Vag crew I have hit a dead end

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by LS1>, Dec 26, 2008.

  1. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    I feel like I have hit a dead end. I have dated over 20 girls this year. I had a few hopeful prospects and two of them got me into the friendzone. I am going to kinda jump around here because I have a lot on my mind.

    Last night I had a convo with my cousin and she made it clear to me that I was over analyzing women and my relationships with them. I have had plenty of bad things happen in my past relationships no doubt. I look and reflect on the things that have happened and try to pick out the signs. If I see someone with the same traits I cut them out. I don't really see the problem with that until now.

    Now background on who I have connected with most this year have been girls that just broke up with the typical douchbag. 3 of the 4 had bad breakups with the "I still love him" bullshit that I just ignore hearing.

    Number 4 started out normal but then went crazy after a month of dating. Calling, texting emailing and wanting to just talk all night long. I could not deal with it and had to cut that one way they hell out of my life.

    Two of them I was very clear with that I had that special feeling for. One of them was always telling me she was trying to figure out how to cut her ex out of her life as to not hurt his feelings. Of course a few months later that became "He is really trying now" and "Your my best friend now" Bullshit....

    The other we dated for a few months and things were laid back and going pretty good. No pressure but she was happy being single yet attached to me if that makes any sense. Her Bday rolls around and bam next thing she is telling me is OMG I am so happy we are back together. WTF! With her I pretty much feel like I wasted my time and money and my feelings are hurt yes. I think I channel my feelings for her into the fact I made the sacrifice of time and money for her to make myself feel better.

    The other female I connected with was fun but she had the I want to fuck as many men as I can attitude. Great terrific I get my dick wet but nothing else.

    So I have noticed my trend as of 2008 of connecting with women that are fresh off a breakup. My last long term relationship was a girl just off a breakup and that go me nowhere. So here I am last week meeting yet another chick at a bar who tells me she just broke up. Great I get her number and for some reason go out with her. Nice girl thus far but I know I am setting myself up for fail.

    I have always been that approach anyone type of person and my friends have always seen that. I was with some guys from work two weeks ago at a club and two of them asked me why I was just standing around not having a good time. I was having a good time relaxing to the music and that great intoxicating beverage. As for the women I just don't want to try any more. I find myself attracted to Hot women but only hot women that are emotionally dependent or chemically imbalanced. Why are the Hot women very single women that I don't connect with not as appealing as the fresh breakup chicks?

    I don't think I will ever be able to have a good dating history until I figure this out. Its a trend that I seem to follow and I must break it if I am ever going to be happy. Like I said I have noticed my own trend but having it brought up by my cousin really struck it home. Even before last nights convo myself thinking about it has been making me depressed.

    So what does OT think? What do I need to do to change my way of thinking? Better yet what happened to me in my past that has programmed me like this? :sadwavey:

    Disclaimer: This post is all random things going on in my head. Some or None of it may make any sense. Also no spell check or grammar police. I am sure this is full of typing errors.
     
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Where exactly are you meeting these girls? You said you met the one at a bar...what about the others?
     
  3. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    bars, nightclubs just being out and a few from friends of friends. I have had limited luck with match.com ect. Had a few dates tho one girl had herps of match so strike her from my list.
     
  4. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    That's probably a lot of your problem right there.

    First of all, it's a RARE thing to find a girl at a bar who doesn't have some sort of baggage.

    A nightclub isn't so bad, but it's still a certain type of people that go there (usually a younger, and dare I say it, more immature crowd).

    Shake it up a bit and try doing something different and see if you can meet a better quality girl.

    Bars and nightclubs are like MAGNETS for girls who are fresh out of relationships.
     
  5. RebootEnzo

    RebootEnzo New Member

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    Why do you say a night club is better than a bar?
     
  6. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    yeah i dont really get that one either.. maybe bars/nightclubs are different where viper is than they are where i'm at in hollywood...

    bars actually seem to be where the cooler girls hang out, nightclubs are for finding girls that are either hott and know it or are ugly and try too hard... atleast from my experience.
     
  7. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Find different ways to meet women besides bars, nightclubs, and online dating sites. That really isn't where the quality women are hanging out at.
     
  8. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    I totally Fucked up my thread title. Yes yes I have been drinking. Not enough tho!
     
  9. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    i really dont agree, but whatever too tired to get into the reasoning why.. maybe tomorrow.
     
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    The point isn't necessarily that you can't find a quality woman at a bar or a night club (that's an arguement for another thread).

