LGBT Views of Homosexuality from a Str8 Guy.

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Killgunner, Jul 21, 2004.

  1. Killgunner

    Killgunner Guest

    From the time I was very young my dad was always saying shit like "haha look at those faggots" and has even admited to me before that he used to "gay bash" back when it was big. I am from Texas and I KNOW it isn't right to stereotype all gay people and I am probably a lot a bit homophobic. Maybe you guys can discontinue some myths about homosexuals that maybe keep me scared to try to be friendly around them? I think its going to be a big problem in the future seeing how America is growing in diversity and opening up to newer types of things.

    Discuss.
     
  2. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Wow. That statement is amazing...

    ...ly ignorant.


    Uhh, tell me some of the myths?
    :o
     
  3. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...it's really cool that you are making the attempt to change the pattern. So many people who have such hate embedded into them don't bother to independently learn the truth of what's out there, and come to their own conclusions.

    kudos
     
  4. Killgunner

    Killgunner Guest

    I'm sorry you thought It was ignorant, It was a statement my dad has actually TOLD me he did when he was younger... we are talking 70's.

    as far as the myths go... I don't really know man.. Like most homosexuals have aids... shit that someone who is ignorant to homosexuality wouldn't know... (I know that was a dumb example but I don't really believe that one).
     
  5. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    It's just that in all of my years as a queer theorist and activist (publicly debating anti-queer politician, MSBE board members, and Fred Phelps), I've never heard such a profoundly nonchalant disregard for humanity, albeit a facet. To me, that phrase is up their beside 'God Hates Fags' (as if any GOD could actually HATE anyone).

    Now, with the stereotypes, there are hundreds of things that 'they' say about us. One such example is that we all have AIDS, or will inherently die from it. Uhh, statistically, the queer community is the ONLY community whose base infection rate has decreased. Admittedly, part of the reason is because so many people believed that AIDS was ONLY a queer thing, and thus didn't protect themselves...

    Another stereotype that comes to mind is that all male queers want to be women. Again, a non-truth. I like my dick. I don't know what I would do with myself if I ever DIDN'T have a dick. This myth is based on the very laxed observation that queers (or, the noticeably queer) all have some mannerism that the average Joe American believes a stereotypical female trait [think good hygiene, paying attention to detail, buying Details Magazine, witty humor, fashion moguls, a definingly/stunningly eye catching walk, etc].

    If you think of others, I'll debunk them for you.
     
  6. Killgunner

    Killgunner Guest

    Ok how about the myth that after you have .... uh sex with another guy.....
    you start talking and acting more feminene.

    Again I'm sure you think that sounds immature and retarded... but again let me tell you Im not very old and I ADMIT to being ignorant on the subject.

    As far as the gay bashing thing... do you not believe that happened more often back in the 70's? I do.
     
  7. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I don't have to believe it, I kNOW it to be true.
     
  8. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    oh, that's another myth: queers are inherently weak. Uhh, have you seen NOVA? Cedric?? Myth dismissed...

    [No? actually, that's what's funny. Queers are stereotyped as having excellent physique AND being physically weak. I just never got that one... How could one look like the guys I mentioned above AND be thought of as weak simultaneously?]
     
  9. Killgunner

    Killgunner Guest

    Actually my view on it is... i'm not gonna talk shit to some GUY because he is gay. Because as far as I am concerned until I know you are a weak bitch your still a GUY and GUYs aren't generally weak. Its about the TYPE of person you are that makes how you fight.
     
  10. bioyuki

    bioyuki Ich habe Angst

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    Where are you in SoCal?

    I'll pay you a visit and wipe away all those myths :naughty:
     
  11. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    The simple answer is that it's a non-truth.



    The complicated answer comes in the underlining reasoning for the more feminine traits/mannerism... As crude as it sounds, culturally we are socialized to think that men give and women receive, amongst other things. Some Queer Theorists argue that the simple act of taking a penis inside of you (thus receiving) makes the person want to act in a more feminine way to emotionally deal with the sociocultural training...all on a subconscious level. Other Queer Theorists argue that some queers decide to consciously perform 'female' in order to attract willing mates. And those who do not wish to be so overt, can pick up or read certain queer cues, be it a series of colors, a sway, a swagger, coded language, physical contacts, or other symbols or symbolic acts. Combined, they make up what has been termed our "gay-dare".
     
  12. Neuman

    Neuman New Member

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    are you kidding me? maybe here in the united states yes....you do realize there is shit that STILL goes on in other countries that are far worse than this?
     
