way i said i did. idk maybe i should just use my right hand longer lol. and the birth control thing she doesnt have a lack of knowledge but she is just really nervous about pregnancy. were gonna turn 16 btw
     
  10. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    8,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    If you're only 16 you've still got your life ahead of you. Patience, grasshopper :p


    Seriously though, I'm a firm believer in everyone losing their virginity when they feel good and ready. Nobody should be coerced into sex. It is a profound change for most people.
     

Share This Page