SRS Very uncomfortable with new roommates.(anonymous thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Aug 31, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I just moved back into college for my junior year and I have 3 other roommates. They are great friends that I've had since freshman year. Only problem is they are all outgoing, social, good with the girls, etc and I am the complete opposite. I'm good looking but I am very shy and do not know how to talk to girls like they do.

    Since I've been with them, I've been forced into more social situations and are very uncomfortable with it. I know that's normal because I'm not used it it, but it does not seem to be improving. THe same thing happens every time we go out. They all get girls and I'm kinda just left out, then I leave and go home. Any advice on how to improve upon this? We still need to meet the people on my floor, but like I said, I'm shy and it's not easy for me. Like I'll be walking down the hall and a girl will walk by but I'll be too shy to say anything unless she basically looks at me and smiles. I'm too afraid to take the initiative with this kind of shit.
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    make an appt with a counselor on campus and go.
     
  3. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Sounds like this could be a good thing for you maybe you'll learn to come out of your shell a little bit give it a try at least you got nothing to lose. I know where you're coming from I used to be very shy like that too :o
     
  4. tDoYatRoM

    tDoYatRoM New Member

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    You will just have to start talking to more people including girls. There is no way around it.
     
  5. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    :werd:

    Take the opportunity for self improvement. :bigthumb:
     
  6. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    ask your buddies to get you laid
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    this.
     
  8. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I retract my previous post.






    this.
     
  9. SHINOBIENDO

    SHINOBIENDO OT Supporter

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    Give it time, talking to a random girl for the first time is the biggest step. No homo but try talking to guys your age or older women who you have no interest in. It helps...

    People generally want to talk about themselves so let them.
     
  10. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    I agree with this.

    Sometimes pushing your limits and forcing yourself to be in situations that you're uncomfortable in will actually help you grow as a person. Heck, I used to HATE wearing shorts until I got a job at abercrombie. Now I'm not as self conscious and don't hate my body as much.

    Might not be a bad thing. :dunno:
     
  11. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    at least you are going and putting yourself out there. which is more than 99% of guys with your problem can say.
     
  12. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    A guy in New York in the 40's was really shy. His goal was to be able to feel comfortable around ladies and more sociable in general within a year. He forced himself to talk to just about everyone he met, including all good looking women. By the end of the year he was well known as the smoothest bachelor in the city. Some famous writer of the time did an article about him and printed it in the Times. I've had a hell of a time trying to find the source in the archives but I'll keep looking (I saw the original article in another book at a relatives house).

    We are naturally prone to socialize. If we don't know how we do so by observing the other person or groups, even if that means we fail a bunch of times. We'll eventually get it. Even the most shy. What this guy did was constant exposure. Not just meet 1 or 2 people a day, he talked to dozens each day for 365 days a year. After each interaction he thought a bit about how it went and tweaked his methods. That's thousands of revisions.

    A great book on getting out of your shell is Goodbye To Shy. A good book for women is Undercover Sex Signals. The latter isn't a pickup guide, it's just picking up on how women flirt, because the vast majority of men don't get it. It also explains some biological factors in why we choose certain types. If you think they sound scammy, the good news is you can try before you buy. They are both on torrents and ebooks.

    Or you could ask your friends and disregard what I've told you, but I don't think that'll help you get over your shyness.
     
  13. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :werd: this is not a bad thing in the least!

    who would you rather be roommates with? a shy guy like yourself or the roommates you currently have? :hsugh: it seems like a no brainer to me. as the year goes on you'll hopefully break out of your shell more. it'll be much more likely for you to get girls with the outgoing, social roommates than a roommate like yourself.

    don't obsess over getting girls. we're overrated. ;)
     
  14. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    This is just a confidence issue... What are you afraid of? Do you want to not be in these social gatherings, or do you just not want to pick up a random girl at a party?
     
  15. AsperGirl

    AsperGirl New Member

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    Sounds like you might want to get started with some conscious effort at social skills training if they're not coming naturally. There are youtube videos on reading people, what people do in conversations, what agendas people have in social situations, etc. If this stuff doesn't come naturally to you, you have to develop the skills somehow.

    One good social skill to learn is how to leave when it's a good time to leave. If you're hanging out with them and you're not scoring or connecting or something, learn how to say good-bye and check out before it gets to the point where you feel uncomfortable about it.
     
  16. CaminoReal

    CaminoReal Custom User Title

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    link to this?
     
  17. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    I don't have a youtube link but the book that it is likely based off of is: Games People Play, by Eric Berne.
     
  18. Oh Its Joe

    Oh Its Joe OT Supporter

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    coming from you :rofl::rofl:
     
  19. Dangerousmind

    Dangerousmind bad-ass amnesiac

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  20. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    seriously wolfskymoon is one of the biggest hypocrites on OT
     

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