  13. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :sadwavey: ...not to say that I'm not aware of what's happening out the US of A, or that I don't care...there isn't anything that I can do at this time about such things. I can, however, debate Fred Phelps on tv—raising over $5500 that went to pro-queer causes, or debate anti-queer MSBE members and actually helped change the school system, or be on an action committee to talk and advice political officers on queer issues... That is where my focus currently is, and so in that capacity, I have never heard a statement so profoundly nonchalant about my individual worth.


    I'm sorry if you are dealing with worst elsewhere, but by all means, do pick up that torch and run with it. I'm carrying several as it is...and getting burnt along the way.

     
  14. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    It seems to me like straight guys fear gay men "hitting on them." :( Not every guy is attractive, just like not every girl is attractive. :) And honestly, I don't know that many blunt people, gay or straight, that just hit on people they find attractive the minute they see them.
     
  15. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :o ...no comment to that last part, but otherwise good point.
     
  16. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    Maybe it's just something left over from years of playing the homophobe myself, but the idea of a feminine-acting gay guy hitting on me is still unsettling, attractive or not.
    I know one person who's like this, and I'm certain that it has a lot to do with him being European. He was telling me the other day that he saw this incredibly hot girl, and he was checking her out...until he saw that she was wearing "grandma" panties :ugh:. He nearly walked up to her and told her that she was smokin, but no girl under the age of 60 should be caught dead wearing those. I believe he would've done it too, because I've seen him do stuff like that. He's just very very blunt (almost to a fault), confident and most importantly isn't afraid of getting shot down.
     
  17. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    first off, i commend any individual who desires to dispel any past stereotypes and who wants to get out of their comfort zone and geniunely ask questions about a lifestyle they might not be too well informed about. So i really thank you for takin the time to post as corny as that sounds.

    Myth no. 1: I am not hitting on you. I am only being nice. :)

    Myth no. 2: I do not want to sleep with you. Most gays are smart enough to not hit on straight people. They prefer men who like other men. ;) So I apologize on behalf of those insolent assholes who might have put you or anyone else out of your comfort zone for a cheap thrill.

    Myth no. 3: We aren't a disease. Everyone around us doesn't turn gay. That's just homophobia. Besides, it takes two heterosexual parents to raise a homosexual. Proof is yours truly :)

    Myth no. 4: Yes, we may act feminine. But that's just because we are over enthusiastic about life and love people and the the joys of human interaction whether it is shoppin with a cute girl or sitting down at a cafe amongst friends.

    Myth no. 5: Some people say gay people are worthless. Well in that case, we could all leave. Then the U.S. would be full of people with bad hair, skin, no fashion sense since we are not here to provide haircuts and stylings and pedicures, etc., as well as many lonely women who dont have the comfort of a gay man to help through a breakup and maybe a rebound ;).

    On a more serious note about myth no. 5, i laugh at people who dont want to be around gays. Fact is, they cant help but be around. When they are on a busy bus, chances are there is a gay man or woman right on there with it. On a plane, they might be sitting next to a gay businessman. The dinner you might be eating at that fancy restaurant might be cooked by a chef who happens to have a g/f waiting for her at home. The clothes you are wearing or the furniture in your house might have been designed by a gay individual. Face it, homosexuals are everywhere. People just have to accept it. Some of us might be total big ol queens but lots of us are butch mutherfuckers that would take fixing a car or doing a gruelin hike anyday over a manicure. :)

    I know i'm just joking around but i want this topic to stay light and not too serious for the sake of both sides of this conversation. I also want you to really see that gay people are really no different than anyone else. We are all humans and that is something many people forget to realize. But this also applies to people who have prejudice due to race, sex, age, etc. etc. We forget we're all made the exact same way.

    Anyways before i get too philosophical, welcome again and thanks for your geniune interest.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2004
  18. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    I know what you mean. I feel a little...awkward around feminine acting guys. I don't know why.
     
  19. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...I like this thread.
     
  20. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Killgunner,

    First of all, I want to commend you for at least making an attempt to try and understand that which you fear or don't understand.

    Second, since you're a guy and your main issue or discomfort is with gay guys, I'm going to talk here about gay guys and not use the general term of homosexuals (which includes females aka "lesbians").

    There are a lot of myths and fallacies surrounding homosexuality and how homosexuals act or what they do. There are a lot of stereotypes that surround homosexuality. Some are justified and some are not.

    The main one is that homosexuals are weak. As I already pointed out in another thread, weakness comes in all different forms ranging from physically weak, to emotionally, psychologically and constitutionally weak. Some gay guys are weak in all departments. Some gay guys are physically strong, but weak in other ways. Other gay guys are very strong in many different ways. There are a ton of gay guys in the military and you've probably served, or trained along side some of them and you never knew it. They can handle a gun, and/or kill someone just as quickly, efficiently and professionally as you can.

