Vag, I have a friend with an ex...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by HuskiRuski, Dec 31, 2007.

  1. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    I swear i'm not talking about myself, even though I'm in a similar situation as this friend. we'll call him Fred.

    He and his ex, call her Wilma, broke up about 2 weeks ago because they were in a long distance relationship year-round and had been growing apart recently. It was a mutual breakup, but he brought it up.

    Since the breakup, Wilma has been calling Fred nearly every night and sending him really pathetic and depressing voicemails and text messages pleading for them to get back together.

    Fred doesn't want to get back together with this girl, but he still cares about her a lot and hates to see her in this much pain, so he picks up his phone, calls her, and tries to console her (for hours).

    I tell Fred that he needs to stop talking to Wilma, but he says that he can't be "that mean" and he can't bear "to see her that way." So every day they talk, and it's really blocking him from completely getting over her.

    So my question is: how insistent should I be, as a friend to Fred, in telling him to stop talking to her. I'm at the point where I've talked to him pretty forcefully to stop calling her, but he won't listen. How do I tell him to ignore this girl for awhile so that they can get over each other?
     
  2. noob.

    noob. New Member

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    Sounds like you've told him your opinion, but "Fred" is going to do what he wants, and you can't stop him.
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    yea id let him do his own thing, but i would point out that if you were the one who got dumped, would you rather have a clean break or a drawn out breakup
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Jesus Christ. Yet another person who doesn't get it. He's not a kid, you aren't his dad. You can't tell him to do/make him do squat.

    You've given your opinion and advice. That's all you can do.

    Let it go. It's his life, he's going to do what he wants.
     
  5. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    . It's his choice to make. You voice your opinion and tell him if he continues to talk to her he's not going to get over her. That's it, you can't make him stop talking to her though, that's his decision and it's his life. Leave him alone before he tells you to butt out himself.
     
  6. Mr. Bungle

    Mr. Bungle *lube'n up the shock paddles*

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    Change number lol...
     
  7. fray

    fray New Member

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    his choice, but possibly pointing out some similar situation will help him put it in perspective. (example: babies cry when you put them down to nap, but you can't pick them up every time or they will always cry. you have to leave them alone and let them comfort themselves. ... she is the baby.)
     
  8. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    i've already compared his situation to mine, which is very similar. and i've told him keeping contact between me any my ex to a minimum has really helped to reduced drama and made it easier for me to start to get over her.

    he still won't listen though. i guess he's just going to have to learn on his own.
     
  9. fray

    fray New Member

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    I don't think you need to tell him why he should stay away from her, but why her whining != her in immense pain and despair, but rather her used to whining helping to solve her problem, so relying on that.

    but again...good luck conveying that...
     

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