SRS Uhm my parents aren't sleeping together...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Spiritus, Aug 3, 2005.

  1. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Now my mom has been sleeping on the couch an awful lot latley. I mean pretty much every night besides a couple.

    Lifes been stressful latley and my dad is being a bit irrated to say the least :o But there hasen't been that much fighting directly between them at all, it's just a high stress time.

    I think it may be because my mother stays up late on the computer and doesn't want to wake my dad up when she goes to bed. Does that make sense or is that just a coverstory for the truth?
     
  2. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    if it's every night, it's a problem. what's she doing on the PC up late "every night"?
     
  3. scifimom

    scifimom Fear is the mind killer. I will face my fear and l

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    If she's irritated by his irritability, she may be avoiding him. They're probably having trouble communicating during this stressful time. She may be using the internet to get intellectual stimulation Dad's not providing.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    That's not good, parents should goto bed together.

    What your famiy needs is some stress relieve , why don't you find out what is giving them so much stress and try to relieve that. Its NOT good that your mom stays late on at night. If she is into conversations on msn or something , she'll probably is hearing stories like 'oh your husband is like this, and your husband shouldn't be doing this and that, and how could he' making your dad look bad on the computer, and she'll swallow those stories like cookies.

    If i where you i would just say to your dad and mom, hey how do you feel on going on a (weekend trip) together, for some nice relaxation (near some lake or beach) and have fun together, and really act like you all are a family. Now whatever is causing this stress has GOT to go. Every person on this planet has only so and so much coping resources. By putting love and light into the family situation, and letting your parents avoid 'rotten' situations that damage the relationship (like exessive computer usage) , your mom just has got to do something else. Like watching movies together in the evening with your dad, and when bedtime comes, both should goto bed together.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Sounds like a cover story to me.

    These kinds of incidents are good actually. It's your actions during difficult times that define the quality of your relationships.

    Everyone has rough patches, it's whether you decide to use this as an opportunity to come together...or grow apart.

    Maybe you could have a little (very casual) talk with whichever parent you feel closest to.

    Ask them if everything is ok. Leave it open-ended, not accusatory or inflammatory, i.e. not demanding to know "what's the deal with you and mom now???"

    PS. Last thing. Just what is your mom doing so late on the computer every night?
    If it's what it usually is....you know that can only mean trouble.
     
  6. bounty_hunter

    bounty_hunter New Member

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    Actually I know plenty of parents that do that...it could be numerous things from someone snoring/jimmy legs and arms to possibly trouble in the relationship
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Yeah, a lot of parents do do that.
    A lot of parents live distant, only vaguely connected lives too.

    The couch plus the late night computer use...that's a pattern I also see. And it's not a good one.

    Could be nothing, but a gentle talk with one of the parents is definitely in order.
     
  8. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Hmm it seems like things are getting better. My mom is a late night stalker like me so she can be up pretty late. Things are going fine right now, it was just a concern I had. Now that my dad is done building his sunroom he has nothing to do and can be irratable, but he's usually alright when he has a job to do... he's getting one soon.
     
  9. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    there's some truth to this since my aunt and uncle had seperate rooms but were married some 70 years before my uncle passed away.

    Apparently my uncle had a MAJOR snoring and kicking problem in his sleep and would literally terrorize my aunt (not on purpose) so they mutually agreed that seperate beds/rooms would maybe work out better and it did.
     

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