SRS Ugh...nosy coworkers sticking nose in personal life

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BadKat, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    So as some of you know, I'm currently seperated (waiting to file divorce paperwork) from my Husband. We have a 3 year old together and have been married 4 1/2 years, together 5.

    I don't really talk about my personal life at work except with a couple of people. So only a select few people know that 1)I'm getting a divorce and 2)that I'm seeing someone new. I have pictures all over my work station of my Husband and my daughter and our two dogs, but haven't updated or changed the pictures out in months. I figured it was time to rotate the old pictures out and put up some new ones, taking the opportunity to take my Husband's picture down while I was at it. So with some of my downtime yesterday, that's exactly what I did.

    By the late afternoon, some people had noticed and now I'm being bombarded with questions (there is only 1 picture with my Husband left up, and that's because it's a cute picture of him with our daughter. I don't hate the guy, I'm just not willing to work on our relationship any longer).

    I'm not really sure how to handle the inquiries from people that I'm not comfortable talking about my personal life with. I feel that the people that I know will support me, that our my friends outside of work, are the only ones who need to know what is going on in my life.

    Any suggestions on how to NOT be rude to coworkers asking deeply personal questions?
     
  2. dymondboy2f

    dymondboy2f Second place is the first loser.

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    Simply tell them it's not of their concearn and you're not trying to be rude about it. Unless they're assholes they'll understand and walk away.

    edit: and holy fuck, you've been here not even 3 months and you have that post count.
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2008
  3. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    one of my friends had someone ask her what was going on and she politely informed them:

    "If she wanted to discuss her personal life with you, she would. I'm not at librety to, nor would I, discuss someone elses personal business with another coworker. That's gossip and a disciplinary offense. So unless she tells you, let it go". Which was nice of her.

    Someone on here (in another thread) said I should just tell them I'm going black :rofl:

    most of my post count comes from the Crew thread I whore up regularly :dunno:
     
  4. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    Usually, " I don't want to talk about it" has worked for me in the past. If they insist, it makes them look like assholes.
     
  5. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    i honestly hate to say this, but i think you brought it on yourself. before you get upset, let me explain why. :o

    after getting burned in the past, i definitely believe there are lines not to cross when it comes to work relationships. if you don't want your coworkers to know about your personal life [and in this case i'm referring to having a baby and husband], then you shouldn't have brought pictures of them into the workplace.

    :rofl: people are nosy. they want to know everything about everyone else's life. more often than not, they're living vicariously through that person. ;) i've been there, done that.

    i think that once you changed the pictures, you added fuel to the fire. people notice these things because they gravitate to drama. people love to hear about drama that doesn't involve their lives.

    i used to have a boss that had pictures of her kids all over her office. yes, she was married, but there weren't any pictures of her husband. worked with her for 2 years, and to this day, i don't know what he looks like. :dunno:

    on the other hand, my boss of all the bosses had a ton of drama ensue at the workplace. she was married, then divorced, and shortly after started dating a well known cyclist that she used to flirt with [and we all knew about it!] while married. insert pregnancy shortly thereafter, and along came another marriage.

    with that said, if your coworkers do ask about your personal life, why can't you just tell them, "it's personal, and i'd prefer not to discuss that with you."

    :mad: sometimes i just don't understand people. who do people think they are when they ask probing questions? i know it's tough, but you have be firm back otherwise they're going to mow you over, and your life will be an open book. stand your ground. you're right. no one needs to know anything about your life. be firm and tell them that.
     
  6. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    How about : "I just decided I needed to change my decor"
     
  7. ForALoafOfBread

    ForALoafOfBread mmmbop

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    chica&buddies

    +1
     
  8. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

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    Usually, when I find that coworkers are prying into areas they don't belong, I just make up stories or something totally outlandish, just to make them so uncomfortable they don't bother asking again.
     

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