SRS Ugh My sister

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ChelleBelle82, Jul 30, 2005.

  1. ChelleBelle82

    ChelleBelle82 What the FRENCH? Toast

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    Ok so my sister has always kind of ignored the family. She usually just comes around when she wants something. Well 2 weeks ago my mom gets a call from my sister's boyfriend (my sister is 33 and so is he by the way). He says my sister is in the hospital and is going to have a baby but she has preeclampsia. He also then admits that he and my sister have been using coke. My sister for 2 years and him for God knows how long. Well now my sister is staying with my parents. I understand she needs support right now but she has only ever come around when she needs something. I'm getting married in February and my mom has said that she was paying for the plane tickets and hotel room to Vegas. Well now it seems the baby is expensive. OK yes I'm slightly, I guess you would call it jealous. But how is it that I can be the one that gets screwed when my sister is the screwed up one. I'm 23 years old and have 10x the maturity of my sister. I just don't know what to do. My mom has been hurt so many times by my sister. Now she comes around and pretends to be the most loving daughter. I'm sure as soon as she can be with her boyfriend again and she gets custody of the baby, it will go back to her not talking to us. OK sorry I had to vent! This is the email I have written out to my mom, now do you think I should send it?

    "Sorry I didn't mean to take my frustrations out on you. It just really pisses me off that she can all of a sudden be such a wonderful daughter when she needs something. She can't talk to us for years, even when she was with Rich because we're not good enough. But as soon as she gets herself into some trouble, she comes running back. I know I'm not always the most loving daughter either but you know I had a great teacher. Maybe that's the so called blame game talking but I guess sometimes you have to play that game when it's the truth. She was a sister to me when I went to ASU and I love her for that. She was supportive and came to visit but it's really sad that, that's the only time I can think of when I thought she cared about me. For years she made fun of me, I was the nerd who's face was always in a book. Yeah well maybe that was true but I stayed off the drugs. I respect her for having good jobs in the past but now I think it hurts so much because she has lost that respect from me. She can sit there and tell me to take my medicine and take good care of myself, well for what? You know I can't have kids but she has one and doesn't even know she's pregnant? That just feels like she's spitting in my face. You can let her read this if you want. These are all of my feelings and I can't tell this to her face because it will come out angry and right now it's even hard to type because of the tears rolling down my face. I just feel like I was deserted by her and all of a sudden I'm supposed to welcome her back with loving arms and support her through this. Well I guess it will just take some time for me to forgive. I'm sorry if it seems I don't care about the baby. I'm glad one of us was able to have a baby at least. But I just don't want to get to excited about the whole situation because any time I think I'm getting a sister back she disappoints me. I don't know what else to say, I'm scared I guess."
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    11Jesus also said, `A man had two sons.

    12The younger son said to his father, "Father, give me my part of what will belong to me." So his father divided all he had between the two sons.

    13After a few days, the younger son packed up his things. He left home and went to a country far away. There he spent his money in foolish and wrong ways.

    14He spent everything he had. `There was no food in that country for a long time. He began to be in trouble.

    15So he went to stay with a man in the country who had a farm. The man sent him out to his farm to feed the pigs.

    16He would have been glad to eat the food the pigs ate. But no one gave him anything.

    17`Then he started to get sense. He said, "My father has many men who work for him. They have plenty of food. But here I am dying because I have nothing to eat!

    18I will get up and go to my father. I will say to him, "Father I have been a bad son. I have done wrong to God in heaven and to you.

    19I am not good enough now to be called your son. Let me be like one of these men who work for you."

    20`So he got up and went to his father. While he was still far away, his father saw him. He loved him and wanted to share in his troubles. He ran and put his arms around him and kissed him.

    21The son said to him, "Father, I have been a bad son. I have done wrong to God in heaven and to you. I am not good enough now to be called your son. Let me be like one of these men who work for you."

    22`But his father said to his servants, "Go quickly and bring the best clothes. Dress him. Put a ring on his hand. Put shoes on his feet.

    23Bring the fat calf and kill it. Let us have a feast and a good time.

    24This is my son. He was dead and now he is alive again. He was lost and is found." And they began to have a good time.

    25`The older son was out on the farm. When he came home and was near the house, he heard music and dancing.

    26He called one of the servants and said, "What is going on?"

    27The servant said, "Your brother has come home. Your father has killed the fat young cow because your brother is home and he is well."

    28`But the older son was angry. He would not go into the house. His father came out and begged him to come in.

    29But the son said to his father, "Look. I have worked hard for you for many years. I have always done everything you told me to do. And yet you never even gave me a young goat to make a feast with my friends.

    30But now this son of yours has come back. He has spent all your money and was with bad women. And yet you kill the fat calf for him!"

    31`The father said, "Son you have always been with me. And all that I have is yours.

    32But now we should have a good time and be happy. Your brother was dead and now he is alive again. He was lost and is found." '

    ---------------------


    The same could be said in the sense of ' a mother has two daughters '

    You could be considered as the jelouse son, and listen to me well when i say that your sisters is going to make more mistakes in the future, you just have to try to love her, and try to change her and his mind into becoming loving , free from addictions helping people so they can take care of their child. I know you feel jelouse, but like in this story you have to understand that your mother loves you and you are everything for her.
     
  3. JunKy

    JunKy New Member

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    its your sister. she doesn't come around, but have you ever tried to go to her?
     
  4. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    if you indeed feel deserted, you do not need to welcome her back into your life until she makes amends and cleans up her act.

    you're both adults and can choose to walk away from each other if you so choose. Granted, your family but neither of you need to be dependant on your parents, esp. you since you're about to get married and if you choose to not have her as a part of your life, that's your choice.

    if you do go that route, make sure she understands why and that if she's willing to apologize and become a better person, you'll welcome her back.
     
  5. diazfordork

    diazfordork slhore...*raise hand!*

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    i guess the biggest difference between your situation and the bible story replied is that the eldest son realized his errors and came back to his father for forgiveness. but the way you put it - your sister is coming back again because she is having problems. . . not because she is sorry for everything that she has done ... i would be as frustrated / jealous / angry too. maybe you should just see how everything goes out - and see if your sister is willing to not hurt you and your mother anymore. and if not - then yeah - it is your choice if you do not want her to be a part of your life anymore.
     
  6. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    At least you're communicating your feelings to your mom. You would do well to write an email to your sister as well, even if you don't send it; it will be therapeutic. You do need to try to get your feelings through to your sister though - at least then she can't plead ignorance when you give her the cold shoulder. Good luck, and keep us updated. :)
     
  7. Wrigley

    Wrigley New Member

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    any contact recently, its been a while
     
  8. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    this almost choked me up
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    realistically, your parents aren't concerned about you and your sister as much as you are. They are concerned mostly about THE CHILD. The child is innocent, hasn't done anything.

    Second...who said you had to welcome back your sister? That's your choice to make. If you want nothing to do with her, then have nothing to do with her.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    oh jesus, why on earth would someone bump a 5 year old thread?
     
  11. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I'm curious now too. So what did happen? It's been almost 5 years. If I was in this girls position, I would have cut out all the extraneous blame and just told my sister I felt abandoned and asked her why she made the choices she did.

    Maybe she has a side and her own feelings too that she hasn't expressed. Sometimes telling someone how you feel opens to door to communication. What closes the door is blaming them.
     
  12. Wrigley

    Wrigley New Member

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    :hsd:
     

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