uncomfortable situation...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by radfad88, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    Well Vag, as a lot of you know I joined the military recently and am about to leave for basic training. This weekend was the last time I had drill before training. Drill before training is just run by all the recruiter NCO's in the area to help get the privates ready for basic. In all there are like 10 NCO's running the show.

    One of these NCO's is a pretty laid back guy and he's always really nice to everyone (never makes us do pushups, lol). This weekend he came up to me about halfway through drill and asked was I mad at him (???) I said "Uh no, what?" He said "well you haven't talked to me all drill and we've been here 5 hours already." I said "Oh well sorry I'm not really feeling well right now I have a cold."

    At the end of the day when they announced everyone who was going to leave for basic before the next drill he came up to me again and gave me his business card and told me good luck and to email him if I ever needed anything. I didn't think anything of it because like I said this guy just seems like a nice guy. I put the card in my bag and haven't thought of it since.

    Well today I got a random text message that said "Hey Lady, it's *****."
    I said "What's up Sarg, I'm at work selling some douchebag a Voyager." (He just bought a voyager phone a couple of months ago and was asking me about it a while back bc he knows I work for Verizon).
    He said "Why's he a douchebag? Wait.. it's because he isn't me, right?"

    At this moment some weird alarm went off in my head and I realized that something just did not sit right.

    So I texted him back and said "How did you get my phone number?"
    He said "Off the roster. Wanted to tell you good luck before you take off."
    I didn't respond.
    He said "Is that a bad thing? Hope I didn't piss you off by texting you."
    I didn't respond.

    So now I'm just kind of weirded out and I talked to my boyfriend about it (he's also and NCO but not a recruiter or above me in any way). First he said that I should report it to someone. I don't want to get him in trouble but I know there are some serious rules against what he just did (took my information off a roster to send me a text message... he is not my recruiter). I don't want to confront him about it because it's always weird to tell someone to stop hitting on you when they haven't ACTUALLY hit on you (sort of like what Alaya was saying in her thread a while back). My boyfriend suggested I send him a text back that says "sorry, my boyfriend Sgt. **** really doesn't think it's cool for me to text you or any other NCO's." My thinking is if I just completely ignore him that he will get the picture and hopefully never try to contact me again.

    I feel completely stupid for not realizing anything weird was going on before but sometimes these things just don't register with me until it may be too late.

    What do you guys think I should do at this point?
     
  2. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Um, to keep it drama free and not get anyone in trouble, I can see a :

    "Thanks for the best wishes, Sarg." and end it there.

    If he continues to pursue/text I can see you saying :

    "Sarg, my boyfriend is a current NCO and feels that mutual texting between the two of us should not be permitted"

    IDK, to be hoenst, I have absolutely no experience when it comes to military, but from the moment you started talking about him (in recent posts) it was obvious he liked you.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    WHOA, totally out of boundaries finding your name off the roster and texting you. That would actually piss me off more than freak me out.

    As you know I'm sure he likes you, just continue to not contact him or answer any attempt from him. I wouldn't bother reporting him unless he does it again.

    And uh, "boyfriend?" You are back together with the older guy?
     
  4. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    Mmm kay I'm assuming you're not interested in the guy, at all.

    "Thanks for the well wishes. I'll be in touch if I need anything." Throw out his card and don't be in touch.
     
  5. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    All the guys will say to tell him you're not interested.

    All the girls will say to ignore him and hopefully he will get the picture.

    I say he is going about trying to get your attention the wrong way and he needs to be bitch slapped for pulling your number without permission.
     
  6. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    It does kind of piss me off... I just feel like my information is not safe now.

    I used the term "boyfriend" to avoid having to explain who he is to me. We're not really "back together" but we're still talking and friends. We're trying to just take things slower and keep things at a comfortable pace.


    I've never talked about this guy before. Until today he was not even really on my radar. The only military guy I've talked about was the older one that I referred to as my "boyfriend" in this post, lol.




    This is the part that bothers me the most. When my current BF approached me he did it outside of work when he happened to see me and he didn't use any private information to do it. It really bothers me that this guy took my info without permission. He's been in the military long enough he has to know that this is against the rules...:ugh:
     
  7. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    Don't be afraid to say, at some point, with any guy like this because it won't be the last time:

    "I did not give you my contact information and I file a report if you do not stop contacting me"

    Now if you do say this, you need to be prepared to follow through with the report if it continues.

    I'll bet that once you're in your unit and you put your foot down with one guy, most of it will stop. You'll always have a new guy or a really persistant guy who will still test.
     
  8. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    or to be less confrontational since he KNOWS what he did was wrong.

    "Thank you for the well wishes but if someone finds out how you contacted me you could be putting your career in jeopardy"
     
  9. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    :ugh::rolleyes: it's really not funny...
     
