This one: http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1600171&page=1&pp=25 Things aren't any different. I've told her how much I love her and all that good stuff women like to hear. I've also told her that her lackadasical attitude towards our sex life makes me feel rejected. She claims she understands what I'm saying, but still doesn't make an effort to change things. Sure... I can guilt her into having sex once or twice a week. But she's still not up for experimentation. She's still not initiating sex. She still comes to bed in cotton panties and one of my oversize t-shirts. Almost like a "I'll let you fuck me, but I'm not putting any effort into it, and don't expect it either" attitude. I even went so far as to pick up a couple books on the subject of sexuality. One of which was an erotic massage manual. The other is "Supersex" by Tracey Cox (if you're on this board, you MUST get this book... ). The massage book I found at B&N the other night and we sat down with it, and worked all the way through the various "steps". Her being her, it was all about her being massaged. When that was done she pretty much laid there while I fucked her, then she showered, and went to bed. Then all weekend had to remind me that "she was nice to me on Friday". Nice my ass... it was another obligitory lay down and spread the legs to keep me quiet fuck. The other book arrived last night. Lots of good relationship stuff intertwined with some wonderfully sexy ideas. I thumbed through it yesterday evening, reading stuff I found amusing to her, and NOTHING sparked an interest. Not the section on oral sex, or the perfect striptease, or the quote that made me buy the book: "As a woman, when you're married, you don't have to worry about being slutty. You DO have to worry about being boring." Tracey has this idea that just about all men are a bit deviant, and as a wife, a woman should do whatever it takes to keep a guy happy sexually. There's even a few sections on dealing with the gooey remains of a handjob ("You're not 16 anymore. It's semen. Get over it and don't make a spectacle of it") But she isn't interested in any of it. We're going on vacation next week. I've entertained the idea of just moving into the spare bedroom when we get back. I certainly don't need "pity" sex or "I'm doing this so you'll quit complaining" sex. And I'm tired of dealing with the rejection. I do love her and love our life together, but if something doesn't change, I feel I'm going to become bitter and more angry towards her. I think moving out of the bedroom for a while would send out a more obvious message than me trying to communicate verbally what I'm feeling. After all, take away our once a week half hour sex sessions, and we're basically roommates who cuddle a lot. May as well live like roommates.