SRS venting...extremely sad

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ruckutopa9, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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    Well I stated here a couple of months ago that I was dating a girl that had a boyfriend. Shes been with him for 7 years and shes 23 and hes 57. Do the math, I'm very curious on how a 50 year old would approach a 16 year old for a date, anyways, he supports her a lot financially and shes been with him so long that she doesn't know what she would do if he wasn't there and they've been having problems the past year. Naturally when we started dating I tried to do the things her bf does, I tried supporting her financially and emotionally to let her know that there were other guys out there. We were dating for 2 months and I really liked her, I even dropped the "Love" phrase. Today she texted me (which was a shit way to do it IMO) that she didn't want a relationship with me and that what we're doing is bad. I am extremely heartbroken but its okay because I'm a positive person and we had a great few months together, also because I have a lot going on right now with work, school, and some grad school stuff. I even had plans on what to do on Valentines Day and her Bday, and I told her (not as a last ditch effort to get her but its just my nature that if I planned it for you, its yours). I knew it'd end badly and I knew what I was getting myself into but I didn't know it'd hurt this much. Thanx for reading OT, just needed to vent in some manner. :wtc:
     
  2. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    :hug:

    I don't really have advice to offer, but that sucks. Keep your chin up, you'll get through it. I just still cannot fathom being 16 and dating a 50 year old. My parents would have locked me in my room.
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    sucks that shes with some old rich dude. all i can say is move on and forget about her, thats your best bet, delete her number and find a new girl, one who wouldnt be with a creepy old man for her money (i have to assume thats why they are together)
     
  4. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    Sounds like you were in the friendzone :hs:

    But this girl sounds like she has issues. Daddy issues?
     
  5. IHAMWETARDDID

    IHAMWETARDDID "We could make babies and accidental songs..."

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    Wow, Im sorry. That big of an age gap is odd and even worse is that her family condoned her, being sixteen, dating someone who is so much older.:hug:
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I never heard about your situation, but right away my suggestion would have been "Enormous mistake. It's unwise to be involved with anyone who is already involved with someone else.

    The first thing that comes to mind is, what in the world would attract you to someone who obviously has a father-figure complex? Emotionally supporting, financially supporting, an age gap that large? That's likely exactly what's happening in her case. So why would you pursue that?

    Again, another enormous error. Never, and I mean never support a woman financially until you're married to her and have completed the courting process. It is never wise to create dependency.

    This is actually a "small" consequence of the choice you made. It was foolish to date someone involved with someone else. It's foolish to date "anyone" who is still connected to someone else, even if they're broken up!

    It is unfortunate, and I do empathize with your pain. Planning to continue giving someone a gift after a break-up is not useful.

    Well venting here is fine, so I understand your need. I do hope you'll consider my advice.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    That's what I was thinking.
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Be very very glad that this didn't work out. You do NOT want to date a girl like that, she obviously has some serious issues.
     
  9. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Well, you reap what you sow there guy. Don't tell me you were shocked by this decision...
     
  10. Asherman

    Asherman New Member

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    There used to be a term for the young woman. "Gold Digger", perhaps the term was overly simplistic, but it never characterized the sort of girl a serious young man could profitably pursue outside of the movies.

    Stop wasting your time, move on to women with more character, or fewer "Daddy Issues". There's no great hurry to enter into a long-term relationship, is there? Tend to your business whether it is finishing your education/training, or just building a career/reputation for being a dependable serious person. Chase fewer women, and more women will chase you. Take your time choosing who you may spend the next forty or fifty years with, and you'll have fewer regrets later. Ask yourself, will this person be a good Mother, wife and partner? Have doubts, take more time.
     
  11. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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    Thanx for all the love OT, well the plans are *kaput* for now, they were really nice plans too, guess I'll save it for my future gf. The bfs not even rich, she's just staying with him out of habit & obligation because its been so long, I'm probably richer. It just hurts because I was willing to sacrifice so much for her, cater to her every whim, just to make her feel comfortable. I just guess my best wasn't good enough for her, even though if the the bf *keeled* over right now, I know she'll come running to me but I wouldn't want that to happen because I know she'll be heartbroken and I wouldn't want to see her like that. I just want her to be happy.
     
  12. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Wow, come on man... wake up!!!
     
  13. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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    I should know better too, I'm 26 and I date a lot but have only had 5 serious gfs. The only reason why I feel so strongly is because of my "superhero complex" in which I wanna try and save her.
     
  14. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Yes, you need to seek out women who don't "need" you.
     
  15. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    I thought you were doing better till the last part of your post. Stop being so clingy, especially to the wrong women.
     
  16. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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    heh, thnx, I think heh, right now I'm just more focused on school, work, grad school, and projects
     
  17. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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    *update* OMG, I'm glad it kinda ended now, I just found out from her, and I've come to the conclusion that this girl HAS a massive amount of problems. *it seems I might've dodged a bullet for 1nce*
     
  18. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    You are fortunate in that respect, so don't do it again.
     

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