SRS Unconventional g/f problem.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Jas0n, Mar 3, 2006.

  1. Jas0n

    Jas0n Антихрист

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    Alright so our relationship is fine, all is well, 'cept for one thing. We're both in college, and she's pretty active (her mom got her started early; now it comes naturally to her with no problem). She's so active (president of Rotaract, etc) that she got invited to a "Women as Global Leaders" seminar. In fucking Abu Dhabi.

    Intellectually, I can accept that Abu Dhabi is a modern city full of relatively western people -- failing that, people there are generally said to not be hostile to western culture (and, more importantly, people) like so many other countries in the neighborhood. And I'm thrilled that she's got such a fantastic opportunity.

    On the other hand, the thought of her hopping on-board an airplane and flying to the fuckin' Middle East with a bunch of other college girls ... just sounds like a set-up for a seriously disgusting tragedy.

    Part of the problem, I think, is with the way my mind unfortunately works: quickly, violently, and full of really sick images and ideas. On one hand she's got a great opportunity -- on the other, I'm making a LONG list of all the terribly tragic, hateful, repulsive shit that could theoretically happen.

    It rubs off. I can't help but think about this BAD shit when the topic of this trip comes up in conversation. And it ruins my day. I can't help but thinking about all these awful things; I get all pissed off, can't hold together the conversation. And actually find myself getting angry with her. I do NOT express that, though she can tell I'm upset at something. That drags her down, and then we're both pissed off for no rational reason.

    So what do I hope will come of this post? First of all, I'm hoping someone can say something positive about the UAE. It'd really help to hear from someone who's in or has been to Abu Dhabi, and can say "it's cool here, don't worry." (Fucking don't lie to me though.) Second, can someone advise me as to how to cope with all these terrifically negative thoughts that come up involuntarily? Is there some way to beat back an overactive imagination?

    This is pissing me off REAL bad. Her plane leaves in under a week, and I don't want her next several days here to be miserable because mine are. Thanks in advance, OT Asylum.
     
  2. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Jas, I pm'ed you, friend. :)
     
  3. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    I think it is a good opportunity for your g/f. I'd do it. If something bad is going to happen, it's going to happen and there isn't anything you can do about...Fate works that way.
    I am sure that you have probably cautioned your g/f ad nauseum about the dangers she may possibly be facing. She sounds like a smart girl and I am am fairly sure she is cognizant of what could happen in terms of bad things.
    Maybe, just maybe, something good will come out of her going and I hope that something positive comes out of all of this.
    Try and be a bit more positive, don't let your imagination run away with you, you'll only cause yourself an early coronary.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    There's nothing wrong with the trip to the UAE, especially as she's going as an invited guest at this conference.

    You're projecting a lot of your own issues onto it, and rationalizing it with "facts" that Abu Dhabi is a scary, dangerous place where almost 'anything' could happen.

    Doubtful.

    The only thing that's really scary and dangerous is your perceived need for control.
     
  5. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Jas, I pm'ed you again. PLEASE let me know if you don't get THAT one either.
    Sorry about that. I could swear the last one went through fine......hmmmmm.....
     
  6. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Really the odds of something happening are like winning the lottery. There's only a slightly bigger chance of something happening if she was still in the U.S. The time will pass by, don't worry, just think happy thoughts ;)
     
  7. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Express your concerns & fears with her, but in the end, you need to let her make her own choices. Don't be overbearing on her and don't give her that sour mood...you're no longer 10 years old.

    Think about it this way, if this relationship were to step up to another level one day, so you want a situation where you have an intelligent & independant woman by your side who can take care of herself, or just someone you want to exert control over like a non-thinking robot for the rest of your life? While the later may sound good to some idiot guys, that gets old fast.

    Having had the chance to talk to her honestly about your concerns, she'll have the chance to work WITH you together to help you feel better. Perhaps she may decide to call you each day she's away. It's OK to feel concerned about her safety...just don't be a psycho nut about it.
     

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