:ugh: I'm putting the pussy on the petestal -- Help

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by afterShock81, Jun 10, 2006.

  1. afterShock81

    afterShock81 If I could only have one food for the rest of my l

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    So here's the story line:

    Dated girl 3 years ago in college. We had been good friends for a few years in school before anything further happened. Started dating this girl after she moved to a different city (1 hr. away). Anyway, Ended abruptly and immaturely on her part. I was pissed off about the way everything was handled and finally forgave her about a 3/4 a year later. We have mutual friends so it was always awkward.

    We started talking more and more frequently the last couple years and saw each other everyonce and awhile. Now, she and I moved to the same city and each have a handful of friends here. Her roomate(one of our mutual friends), her and I have been hanging out a couple times a week. Her roomates boyfriend will also hang out with us three.

    So, now that I've been hanging out with her more often --i'm starting to remember all the good qualities that I enjoyed about her and having mixed feelings about how i feel about her. Its really starting to irritate me that I'm thinking of her like this. Part of me wants to try and make a move, the other part of me is saying "wtf dude". I honestly don't even know what she is even thinking.

    I guess -- I'm just trying to get her off my mind in that way. Sometimes I think if I had another girl in the situation, I'd totally forget about her.

    I almost want to ignore her and not act like I care about her, yet I want to stay true to myself and act as I normally would. Cuz no matter what happens I'll always "care" about this girl.......so i'm just trying to find a happy medium, where we can be friends, not act like a little bitch around her, but also not have me thinking about her constantly.........

    I'm sure none of this made sense.....wow i'm confused.....................i'm sure y'all are now as well.

    HELP!!!
     
  2. Raab

    Raab New Member

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    if you dont want these feelings about her, the only thing you can do is stop hanging out with her. out of sight out of mind
     
  3. afterShock81

    afterShock81 If I could only have one food for the rest of my l

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    Thats my issue -- I don't want to do that though. If I ignored her she would know something is up. Thanks for the advice though.
     
  4. Vheissus310

    Vheissus310 New Member

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    Dont ignore her completly... just hangout with her once in a great while... thats what im doing with mine now :)
     
  5. who?

    who? Guest

    i may be wrong, but from reading your post, you seem like you want to forget about her, but still keep her as a friend, AT THE SAME TIME you want to be with another girl so you can use that to forget her completely, right?

    if your post is anything like my old situation, you would either have to a) make a move and ask that girl out, win or lose you have to make a move... OR b) ignore her, forget your past feelings, and move on...

    my story, in short:
    - i made a move after 1 year of just dating (i was a pussy back then), she said no
    - couldnt stop thinking about her after
    - blocked her contact from MSN and stopped calling her to forget her
    - it worked for about 8 months, then i received an email from her to goto her bday party. I went, started talking to her a little more again, memories starting coming back
    - currently i still cant stop thinking about her..if you decide to try and forget about her, be sure to follow through with it....last time i talked to her she has a bf now, knwoing that hurt like hell :wtc:
     
  6. afterShock81

    afterShock81 If I could only have one food for the rest of my l

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    First paragraph is pretty much right on. I mean i don't want to use another girl to forget about her........but seeing that I'm fairly new to a new town and haven't met many other women. So, I'm just saying that it could just pure lonliness that is making me feel the way I do and that if I had "options" that I may not be feeling this way.........I guess I won't know until I do find myself options.

    But yeah overall your correct. I don't want to shun her out at all. I just need to "man up" and be able to hang out with her on a striclty platonic level. No matter whatever happens she's always going to be one of those people that I will care for on deeper levels, ya know? Not necessarily just for lust, but just caring for her overall well-being.
     
  7. who?

    who? Guest

    dont know if the "guys can never 'just be friends with girls'" apply to you, but it certainly was true for me.... after she told me "no", she also asked if we could still be friends. In my mind, the way i treated her, the things we did together would never work out the same again, knowing that i will always, and only be her friend. If you really have the friendship feelings towards her, then go ahead....just dont mistake it for anything else, or it will hurt you bad in the long run.
     
  8. afterShock81

    afterShock81 If I could only have one food for the rest of my l

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    good point. I think I'm just not going to make the normal calls or emails for awhile.....and just lightly lessen my time around her. If she wants to keep in touch like we have been -- i think its time for her to do the work. We'll see how it works out.
     
  9. who?

    who? Guest

    :rofl: you're speaking like you lived through what i've experienced with a girl, exactly the same...

    if you decide to not contact her, but have her contact you instead, showing she actually wants/needs you, then you have to ask yourself "am i ready to ask this girl out when she calls me?" if you feel the situation at that point will not work in your favor for whatever reason, just say you're busy and forget it..
    i made the mistake of occasionally hanging out with her after she contacted me a longgg while from not talking to her.... i had no intentions of asking her out too, and i still met up with her a few times. She had already moveed on with her life and we felt so distant.....we couldnt talk about many of the things before, we jsut werent "close" anymore. It was better off knowing i should've forgotten about her completely. Seeing her again just brought up little pieces of memories i tried so hard to forget.
    On the other hand, you could show her that you've changed, you're not just her "friend" anymore, but you want the next step. After a long time this would be a perfect chance to ask her out, given that you can pull it off right haha
     

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