variety topic...what's with all the single parents?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MattThom01, Jun 19, 2007.

  1. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I thought I'd post a topic just to get some variety. It's a little boring seeing a page full of threads by 3 guys, all about the PUA/alpha male/whatever the stuff is called this week.

    So, for somewhat of a random topic...what's with all the single parents out there?

    I'm only 23, but it seems like a LOT of people my age already have kids. Heck, I know that girls think this too...I met a girl last week who asked if I had kids, I said no, and she answers "we'll that's surprising".

    Call me old fashioned, but I don't feel at all ready to have or support a child. I don't see that happening until I am in my 30's at least...

    Don't get me wrong. I admit that when I hear that a woman has a child, I pretty much stop pursing her or seeing if it will go anywhere romantically. It's not anything against the woman, it's not even anything against the fact that she has a child..it's simply that I am not ready to support a child at this point.

    So...for the point of discussion, what is with all the single parents? Where does one go to find people that do not have children?
     
  2. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    That's a good question; I'd even like to know where they're hiding the girls who don't want to have kids... at all. My view is that with the direction this world is heading in, it's no world to bring a child into. Not to mention I don't like dealing with kids and never have.
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I dunno but it's definitely a turn off. I think a lot of people just don't have enough common sense to use birth control. My ex's sister is about to have a kid and she's already had at least 3 abortions and 1 miscarriage :ugh: :uh: It's too bad that it's become more socially acceptable to have bastard children because it's not a good thing for anyone.
     
  4. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I dont find it all that common, except for this little hick town that is 30 min down the highway from my town. If a girl can get out of that town without having a kid by 16 they are considered a success.

    However, the reasons it is common is probably because unfortunatly we can't make people get some sort of license before having sex - this would weed out the dumb fucks who aren't smart enough to use protection, etc...

    Mind you accidents do happen even when taking precautions, but there are other options before one of the parents (usually the girl) has to raise a kid by themselves.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I wrote this the other day in a blog, I thought it seemed appropriate:

    Even though I love my little nephews I still think about kids in my future all the time, and how I may not have any. Why do I think about them all the time? Because people talk about having kids at such a young age a ridiculous amount these days. Ever since I was a little girl I had no interest in playing "mommy," and even as I get older I'm realizing that I just might not have the mothering gene. I don't think it's a big deal. I mean obviously if in a long time I really want one then maybe, but part of me thinks this is the kind of desire most women have in them for a long time. What really bothers me however is whenever I have shared this ideal of mine people immediately attack it with some statement like "Oh you are just young, wait and see."

    Why can NO one accept the fact that some people just shouldn't have kids? I see and hear examples all the time of horrendous parents that should have never become parents in the first place. Why are they so selfish? The fact of the matter is that people see children most of the time as a way to fix emptiness. Basically, kids are the new dogs. They're an accesory to flaunt around. Some people get bored in their marriages and feel like kids will fill that void in their relationship. Movie, TV and society shove this ideal down our throats that it is "normal" to get married and obviously have babies. I've known a good handful of young friend who are already married young and immediately their first thought is "lets have kids!" without thinking of the consequences what so ever. Then of course a few years later they realize that their marriage was a joke and they divorce. Other times a girl gets knocked up and the couple feels it's the best thing for the child to be together (this is what society makes them think at least), when is actuality it is the worst thing for a child to endure.

    I saw a lot of families when I was working on Fathers Day and was just blown away at the prime examples of unhappy family's laid out before me. Some of them didn't even look or talk to one another the whole meal and it made me depressed because so many people are such shitty parents that their kids can't stand to even be around them for 5 minutes. I love my parents to death and would do anything for them because they would do anything for me. It's just disappointing how many other family's are like that.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Thank god there are smart women like you out there who are able to make the right decision and raise their child well at least.
     
  7. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    ^^I feel bad for single mothers, men have a 'choice' of if they are going to be a part of the kids life (I don't think there is even a choice to make, but since the kid isn't coming out of us, men are able to run away). Which sucks, I'm just glad that there are women out there that can still raise a healthy kid even if the father made the wrong choice.
     
  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I had wondered this, too.

    Nearly everyone I meet my age (26) is either married, has a kid, or both.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Ever wonder why it seems that the people who make the conscious decision that they don't want kids are the ones who would probably make the best parents?

    What I mean is, most of the people I know who are like "I never want kids" are smart, financially stable and responsible, are intelligent and logical, and successful. An ideal combination for successfully raising offspring (objectively speaking).

    But the people that fail to meet objective criteria who aren't financially secure, are below average on the intelligence bellcurve, have anger issues, do not have stable jobs, and are not responsible, are the ones who have many kids.

    Of course, there's the intangible aspect of wanting to have kids, so someone who meets all the objective criteria but doesn't want kids might not make the best parent, but you know what I mean so don't derail this thread.
     
  10. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I am a 3rd year college student and I have to watch out for girls who are already engaged! We are talking about college students who are 18-22 years old and they are already wearing an engagement ring.

    For example... my roommate who was 18 at the time was engaged to his 16yr old g/f. This girl who is now a 4th year student is engaged to a guy who goes to some college ~5hrs away. My one friend who lived next door got engaged in High School and now is in college. A few other people I know well at college were talking about rings and how much they cost.

