SRS Valentine's Day - total disaster

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by sapphirekat, Feb 17, 2003.

  1. sapphirekat

    sapphirekat Guest

    I don't really know where to start this thread. I guess I'll start of by saying that I was asked to post this story in here and have decided to do so. I'm 22, female, and have a 28 year old boyfriend. We work together, have known eachother for nearly 2 years, and have been together for 5 months. Anyway, I had Valentine's Day all planned out for my boyfriend and I. I bought him a new TV, brought him lunch, went to Victoria's Secret to get something kind of sexy for that night, made him dinner and he got me, well, nothing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for pity. It's sad to say but I almost knew that my boyfriend was going to forget and that I wouldn't even get so much as a card when he knew everything that I had planned out for that evening. I'm not even trying to say that I was expecting anything extravagant. I just wanted a card and a rose. Something to let me know that he cares about me. I'm not really looking for any replies here. If you would like to say something, however, or if you would like to give me some advice, please do. Like I said before, I'm only posting this because I was asked to and I think I also kind of needed to get this off my chest. :(
     
  2. DFWSR4EVER

    DFWSR4EVER There's Stlil Time to Change the Road You're On

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    perhaps he just isn't a big fan of this hallmark holiday. i know that my g/f is and she insisted that i didnt get her anything (i wrote her a few poems instead). did he ever tell you that he doesnt believe in valentine's day or something like that?
     
  3. Well...

    Him getting you nothing is a pretty shitty thing for him to have (not) done. :confused: :big grin:

    But the fact that he didn't shouldn't make you automatically think that he doesn't care about you. Some people just aren't naturally very thoughtful. I'm not really myself.

    Can i ask, how did you "almost know" your bf was going to forget?
     
  4. sapphirekat

    sapphirekat Guest

    Because he forgets almost everything.
     
  5. Bethdeth

    Bethdeth Guest

    I agree....it's a shitty thing to do.....and not remembering is a cop out.....I bet he never forgets christmas
     
  6. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    yeah. this guy is a complete dumbass with his head in the clouds. EVERYONE knows that you get your GF something for vday.

    Thoughtless would have been a card and flowers. What he did was simply neglectful. I mean i would have some sympathy if he got home after an intense day of work and "D'oh"s about it beeing valentines day adn apologizes, but if you are going to skip valentines day due to moral or ethical objections you damn well better let your GF know way in advance.
     
  7. 330R

    330R New Member

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    i read this and wonder... why the FUCK do i not have a gf??
     
  8. rand0m

    rand0m Guest

    x 49328... ah fuck it... why do I bother agreeing :rolleyes:

    myself and two of my friends are, quite frankly, awesome guys who respect women and have a genuine and strong desire to make some girl really happy. I've been single for 3 years, one's been single for 3.5 and the other for around 6 months.

    And yet women date fucktards.

    I'm not sucked in by the whole hallmark holiday BS by any means, but I would do something that showed I really cared. As I would regularly, not just once a year. I don't need an occasion.

    but meh. what would I know. sorry to hijack :o
     
  9. CarpeDiem21

    CarpeDiem21 Guest

    Better than having In N Out for Valentines. :o
     
  10. :werd:
    Theres a guy i know - (ex) friend of my gf's sister. I've met him briefly a couple of times. He was hitting on my gf a couple of years ago even though he knew she was dating me. :mad:

    Anyway. According to my gf's sister, he has become a junkie and a playa. When she last saw him he had 7 or 8 gf's at the same time and would meet them one after the other at seperate nightclubs on the same night, etc.

    Now as i've said, i've met this guy. And hes very good looking, works out, has a good body, etc. I can see why girls would give him the time of day. It pisses me off though that many girls get taken in by guys like this and wouldn't look at nicer (but undoubtedly uglier) guys that would treat them well.

    thread hijack continued, sorry sapphirekat :o
     
  11. katiebear73

    katiebear73 Guest

    Since I am a girl, I probably shouldn't say this....
    BUt girls can be REALLY STUPID sometimes. They go for guys who they know are going totreat them badly. I don't know why they/we do it.... but there are plenty of nice guys out there who are good looking and know how to treat women.

    As for Saphirekat, you should really tell your bf how you feel. If he isn't going to treat you right, then you can probably do better.
     