  10. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    If I understand correctly, she is leaving so there is nothing really in it for him unless he was hoping to go out with her before she leaves.
     
  11. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    Ok, coming from someone that's in the military right now I would approach this almost like a normal person. If you bring it up it's quite possible you'll ruin his career for something that isn't right but it's not a huge deal. He is a recruiter and he did use a "valid" excuse to look up your information. It would most likely be swept under the table (like most other shit in the military). My recruiter was all about me getting in because I aced my ASVAB, had tons of college, got an awesome rate (assigned job) and was in incredible shape. They practically took me out to dinner every week and completly overlooked the pre-boot drug screenings (because none of them mean shit until boot camp or until you're shipping day). That's what they do. They're orders are to get you and keep you and make sure you ship off to boot camp. Recruiting is probably the most stressful job in the military.

    What you need to do is confront him and say I'm not interested in a friendship outside of the Recruiter/Recruitee area and I'm very disturb you looked up my personal info. Tell him that you should go to his chain of command about going into her personal information it but you're not going to as long as he leaves you alone from this time forward.

    So basically tell him your uncomfortable and you think that his behavior as a NCO (recruiter?) is inappropriate.


    Also... if you feel that your personal information is not secure and have issues with that. You signed up for the wrong job. I guarantee you your social and personal information will be EVERYWHERE. That's the military for you, you stick that stuff on just about everything.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2009
  12. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    He probably likes you, it violates the rules, and is pretty weird, but you can keep it from getting out of hand.

    That being said, I'd report him. But ONLY because of his position. Military is different than like some employee at Best Buy or something. You can just ignore the Best Buy dude or quit because the job is not a big deal.

    But military dudes tend to be slightly the nutty side (no offense bros), and that position of power creates a different level of awkwardness for female counterparts.

    That, and I have a couple people close to me who have been in compromising situations in the military that they wish they reported sooner.
     
  13. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    yeah, same here my recruiter did all this and is always acting very buddy-buddy to me (which is fine he's my recruiter and he knows my boyfriend and it's never crossed any lines into what i'd consider 'flirting').

    the difference here is that this guy is NOT my recruiter, he's just A recruiter somewhere in the state I live in... and I didn't give him my contact information.

    i'm not planning to report him at this point as long as he doesn't take it any further. if he tries to contact me again i'm going to do like some of you are saying and let him know it's inappropriate and has to stop, then if he's dumb enough to do it again (doubtful) I'll have to report him.
     
  14. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    You mentioned in another thread how you are "his favorite" or something along those lines.

    A few people commented on it as well.
     
  15. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    I am MY RECRUITER'S favorite. Yes. I mentioned that MY recruiter told his GIRLFRIEND on the phone that I'm his favorite because I'm bubbly. MY recruiter is not the one in question here. He has not done anything wrong and I do not forsee him doing anything like this ever. Once again, the guy I'm talking about here is NOT my recruiter.
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I'd report him. If he gets in trouble...well, hell, he quite probably knew what could happen, and did it anyway.

    But I suppose to be somewhat nice, you could simply message him with "Please do not text me again. I feel that you from the roster was inappropriate, and if you continue to contact me without my permission, I feel it would be my duty to report this transgression".
     
  17. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Woa. Aaaaawkwwwwward :hsugh:


    I'd be inclined to follow D7 on this. Then I''d turn and run away. But I'm a big pussy when it comes to uncomfortable situations like that.

    Good luck with that one mama!
     
  18. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    start off w. this since you want him to stop but do not want to get him in trouble.

    if he doesnt get the message then be more stern.


    funny thing is.... you are all saying he is crazy for getting her # off the roster. i guarantee that if she was single and thought the guy was hot you'd all think it was cute that he went that far to get her #.
     
  19. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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    obviously he wasn't in the right for pulling your number and texting you, but reporting him is a little harsh
     
  20. Julius

    Julius Guest

    Best advice so far. Expect to be hit on by a lot of guys during BCT/AIT.

    Radfad: You're an attractive female that's a minority in a fighting force. It's gonna happen. It's up to you to be responsible and tell those off who you aren't interested in. Take care of yourself during AIT and NEVER allow yourself to be put in a compromising situation.
     
  21. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    :rofl: @ all the whiny pussys telling you to report him. These are probably the same people who call the cops when someone breaks into their house wanting them to come protect them instead if welcoming them into your home with a shotgun blast to the chest and then calling the cops.
     
  22. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    this is what pretty much what i would do...

    "Thanks, I'll let you know if i need anything."
     
  23. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I say kill him!




    Problem solved.
     
  24. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    JeeZ in that case your whole situation is screwy.
     

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