SRS verbal abuse

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Capicu, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    my relationship of 9 months is now over because of me

    i have anger issues and i have been verbally abusive to my girlfriend (well now ex)

    i know there is a strong possibility of the relationship continuing

    but i need to change, i want to change

    how can i do this and prove to her i wont continue like this?
     
  2. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    we had made plans to go to the beach with some friends
    and she was giving me an attitude from the moment i picked her up

    thats nothing new and it usually gets solved by a me saying "shutup" in a joking way and giving her a hug and a kiss and everything is fine

    but yesterday, for some reason, i decided to take it differently

    i got pissed off and by the time we got to the beach i was furious.

    we were already set up on the sand and everything, and i completely flipped, i was eating a sandwich and i threw it on the sand got up and walked away

    when i came back she wanted me to pick up the sandwich, i was telling her to shut up and "fuck you"

    i told her i was gunna leave and for her to find her way home.

    i ended up taking her home because nobody could come and pick me up

    its not the first time i've done something like that

    whenever i get extremely pissed off i tend to go overboard.

    i was yelling and everything in the middle of a crowd, i didn't care who was there, what i looked like, what i was saying, and much less how i was hurting her
     
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Anger management classes?? Therapy?? Ever tried those?

    Most people talk about wanting to change and want all sorts of advice about how to change, yet when it comes right down to it, they are all talk. Talk is cheep. Actions produce results. Take some action. Look in your phone book for anger mgmt classes, find a psychiatrist or psychologist and make an appointment.
     
  4. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    within 9 months we've fought maybe 4 times

    and every time i overreact and take it way too far

    i've called her every name in the book

    bitch, whore, fuck you (countless times), i've told her she means nothing to me, shes not worth it, bla bla bla, etc.

    and the thing is i've never meant any of the fucked up shit i've said to her

    its like i become a completely different person when i get pissed off
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Why are you still talking about this?? Take actions to correct it or you'll continue to run off women or only have subservient women around.
     
  6. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    ur right, i'll try to get involved in something right away
     
  7. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    You don't deserve her or any other girlfriend right now. :ugh: She's much better than how you're treating her and she's better off without you. Don't try to prove anything to her. Do her a favor and let her go... for good.

    Get your shit together, man. Figure out why you're so pissed off- why you choose not to control it- and how you change it. Like Cootie said- therapy, anger management and a little respect will go a long way.

    No self respecting girl would allow someone, especially their mate, call them a whore, a bitch, and tell her she means nothing. She shouldn't try to work it out with you. She needs help as much as you do.

    Good luck to both of you.
     
  8. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    why is she giving u attitude?
     
  9. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    for no fucking reason

    i was w/ my friend and his sister too, and i picked them up before i picked her up

    they both say i had all the right to flip out after her acting like that with me

    but i did take it way too far.

    even she admits she was going too far w/ the attitude.

    well, i have an appointment for tomorrow

    and as far as the relationship, we are on a "break"

    its killing me that im not "with" her nor talking to her, etc.
     
  10. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    i can't sleep tonight

    everytime we've fought like that, shes always given me a fucked up attitude and then we start arguing over bullshit

    and then she always throws shit at me

    ex: "i had the chance to cheat on u and i didn't but i should have"

    and shit like that, which only pisses me off even more

    i have more issues though, i have a hard time trusting anybody, and she knows this better than anyone, but i trust her, and as time goes on i've trusted her even more.

    i used to be a controlling asshole, my girlfriends pretty much never had any friends, but with this one, im the complete opposite, im not gunna lie and say it doesn't bother me a little that she has other male friends but i've learned to be more tolerant and accepting of that, i have never expressed that in this relationship

    except with 1 of her friends, which she knows about, and she keeps throwing in my face "im gunna go back to him"

    because this "friend" of hers is someone who shes told me that she keeps running back to between relationships, they dated for 2 weeks and then "on and off" between her other longer relationships.

    i have this sense of worry now because we are on a "break" and i worry that she might run back to her "friend"

    it was such a great relationship we had aside from the fights, and the fights have gotten progressively calmer, until yesterday when i flipped out

    this whole shit is killing me inside, i was supposed to meet her grandparents who are coming overseas.

    the relationship has been getting pretty serious, we have been talking about the future and all that stuff.
     
  11. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    oh i forgot to mention that she likes to throw it in my face that i've slept w/ 3 other people and shes only slept with 1 other person, which i believe to be bullshit but i don't let it get to me
     
  12. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    but none of this has been brought up for the past few months

    the relationship has been so fucking great and it has gotten so much better in the past few months. which is why i believe we can work through this.

    i feel so much more depressed than angry right now

    but it just feels good to get this off my chest
     
  13. auto

    auto New Member

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    I was like that in my younger years, reacting and saying hurtful things without thinking. Now I take a 2-3 second pause before I say anything, even a pause that short helps me to form a more tactful response then something I would blurt out off the cuff.
     

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