So last night I was over at a friend's house all night, got home around 3. My ex had sent me a text earlier, so I called her when I got home and we ended up talking nearly two hours. Quick back story. She was dating a guy back around March-April of last year. He told her he was really happy and wanted to be with her, but kept telling his friends he didn't see the relationship lasting much longer, weeks in fact. She found out, broke up with him. We started dating in June, got together in July, and dated on and off through February when things blew up and we stopped talking all together. Looking back, neither of us were really fit for a relationship with exception to maybe the summer months last year. So, we were talking last night and started talking about going to the lake. She said she was going on Wednesday, depending on people who go. After asking her why she didn't know, she said there was one person for sure. It finally came out that it was her ex, who she's been talking to for a while now. And, she finally came out and said she likes him again. This just kind of irritated me, and triggered something in me at the same time. As far as the irritation. No matter what, I still really care for her as a friend. I was the one she called when she found out what had been said by him, and she was crying and pissed about it. I told her as a friend, I think it'd be a mistake to go back to that because a guy doesn't just change his mind about someone being right for them a year later. I told her I didn't want to see her get hurt like she did. And like I said, it triggered something in me. In the time we didn't talk, I learned a lot about myself on a few things (anger being one of them, which really tore us apart) and grew up a lot. I came out and told her that I sometimes wish we could just try things again and see where they went since things have really settled down with our lives a lot. We had, for a while, talked about moving in together when we were both in San Diego, and had even really accepted the idea that marriage was very, very possible with us. I told her I still can look at her like that. When we were both fine with our lives and able to be in a relationship, we were great together. It's when things in our own lives crumbled that the relationship crumbled. So I basically said (I don't remember exactly how) that I don't miss her, but I just wonder and would love that shot to see what happened and where it'd take us. Told her I was sorry for what happened before. Then told her that looking at her, I can still see something really special with us and sometimes still see me spending the rest of my life with her like we had talked about. She said it probably won't happen anytime soon. In the future, who knows, she can't rule anything out. Honestly, I don't even know why I told her all of that. I know I fucked up bad in saying that, but at the same time I don't want to just stop talking with her because I have a lot of fun talking with her and hanging out with her.