Well I figured i'd update you guys since i bitch on here so much about my problems. I've decided college isn't right for me and that I would do much better trying to open a business then work in a coperate enviorment. I'm still EXTREMELY nervous about the future but its becoming a little better since I have some stuff figured out. I'm going to start a petwatching business while I finish up high school and hopefully that goes well I've been dealing with my deep depression, it still bothers me but its not as bad as it was. I had a really bad night after I quit my job where I wanted to hang my self but since then i've straightened out. I still kind of rather be gone then alive because its easier. But anyway after high school I'm thinking of trying to start a service business like mowing lawns, cleaning windows, painting, something like that because I personally think its a booming business here in florida. I really would like to leave the state but I can live here for free with my parents until I get a business going. I quit my job that I was unhappy at and stoped smoking pot. Now I'm currently looking for a girl friend. Its hard to get out of depression when you lived like this for your whole life but its possible. Thanks for your help and I will update you guys.