    To me this is INSANE, they are 18-22yrs old and they are getting engaged. I'm 20yrs old, have had 6-8 different g/fs, and still can't find the right person. The last thought on my mind is "damn I want to settle down and get married".
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I get exactly what you are saying. When I had written that blog I was annoyed because I had been talking amongst people how I can't stand the idea of having kids most of the times. Every single one of them came back with bullshit like "Oh you will!" Sounding all optimistic, like my life is just worthless without having a kid. I hate that mentality. I'll have a kid if I really want to and am ready for it, end of story.
     
  12. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Yeah but not having a kid 'burdening' your life (for lack of a better word) is going to enable you to spend more time focusing on you, your carrier, etc. You won't have anyone but yourself (and possibly an SO) to spend money on - and kids cost a shit ton of money. So this may be why it looks like they'd be the best ones to have kids, but if they would have had children they may not have all of these things you see them with now.

    Plus IWYWB I'm with you, I get pissed when people say "Oh you willl.. you are just young. All guys say that at your age. Etc..." I wanna smack them when they say that.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    i don't want to turn this into a shitstorm... but im going to go ahead and do it...

    Where are you guys finding these girls? Obviously a lot the girls on internet dating sites have kids or whatnot, in real life, not so much. Then again, I do my best to avoid responsible adult circles.
     
  14. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    impressive. you should be very proud of your accomplishments and the challenges you overcame to make it happen.
     
  15. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    :dunno: I don't see to many of them myself.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    There's your answer right there then. I certainly don't troll internet dating sites. Yet a bunch of my young friends are married or engaged, some have or plan to have kids soon. All are between the ages of 22-25
     
  17. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I applaud single mothers; those who don't complain or make their lives hard of course.

    But if a woman chooses to have a child while single, then turns around to complain about it, I don't have any sympathy or respect for them.

    But I believe there are a lot of single mothers out there because men have more room to not have a child. The men don't have to stick around to raise their child, they can just send money. A woman can't force a man to stick around.

    I for one would love to have children, but i won't do so until i'm financially stable, and I'll have one whether I'm with a man or not with a man. I'd prefer to be in a relationship, but if that never happens I'd be fine with being a single mother.
     
  18. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    yeah, i'm finding it near impossible to find new friends that aren't married and raising kids at 24. not saying that married people raising kids are boring, but it's just hard to schedule shit with my friends when they have babies hanging off their tits.
     
  19. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Aquakittie, you are far better person than i. Abortion would've been an easy out for me in that sitution for i have not the strength or wil even at 24 to raise a child alone.
     
  20. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I had 2 classmates from high school get married within the last two years. Both of these people married other people they went to school with, all are from the same small town I am.

    I'm happy for them, because they seem to be in good relationships...but when I heard that they were engaged, then getting married...I was like "what the hell, did I not get the memo? What's the rush?" Oh yeah, I just remembered, my roommate from college got married to his fiance after we graduated. They had already been engaged for a year or so. Not to mention the other friend my age I had in school who had been engaged for a year or 2 with someone who was 2 or 3 years younger than him...but last I heard, they had ended up breaking up.

    It's weird. Getting married straight out of college seems way too quick to me. I still feel that the 20's is the time you should be out dating and meeting people...

    Where the hell did this push for the rush come from?
     
  21. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    I don't plan on having kids until I'm at least 30, for several reasons. One is that a proper parent had to be able to support their child, always, financially, emotionally and mentally, and I won't be ready for that for another 10 years. I really do want kids some day, but I want to do it right, having kids before you know what you're getting in to isn't the best thing in the world. I need to have lived a good chunk of life before I pass on my material/mental possessions to someone else, if you don't have any to pass on then what's the point.
     
  22. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    As much as ai Agree with you, i do think that our MODERN delay to marry is just that, a modern occurance. In our not so distant human history(say 50 years ago), people were marrying intheir teens to raise families in their 20s and be done with child bearing/rearing before they hit 40.

    So i think the pendulum is now starting to swing back... people started waiting till AFTER their careers were set and they were out of college... but then people just started creeping back into the old fashioned style of getting married young again.


    I imagine there are a million sociological factors at play: from the fact that young people are more aware of the world situation at large and feel the need to procreate before it's too late (ie. war and the state of the world) or that sex ed has been pulled out of a lot of schools. Who knows.....


    any way.
    ... it's tough tryign to find younger 20-somethings that aren't married, engaged, pregnant or otherwise already have kids.
     
  23. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I gotta tell ya, I live in a small town, and not having a kid by the age of 22 def puts me in the minority. Having a college degree and seeking higher education pretty much intimidates most guys my age. They're used to the 21 year olds with 2 children working a minimum wage job. I think it comes with the area.
     
  24. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    im sexing one :cool:
     
  25. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i work with 25-30someodd females (ages 19-26), and i'm one of 3 without any kids, and one of two not currently engaged/married/divorced. i stay home more often then they do....most of them are constantly going out clubbing and whatnot.

    personally, what i see happening is absolution of responsibility. having kids no longer means the end of your party days and beginning of adulthood, as out of wedlock pregnancies are accepted, and supported. to perpetuate it, people get the over romanticized image from their friends who have children.
     

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