SRS Unwanted abortion. (anonymous thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Aug 11, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Let me start of by giving alittle background information. I'm 21, she is is 20. We had been going out for about six months. We had the talks about what would happen if she got pregnant and, she decided that was ok with her. Well, in a couple months ago I had found some texts that she had been sending to another guy. When I confronted her, we got into quite a large argument. That was the begining to the end. A few days after that we found out that she was pregnant. We were both happy at first. She was more apprehensive than I was though. I know its true becasue I saw the test. Well, she asked if things were going to go back to normal.

    I told her after telling me "if you were to stop talking to me tomorrow I would be fine" it will take a little bit for me to be ok with it. In the mean time, I went on a date with someone else. She said that was fine, and told me she had a dr appointment for the baby. A few days after the appointment, I get a text "nothings how it should be, doesn't look good". Two weeks of me stressing every day came to an end,

    when I learn that she had gotten an abortion. When I asked her why, she said she just hated me that much. She hated the thought of part of me inside of her. "and as for you taking full custody, I would rather it be with god than you". After telling me on an almost daily basis I was going to be a great dad.

    I had finally gotten completely used to the idea of it, and she made the decision she made. I have been physically sick, depressed, moody, I don't know how to feel. Has anyone ever had to deal with something like this before?
     
  2. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    I tried to comeup with the words to be supportive...but at your ages and maturity levels that outcome was probably for the best.
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    call me an ass, but she did you a favor.

    of course the abortion is sad, but not having her in your life for the next 18 years was a gift. the last time you talk to her, use those words. then never interact with her again.
     
  4. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    This.

    And I hate to say it, but because it is HER body, it is essentiall HER choice - legally - as to whether or not she chose to carry the pregnancy to term or not. As unfair as some men may find it, it is not their decision to make - ever.

    But yeah, I agree w/7960. She did you a favor.
     
  5. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Werd.

    She sounds like a fucking horrible person.
     
  6. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    of course it's her body and her decision, but that doesn't invalidate his feelings about the whole thing.
     
  7. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    No, it doesn't. But at the same time, if she was uncaring enough to do it behind his back, he should be greatful she did it.
     
  8. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    This.

    I think I'd rather she done this than have to deal with a shitheel like that for the next eighteen years. She seems like the type, had she went ahead with the pregnancy, who would disappear for five or six years and then pop back into the OP's life demanding back child support and then continue to be a shrill shrieking shrew for years to come.

    OP, count your blessings. She did you a HUGE favor here. You will never have to deal with her again.
     
  9. zolonel

    zolonel Active Member

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    dude you are so lucky. seriously.

    just be happy.
     
  10. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    if she was texting/flirting/fucking another dude (and i know that is just a guess, but probably not a huge one), how can you even be sure that it was your kid?
     
  11. Nite_Lilly

    Nite_Lilly Member

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    I'm sorry for your loss. It's a shame that humans can reproduce way before they are emotionally or intellectually prepared to be good mates or parents. Next time it's up to you to use protection to prevent another emotional event like this.
     
  12. zolonel

    zolonel Active Member

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    oh yeah, i meant to ask this...
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The more I think about, the logical side of me agrees with all of you about not having her in my life. Still hurts though. I found out how she payed for it too. Told her ex she wanted to get back together, asked him for the money then stopped speaking to him, then announced she was in love with someone else. Scammed him for the money, even though she makes more than enough to cover the cost. She tried to lie to myself and all of OUR friends that she had a miscarriage. I finally found the truth and asked her, her reply was "yea I did it. So?". I don't think I would want my child around someone like that anyways.
     
  14. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The dates all matched up, from when conception occurred. We were on vacation. We had discussed while we were together having kids, she said she saw how I was with our friends children, and that since both of us were stable and everything seemed to be going well.... I know it was stupid to agree when we were not married. She was actually pregnant at the time of the break-up, we just didn't know it yet. The main reason we broke up was becasue she started flirting with someone at a party we were at. Those two are actually together now. That in itself is proving shitty because he is a roomate of one of my friends, the place where we all usually get together. Talk about awkward. I know that in the end it was her decision, I just wish she wouldn't have strung me along for two months, and then told me a few days before my birthday what she had done. I actually found out from her ex, the one she scammed for the money, and when I asked her she admitted to it. And told me that "the result would have been different if you would have stopped being selfish and gone out with me, I'm not the selfish one, you are." She also said it wasn't her fault she gets like that with guys when she drinks, its mine becasue I go and talk to people other than her.
     
  15. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    now I 100% agree with the people that say she would have made your life a living hell had she carried out the full term of the pregnancy.

    It is heartbreaking that you were willing to care for and love your child and the child was denied this, but it is over and there is nothing you can do to bring your child back. You will have to find some way to make peace with yourself and to keep happiness in your life, despite this incident. At least you can be consoled in the fact that this woman does not have the opportunity to take advantage of you for the next 18 years. Also, the child will not have to grow up being thrown from parent to parent and dealing with the inevitable drama between the two of you.
     
  16. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    How can you possibly be stable at the ages of 20 and 21? Had you both established your careers? Been through secondary education?
     
  17. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    She did you a favor, and since she's religious remind her that she murdered someone and is going to burn in hell. She seems like a vindictive bitch you may as well inflict a little emotional trauma. Abortions tend to be a sensitive topic for women ;)
     
  18. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    I'm 21 and I've been stable ever since I moved out at 18.

    Secondary education doesn't make you stable.
     
  19. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    thats what we all think/thought

    trust me, people do the most growing/maturing from 18-25. i just turned 25 and i have a LONG way to go.

    the minute you realize you know nothing is when you finally know something.
     
  20. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    If you know you know nothing, doesn't that mean you know something? ;)

    edit: that didn't come out right I just ended up re-stating what you said :/
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2009
  21. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    you would think that
     
  22. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    not to knock you at all, but the type of stability you need to raise a baby and the type of stability you need to survive on your own at 21 are two different things. Ive been out on my own since 20 and never had an issue with debt, paying bills, having food on the table, etc, but its only very recently that i have realized what being stable enough for a baby truly means. granted, we all get to that place at different times in life, but i would venture to guess that the poster and his gf were not there yet, based on what he said. you may be a different story, though probably rare
     
  23. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    she did you a favor. Neither of you are ready for parenthood, and it doesn't look like you two are staying together. Be happy she was smart enough to recognize that
     
  24. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    secondary education doesn't have to be college, but without a degree or a trade, you'll be hard pressed to pay for a child
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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