    However, keep in mind that there are also straight guys out there that exhibit the same types of weaknesses as gay guys. Yes, they don't necessarily act feminine, but you need to understand something, and this goes for some of you other gay guys that are members here and who have a hard time dealing with feminine guys: GET OVER IT. What are you worrying about, and what is it that's making you feel so uncomfortable?

    Some feminine gay guys are that way because that is truly who they are and how they feel. You can't change that. Everyone is different, and diversity is part of human nature. Some gay guys are feminine because they put on an act. And yes, those are the type of feminine guys that make me ill. So how do you tell the difference? Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it isn't.

    Personally, I don't waste my time trying to figure them out. In most cases, you can tell someone who is genuine and someone who isn't. If someone isn't genuine, it doesn't take long for them to get the hint that you're not interested and you want them to take a hike.

    However, above and beyond all else, RESPECT other people, regardless of whether or not they are feminine or masculine...or hitting on you. Now, when I say hitting on you, I should probably clarify that. If a gay guy expresses an interest in you, there is no need to immediately let your fear get the best of you and enter into full defensive mode. If you're not gay, or you're not interested simply tell him that, or come up with an excuse and move on. It's really that simple.

    If the guy becomes physical, or gropes you without your permission, then that's a different story. A couple years ago I was in a club walking through a crowd, and some guy that was passing by me, grabbed my crotch and kept walking by. I swung around, and he got a backhanded fist to the back of the head. For me, that was instinct, and I didn't even have to think about it twice. He didn't even turn around and look because he knew exactly where it came from. If you want to look, drool, or get a little touchy-feely...fine. But if I don't know you and you touch me, or grope me without an invitation, you're asking for trouble. :o

    Now let's stand back and take a general look at homosexuality. Killgunner, what is it about homosexuality that you fear or dislike so much. Take a minute and mentally put the concept of gay sex aside and look at it from the perspective of heterosexuality. What are the concepts of a heterosexual relationship?

    1. Love
    2. Companionship
    3. Friendship

    Add more to the list if you wish. The same exists in gay relationships. Not all gay people are looking for sex only and nothing else. Gay people have the same emotional needs and desires as straight people do, it's just that those emotional needs and desires lie on the side of the same sex and not the opposite sex. Gay people can't explain it. It's how they feel, it's who they are, it's how they feel most comfortable. Same for heterosexuals. Heterosexuals desire people of the opposite sex, because it's who they are, it's how they feel and it's how they feel most comfortable. There are no differences other than the physical sex part.

    Unfortunately, over the years, homosexuality has received an extremely bad rap because of many factors. The main ones are fear from heterosexuals which stems from that which they do not understand, and the proactive, feminine gay guys, or butch lesbians....flamboyant drag queens, etc., that are often seen in the media. Because the media focuses on that which appears strange or unusual, mainstream society believes that all gay people are like that. That could not be further from the truth.

    For every flamboyant gay person you see at a Pride Parade on TV, there are two times that many gay people who you would never guess are gay, have no desire to make a spectacle out of themselves, and only want what everyone else has - a special, loving, long-lasting relationship with that one special person.

    So in summary, there are a lot of misconceptions about homosexuality out there, and a lot of stems out of fear from that which you do not understand, and those who tend to ruin it for the whole. The physical, sexual aspect of homosexuality may turn you off, but if you can actually take a little time to cast that aside, and look past the physical aspect of it, you'll see that homosexuals want the same thing you do, to fall in love, have a family, a home, and a happy and successful life.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2004
  21. Killgunner

    Killgunner Guest

    In responce to your question NovaJock I think I am most afraid of gay guys hitting on me... I just can't get over that. I am sure its based on ignorance and seeing how it hasn't even ever happened to me I guess your right.




    oh and btw... thats a badass car in your AV.
     
  22. Killgunner

    Killgunner Guest

    It's stuff like this that keeps me in defense mode everytime I see a gay man.

    :o
     
  23. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Honestly, if and when a gay guy hits on you, just simply tell them you're not interested. It's no different than when a girl gets hit on by a guy.

    I love the GT! :bigthumb:
     
  24. Killgunner

    Killgunner Guest

    "Sorry, I am not gay bro"

    But then I'll feel all bad about embarassing him.
    I think I am a pretty nice guy and thats probably what scares me about it the most.
     
  25. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Yeah but Kill...bioyuki was joking with you. There's seriously no reason why you have to be in defense mode around gay guys all the time. They're not going to apprehend you and rape you till you can't see straight. If a gay guy hits on you, it's because he finds something about you attractive...same reason why a straight guy hits on a girl or vice versa. There really is no difference, except that a guy doesn't get freaked out being around girls when a girl hits on him, and a girl doesn't freak out about being around guys when a guy hits on here. There's nothing to be afraid of. :hs:
     

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