    The point is that THIS guy in THIS thread keeps meeting the same type of woman at the same types of places. So if he wants to meet a DIFFERENT type of woman, he should try a DIFFERENT place.
     
  11. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    You guys are seriously wondering why Viper said nightclubs are better than bars to get girls? He said it for the same rason that he says anything: he doesn't know what he's talking about (at all) but likes to pretend that he does.

    As for Viper's post that girls in bars come with baggage: WTF?????? ALL hot girls go to bars dude, sorry to tell you, at least once in a while. And yes, almost all girls come with baggage, but that's far from the point that you are trying to make.

    As for the OP, how many of those girls that you dated did you HAVE SEX with?

    Also, you just have to realize that probably no more than about 1% of girls that you meet will be really really good for you. By 1% I am not exaggerating, I mean literally probably one in a hundred girls or so who you meet will be girls you really genuinely want to date longterm. (If you have high standards.) So I wouldn't say there's anything necessarily wrong with you if you haven't found something in just 20 girls. You can take the much-worn path and just settle for a decent girl that you can tolerate and date and wait a few months/years til it inevitably fails because the costs are way greater than the benefits.
     
  12. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I actually kind of agree with this. Normal people, especially under 25 go to bars and clubs to have a good time. It doesn't immediately mean they are going to have issues
     
  13. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    this post is 100% correct
     
  14. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    To make any generalization about a bar/club you'd have to have gone to enough to be comfortable making that statement.

    And I know obviously everyone who would make those generalizations is a REALLY amazing person with NO baggage and I'd LOVE to run into you at a club while I'm getting my fist pump on.

    Then again, you ARE at a bar/club. And like you say, people there suck. So you must suck. Or are you the self-aware, conscious observer while everyone else is just a specimen to marvel at? And, obviously, the only normal one in there. Like a scientist in a lab? Or, maybe, just maybe, there are some people in there like you who want to meet new people but are failing at an early stage over and over.

    Hey, a lot of people who hate on bars and clubs are simply afraid of them.
     
  15. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    TS, just give what I say a shot. I shouldn't have made that statement about bars/nightclubs because it'll probably turn your thread into a clusterfuck and the actual advice I gave you will get lost in it, which:

    TRY MEETING GIRLS SOMEWHERE ELSE, JUST TO SHAKE THINGS UP.

    If you don't meet a higher quality girl somewhere else, then you can write me off as an idiot and go about your business as usually.

    What do you have to lose?
     
  16. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I am probably the only person here who says that they DON'T know what they are talking about most of the time and that I'm not some dating guru. Don't get why you think I "pretend" to know what I am talking about. I openly admit that I don't. :rofl: Fuckhead.
     
  17. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :bowrofl: There's not some secret unknown place where 'all the hot chicks' go to drink and hang out and hook up with guys.

    You can def find good girls at nightclubs and bars, there's more shit to weed through but they are there.

    And to the OP it sounds like you are a fixer. Sounds like you might have some sort of insecurity and you prey on girls who are broken so you can save the day and most importantly so they won't notice your insecurity.
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    best places to meet girls other than bar and clubs:

    wal-mart

    any grocery store

    any bookstore

    funky downtown shops
     
  19. chizzle

    chizzle New Member

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    Coooofffffeeee shops.

    Filter through the hippies/hipsters/trend whores/etc. and you'll find some quality wimmenz. Also depends on the neighborhood too.
     
  20. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Way ahead of you :mamoru:

    I've met great girls at bars and pubs with no hangups or baggage. But just as many with. But yeah, if you're not getting any luck there, try elsewhere, but don't just write the bar scene off
     
  21. fray

    fray New Member

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    :rofl: :rofl:

    You drive me crazy, but this was very funny.
     
  22. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    .

    and lol @ all of you who say decent girls go out drinking. The only thing going out to a bar means, is that the girl likes to go out drinking, which i enjoy. That means a girl at the bar is already compatible in a significant way. Good lucking with your "quality" women who freaks out if you wanna have some beers.
     
  23. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I wasn't telling him to write off the bar scene. :rofl: But personally, I wouldn't want to depend on the bar scene as my only source of meeting women. Because, despite what you guys say, there are way more head case, just broken up with their boyfriend, type of girls at a bar than there are quality girls. The quality girls tend to be there with their boyfriends. Which, oh yeah I forgot this is the Vag...
     
  24. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i hear there are nice girls at church :)
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Church girls are actually far worse than any girl you can find at a bar. :rofl:
     

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