Unexpected Crushing

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by radfad88, Oct 24, 2008.

  1. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,531
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    So, long story short I think that my boyfriend's best friend has a crush on me.

    He and his girlfriend of two years broke up about a couple of months or so ago and I've kind of taken him under my wing to try and help him get over her. He's a really sweet guy who for lack of any other reason simply has no "game". He's cute, really funny and possibly one of the most genuinely intelligent guys I've met in a really long time (that's why he and my boyfriend get along so well), but he lacks the confidence to get back in there and meet some new girls.

    In any case, we've been spending a LOT of time together lately because of various circumstances (he parks his car at our house bc it's close to campus, he comes over everyday either to hang out with me or my roommate, I also see him at my boyfriend's house just about every day, and we now work together) and we no doubt get along better than most anyone else I know here. A couple of weeks ago I introduced him to a girl I know thinking that they might hit it off. They did and she really liked him (I told him this), but he waited WAY too long to make any kind of move and basically friend zoned himself. When he finally did try to kiss her she'd already made up her mind to be friends (blah).

    Well the reason I say I think he likes me is because I'm usually a pretty good assesor of such things and the other night we went to a bonfire together (my boyfriend had to work so we just went w/o him) and I got serious flirtation vibes from him all night long. The next day I got an honesty box message saying something that really only my boyfriend or he could've written (just sounds like something only they would say, because they use similar "language"), then when I responded the anonomous person wrote "After spending a lot of time together, I'm just coming to terms that I have a serious crush on you." :eek3: I thought there was a slight chance it could have been my boyfriend, but he doesn't ever go on Facebook and doesn't even have a computer at home, plus, I checked and he doesn't have the honesty box application. When I asked him if he'd written anything to me, he said he didn't know what Honesty Box was. The only person I can think that I've been spending a lot of time with is his friend, and that message is like :nono:.


    I sent him a reply saying simply "If you know me well enough to have developed a crush on me, you must know that I have a boyfriend."

    Now I'm not sure what to do, should I back off and stop hanging out with him as much? It would be hard to do considering that we see each other so much and that I honestly do enjoy spending time with him. I do admit that I'm a natural flirt (my boyfriend recognises this and is thank god accepting of that fact), but I don't want to give him the wrong idea about our friendship. Honestly, if I met him at some other time in some other circumstances, I might have had interest in him too, but the case is he's my boyfriend's friend and it just won't/can't happen.


    BLAH. This was mainly a big rant but I'd like your input on it... have any of you experienced similar situations? How'd you handle it?
     
  2. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    21,652
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    You can still see / hang out with him but not nearly as much as you have been. Before my girlfriend and I were going out (I was heavily interested in her) I was hanging out with her best friend fairly often. For some reason or another for a couple of weeks my other friends and I had really conflicting work schedules and this girl was always available to hang out. We never did anything but she was definitely interested for a while. I started to recognize this and cut way back on seeing her (when my now girlfriend) wasn't around.

    The point is you don't need to get this guy entirely out of your life, but you absolutely have to see him less often. Things like the boyfriend comment are probably a good thing. You need to be more conscious of how often you're flirting because the guy may have thought you were losing interest in your BF and gaining interest in him.
     
  3. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,531
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga

    hm, not sure if that's the best idea... they have a pretty good friendship and he did it anonymously, possibly just to get it off his chest :dunno:. I wouldn't want to cause a stir since he hasn't done anything technically wrong (he hasn't made a move or anything ya know).
     
  4. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    20,543
    Likes Received:
    0
    :ugh:

    What, that she thinks his best friend is crushing on her? Jesus, let him have a fucking crush... seems innocent enough at this point. If he makes a move, then YES, tell him, but jesus... tell him over something that might not even BE from him?
     
  5. [-]

    [-] Guest

    Dot lol.
     
  6. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,057
    Likes Received:
    0
    :rofl: THIS IS WHY I REMOVED MY HONESTY BOX. either weird sex confessions or eloquently worded insults. but anyway, i'd pretend that i didn't know it was him and go about business as usual. his crush will probably just die out since it's not likely he'd try to elevate it and risk his friendship. in the meantime, definitely distance yourself from him and cut back on behavior you think he might interpret as flirtatious.
     
  7. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    wtf is an honesty box
     
  8. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,057
    Likes Received:
    0
    awful awful facebook feature where anyone who has access to your page can anonymously tell you exactly what they think of you. :noes:
     
  9. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,531
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    thing on facebook where you can send messages to people and all they know is A. you're their friend on FB, and B. They're male or female.
     
  10. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,057
    Likes Received:
    0
    actually they don't have to be you friend, they just need to be able to access your page.
     
  11. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,531
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    Well people can't access my page unless they're my friend, so, by deduction, people who write in my HB are always my FB friends.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    i didn't even read the first post.

    Were you leading him on?
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    It's just a crush... what's the big deal? :dunno:
     
  14. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    971
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern NJ

    .
    Anything more comes of it then say something to the b/f...
     
  15. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,531
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    I'm a flirtatious person by nature so I can't give a straight "no" to this question. I wasn't purposefully doing it for sure, and I was making a genuine effort to hook him up with one of my friends (which he fucked up, read the OP). We also just spend a lot of time together because we have similar friends/schedules and work together.
     
  16. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2007
    Messages:
    5,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    I think you should bring it up non-directly with this 'friend'. Somehow dodge accusing him of doing it, but bring it up in almost the form of a question. He'll either come out and say how he feels, or play it off nervously.. which you can pick up on.

    If it is him, he's not as genuine as a person as you may think.
     
  17. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    Why would you want him to dump her, what has she done?
     
  18. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    7,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    This is easy, like extremely easy. Tell him you are not interested and if he keeps pushing, then cut him off completely. Tell your BF and get him to help a little if needed. Best friends do not hit on each others GFs, so this should not have even started to begin with.
     
  19. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,531
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    Well that definitely wouldn't work. I work with him (often times we have to close together and it's just the two of us, maybe one other person on the weekend). He's my boyfriend's best friend and also hangs out with my roommate on a pretty much daily basis.

    He hasn't really been "pushing" anything since I'm not even 100% sure it's him that wrote it, and it was just an anonymous FB post. Hopefully my comment about having a boyfriend will deter any further communication about this "crush".
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,817
    Likes Received:
    535
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Yeah pretty much. Plus she whipped out the whole "If I had met him at any other time when I was single..." spiel too.
     
  21. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    talk to him about it. also limit the amount of time you spend alone with him.
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Someone's giving you raisins in return for you being a dick? :mamoru:
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    That's what I figured.

    A lot of girls are like "teehee, I have no idea why he has a crush on me" despite being super flirtatious.

    In this post I'm not saying it's bad to be flirtatious, but you have to be aware of your actions and then not act surprised when something happens.
     
  24. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    to be fair, if I guy is crushing on a girl, he will blow the LITTLEST signs of interest way out of proportion
     
  25. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,959
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    :werd: i thought radfad wanted me because she quoted and replied to one of my posts.
     

Share This Page