  12. katiebear73

    katiebear73 Guest

    I wasn't talking about sapphireket being stupid. We don't know enough about this guy to say that he is a bad guy or not. I do think that she really needs to talk to him and get her feelings out. If he blows her off, then he is the asshole
     
  13. JazzHound

    JazzHound Guest

    Give the guy the benefit of the doubt seeing as they've only been going for 6 months and what she said about him forgetting about everything is too ambiguous. He's either like someone said really isn't a fan of hallmark seasons or just born without a romantic bone in his body. Either way, it atleast deserves some thorough discussions, as all healthy relationships must have.

    Now that you've fufilled your obligation of posting it on here, make it a personal one to have a talk with your beau. If you don't mind the 'change my guy' thing too much, hint at some romantic movies to see if it'll rub off on him. Honestly, it's only been 6 months, better find out now or 10 years down the road with a few kids that you don't/can't love a person like this.
     
  14. katiebear73

    katiebear73 Guest

    Good advice JazzHound
     
  15. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    i don't consider myself a materialistic person, whatsoever. i would've been happy with a card and a rose... or just the card. a card can say so much, and it's thoughtful to know your man picked it out. :)

    hehe, i'm not really big on valentine's day either, but i've only dated one guy during valentine's, and we had only been dating a couple weeks... or maybe a month :dunno:

    anyways, i feel bad for you, yet, there's no way i could ever be with this guy. one of my top pet peeves are people that don't listen. :sad2: if he can't remember things, then he's not worth it!
     
  16. sapphirekat

    sapphirekat Guest

    UPDATE:
    Well, I told my boyfriend how I felt about what happened on Valentines Day and he was completely apologetic. He took me out to dinner on Sunday night, brought me roses on Monday, and when I got sick on Tuesday and Wednesday he took care of me. I agree with JazzHound that it may have been an oversight on his part. Now he knows that Valentine's Day is kind of special to me. I went ahead and marked all of the important dates on his calendar so he'll know ahead of time :)
     
  17. BaZ

    BaZ 2004 ACC Champions

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    valentines day is a made up holiday, stop being gay for it
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2003
  18. Sirris

    Sirris New Member

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    Thats just plain nasty... but works...

    One of my friends did it with her b\f (about two years ago)...

    Now they are getting married.
     
  19. nikkostarr5

    nikkostarr5 New Member

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  20. nikkostarr5

    nikkostarr5 New Member

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    I didnt get anything either. I worked hard and made the boy i like a card, nothing fancy on expessive, just thoughtful I thought. Well he told me several reasons why he didnt do anything, and though i was hurt I guess it's not THAT bad. I dunno. He insists he cares alot, isn't that enough? :o
     
  21. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Guys aren't into remembering or celebrating days as much as girls are. Wedding day ,christmas day, valentines day. We recognize them as seperate days from the rest, but we don't put as fast a special meaning to it, as girls apparently do. Since guys don't understand subtle female signals, it's good that you told him directly what your feelings where, you can also see that he understood you direct and completely. This is something girls should always do when they want something from a guy. Namely 'ask directly' because other signals are far too vague for guys to understand.
     
  22. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Don't forget that attraction physical and otherwise plays a huge component on getting a girlfriend. Simply the fact that you would respect her and worship her and "treat her right" isn't that much of a lure. Well, it's important, but not as overwhelming a factor as you might think.

    This why good-looking assholes often win out over regular guys who can't understand "why she would want him when he treats her so poorly, esp. when I'm just dying to shower attention on her..." Because ain't about that.

    As far as this guy "forgetting" to commemorate V day ... what's he like otherwise? Does he remember you romantically on other days?
     
  23. nikkostarr5

    nikkostarr5 New Member

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    I know guys find this hard to understand, but I don't like to "ask" someone to buy me something or do something nice for me. It takes the entire purpose out of it. If I have to ask, I might as well have done it myself. It's just about a girl wanting to feel special, loved, or at least know that the guy she is with is thinking about her.
     
  24. bottomline

    bottomline Guest

    Sorry to sound harsh, but I wouldn't be with a girl that did that to me...

    I don't know why you would put up with it...
     
  25. wavejumper

    wavejumper Guest

    I am sorry about what happned. He should have gotten you something. Last year my wife and I were going to celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. I of course forgot. I am a loser what can I say. (that was july 16th) Then in August I forgot her birthday. ( it was her 23rd.) I made sure I didn't forget VD. What I am trying to say here is that people forget. I know they let us down and it hurts, but some stuff you just shrug off as oh they forgot.

    They don't love us any less.

    And hey the next big event you are almost guarnteed to get something great.
     

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