ups and downs

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by radfad88, Sep 17, 2008.

  1. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    Most of you guys already know the story behind me and my SO. We've been together about a year, broke up a few weeks ago (only for a week). During that week I went on a couple of dates with another guy (13 years older than me, really nice guy, date went well). My boyfriend and I got back together because we both really, really missed each other and were having a really hard time with the breakup.

    Things have been going relatively well until Sunday night. We've both been so stressed about school/work lately that in the last week we've seen each other for about 1 hour in total. Sunday night came along and we both had Monday off, so we were talking about hanging out the next day. This conversation led to a 2 hour fight because I simply asked him to give me an approximate time that he wanted to get together on Monday. To him, giving a time is "making an appointment" and you only make appointments for things you consider a chore (???). To me, making plans to meet your girlfriend just shows that it's a priority to you, and that you're designating that time to spend with your SO.

    Anyways, that conversation snowballed into us fighting about not having any time for each other, and our drastically different views about the military. I'm really angry that he can't support me in one of the biggest choices I've made about my life thus far. He, on the other hand, says it's "just my job" and that I shouldn't be upset that he "doesn't like the company I work for".

    We finally got off the phone and went to bed around 1:30, the next day we got together at 5 after we were done w/ everything we had to do and had a really great time on our date. We went out to eat at our favorite restaurant, then went on a walk down a nature trail, and finally I slept over at his house. He woke me up this morning with a kiss and had breakfast made for me and he apologized for being so mean the night before during out fight and I went home feeling happy.

    I'm still just so confused... I know that relationships are supposed to take work, but this feeling is crazy. We're either hot or cold. We want to rip each other's heads off one day and the next we can't get enough of each other. Is this normal? He's the only person that can make me feel SO happy and SO miserable in the same day...
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You really need to dump this guy for good. It's for the best for you.
     
  3. CoffinRX2

    CoffinRX2 New Member

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    If he cannot support the choice you have made with the military/your career, then I'd believe you really need to sit down and think this relationship through. Military is not really something you can just quit and walk away from.

    It will only get worse from here
     
  4. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    I don't want to quit. I'm happy with my decision, although it is going to be really tough (bootcamp mainly) and I need my boyfriend to be here for me. blah.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That's a horribly sad reason to stay in a relationship with that guy.

    I'm by no means the person who says "my bf and I never fight, our relationship is so perfect!" :hsugh: But we never EVER fight as much or about the important things you and he fight about.

    If you have a bf who doesn't support you and your decisions prepare for a shitty relatiionship. You'd be much better off dumping him and focusing on yourself and figuring out why you are dependent on him or any man.
     
  6. whatever

    whatever OT Supporter

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    if you're gone why does it matter where he is and or the idea of him is...
     
  7. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    No no, I think you misunderstood. What I mean by that is, if I have a boyfriend, I expect him to be there for me and to support me in this. I'm not saying that I NEED a man, I just NEED him to be supportive if he's going to be in my life... and I'm not getting that from him.
     
  8. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    ? I'm not gone (yet) but I'm getting ready to leave and I still have to do military stuff between now and then (drills one weekend/month) so I'd like to come home and have him be receptive and not just bash the army everytime it's brought up in conversation.
     
  9. CoffinRX2

    CoffinRX2 New Member

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    Sorry I wasnt implying that you wanted to quit, and wasnt happy. More along the lines that he needs to be able to understand that, you've made this decision for the long haul, and he needs to be able to support you for whole time you are in the military, and be happy for you. ...... if not? its going to be very hard
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ahhh ok, well the point still stands, you need someone who will stand by you and support you. He is a boy, not a man. You two are not ready or most likely capable of an adult long-lasting relationship just yet.

    If I decided right now that I wanted to join the National Guard and it was something I loved I know 100% my bf would support me and not act like a selfish brat and start fights out of everything (which is what he is doing). Your relationship is like a sinking ship and I don't see it getting any better. I still think you'd be better off dumping him, being alone and going to the Guard and worrying about yourself.
     
  11. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    If he's not supportive of you joining the military it's never going to work.
     
  12. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    All the advice you need is in your last thread about him.
     
  13. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    I don't know what branch you are joining in the military, but from my experience, it tends to change people. He might not like that, or he might just not like the idea of you in the military(i personally don't like the idea of ANYONE I know joining the military). But I don't know what his feelings are, and i just have a guess.


    I think you need to move on. You guys seem to have been rocky for awhile, and regular fighting like that isn't good, and from what I know, extreme highs and extreme lows in relationships where it just shifts from one to another is not a healthy one.
     
  14. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    .

    didn't even bother reading this one
     
  15. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :uh: what exactly were you expecting to happen when you broke up? It's a breakup, not a party. You are supposed to be sad and miss each other for awhile, that's normal... It doesn't mean you jump right back into a failed relationship because you can't deal with a week apart. You need to learn how to be on your own again and that takes more than a week.

    Sure it's normal... if you keep going back to a relationship with a person who isn't right for you. Please don't become one of those people like that tubachris dude that spends months/years making threads about how unhappy you are in this relationship instead of doing what you know is right and just ending it. It's going to take time to get over him but that doesn't mean that breaking up is the wrong choice. All you are doing right now is avoiding the pain by putting it off until later.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    The opposing views on your career path and time management are enough to warrant a breakup.

    Planners and non-planners do not mix well.

    And please, please, please do not be that girl that is part of a couple that constantly fights, breaks up, and gets back together. I saw that so much in college, had a friend who went through it...the breakups would only last a few days before she missed him too much and took him back.

    Breakups are HARD. It's sucky, but it's the truth.
     
  18. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    I'd have to agree. I haven't read anything about your breakup prior to writing this post, so my response is based solely on this thread. It seems he was nit-picking at spending time together just to be a pain. Its obvious that designating time for your SO is NOT something that should be view as "making an appointment" or a "chore." Also, with you joining the military, its only going to get worse if he doesnt support you 100%. I think its time to part ways with him, good luck
     
  19. MrMakaveli

    MrMakaveli Loyal to the game

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    If he's not supportive now.. before you have even gone away to bootcamp, just imagine how impressed he'll be when you are posted in Africa or Japan (I dont know what branch of the service you are joining)
     

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