Views on SO with opposite sex friends

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Handsom3, Jul 24, 2008.

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  1. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    A converstaion came up two night ago about us being friends with people of the opposite sex and what we do with them. She asked if I'd get upset with her if she got invited out to lunch by some guy from her class. I said yes I would, but it would be a make or break thing. She hinted that she was upset, but she told me that she trusted me and didn't have issues with it.

    Fastforward to last night she gets home from work and said that she was discussing our converstation from last night with people from work. She said that I shouldn't get upset because if I trusted her I should have no problem. Thats when she told me that a few weeks ago she went out with some guy from class to McDonalds, but didn't eat anything. :noes: I was like okay cool and then didn't say much the rest of the night.

    Anyways, I was just wondering what everyone here thought about this. Honestly I would feel werid having lunch with another chick by myself, but thats just me.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm friends with mostly guys and my bf is very cool with it, however, they are long term guy friends and I get lunch with them on occasion.

    This guy is just some male classmate, right?

    How long you been dating?
     
  3. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Right now she is going to her local CC which I know as lot of people she went to school with so it is possible that he is a friend from her high school. We will have been dating 2 years this coming September.
     
  4. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Straight men and straight women can't be just friends. Sex will always be between them.
     
  5. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    :eek3:
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh man, you got back together with that girl? :uh:
     
  7. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Women think it's possible because they have a 'friends ladder'. Guys don't have this so-called friends ladder.
     
  8. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Wow, you must have a huge memory for things like these. Anyways, we wound up working through a lot of things and kind of started over. I'm just on the fence about this issue, because I'm not a controlling person and I don't want to tell her that she can't have guy friends.
     
  9. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    I've heard of that, but I would think it is possible. I know growing up that I've had tons of girlfriends, but I tend to be the sensitive type...
     
  10. teep

    teep New Member

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    unless the dude was previously friends with her i would think that it was kind of weird. sounds awfully date like. On the other hand, I hung out all day with a female friend a couple weeks ago and my SO was cool with it cause i've been friends with the girl for 4 years now.

    that's not to say you're not allowed to make new friends if they're the opposite sex though.... tricky...
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sigh....

    I have many guy friends and my bf is comfortable with it. If after 2 years he suddenly said he didn't want me hanging with guys I'd have to leave him :dunno: However, it sounds like you have no idea who this guy is. I feel it's a little different when a woman (who you've broken up with and had problems with) suddenly has a new guy "friend" that she goes to lunch with.
     
  12. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    I guess what it comes down to me is asking her if this is a old friend or something new.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    yes, please do.
     
  14. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Better in person or text her now?
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    In person or at least on the phone after work/school/whatever. If you ever ask important questions or have fights via text, consider your relationship a waste.
     
  16. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Never have before, infact we never fought over the phone. Just didn't think it would hurt. :dunno:
     
  17. teep

    teep New Member

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    so what exactly are the rules on making new friends... I feel like I would be uncomfortable if my gf suddenly was going out to dinner with a dude she met at work or something and vice versa
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Texting it will just give her the time to plan out the perfect text. You hear and see no emotion.
     
  19. PureEnergy

    PureEnergy New Member

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    Some of my friend's gf completely ditched their guy friends completely. He tells his gf that I'm the only guy friend you need. Naturally she complies. I always see them together.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That's sad.
     
  21. City

    City Don't you know who I am?

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    Yeah, you definitely need to find out the status on their friendship. I wouldn't even feel comfortable going to lunch with someone from class unless I had hung out with them socially at least half a dozen times. I'd be concerned but not overly worried.
     
  22. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Thats exactly what I don't want to happen. I know that would just kill our relationship. At the same time I don't how to react to new guy friends.
     
  23. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Yeah, some guy at her work tried this and she told him off. Then the dude came up and apologized to me about it.
     
  24. City

    City Don't you know who I am?

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    That's a pretty valid point. My girlfriend has been in the same situation. Not trying to generalize though.

    Eventually she realized on her own that making new guy friends isn't easy because most of them end up wanting to sex it up. She has a solid core of guy friends that she has known for years and she tends to stick with them.
     
  25. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    It comes down to the fact that women are much more social creatures than men are. And to women their social circle is more important to them than to men. Many women don't get along with other women so to maintain their social circle guy friends replace women friends. A guy just befriends her because he is keeping the potential of sleeping with her open. And either he has the balls to make a move on her, or he is the "nice guy" type and never makes a move hoping she will see him as more than "just a friend".

    If your girlfriends want to have guy friends let them, and don't display jealousy. Jealousy makes people do things you didn't want them to do. Tell her it is fine to have guy friends but if their relationship rises above platonic into flirting, making out, sex, etc... that your relationship is over, and then never bring it up again. It will show to her that you have emotions invested in your relationship with her, that you are a man that wont tolerate any inappropriate behavior, and that you aren't a jealous wussy constantly thinking if she is going to cheat on you.
     
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