ugg roommates

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by goldfish, Mar 5, 2008.

  1. goldfish

    goldfish New Member

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    So my roommate and I are really good friends and have known each other for quite a while. Anyways, we both have boyfriends (who are both good friends as well) so ever since my roommate and her bf got together (over a year) ALL she's done is complain about him. He's basically a dick to her and now since all of his friends have moved away he started acting better to her. (That was after she's threaten to leave him SEVERAL times) so I'm house sitting this week and we planned on hanging out last night since we haven't seen each other for a while. Her bf is a total loser (dropped out of school without telling anyone, doesn't have a job, parents pay for everything, lives at home, spoiled, etc) and I really can't stand him I think because of the way she treats her and how all she did was complain about him. Plus he's kind of a dick to my bf too...kinda just uses him when he has nothing else to do. So she decided to stay with him (even though all her friends said to leave him) and last night he had some kind of mental breakdown and wanted to come up and see her. Even though we already had plans, I said it was okay and that way she could comfort him. So we decided to hang out today instead. Well this morning I get a text telling me he is staying until tomorrow morning and that is it okay if he comes along to hang out with us. Of course I said no and was upset. She said "well i can't force him to leave...sorry" so of course I wrote something back along the lines "thanks for ditching me twice that really hurts, blah blah blah" and she wrote me back and said I was immature and what not. Am I wrong for being pissed? I know texting isn't the best way to talk, but I was on my way out..This isn't the first time she's ditched me for him.

    Cliffs: Roommate's bf is a dick to her, she ditches me for him AGAIN.
    She knows how I feel about him and it's really starting to affect our relationship. :sad2:
     
  2. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    Common thing for women... Avoid talking to her for a bit to get the point across. Or if your really at your wits end with all of it say your friendship or the dickbag
     
  3. Tzuma

    Tzuma New Member

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    Youre mad because you dont like him more than anything, imho.

    People commonly place their significant others (no matter how great/bad they are) above their friends. Its a mistake thats common into the mid-20s, when people realize that friendships remain thru all your ex's.

    Her priorities are simply different than yours. Heck, they could even be the same, but you simply dont have a LDR to compare to. You would probably ditch her too.

    Im assuming a lot of things based on your tone of the post. You spend most of the time complaining about her boyfriend as if it matters to your question. It doesnt. I think you overreacted because of this.
     
  4. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    Having a friend ditch you for her bf (especially one who's such a dickhead) sucks, but I really think everyone does it - especially when they're young or new in a relationship.
    I know I've done it, and its been done to me. I've tried to talk to my friends about what they're doing, and friends have tried to talk to me when I've done this to them, but it never really works.
    Once she finially gets rid of him she'll come around again, and if you're a good enough friend and she's a good enough friend, you guys can get past this and just be friends again. If she stays with him though...either your going to have to deal with having a friend thats a flake (we all have one or 2 I think) and not care what her reason for flaking is, or just stop being her friend.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's the kind of situation that happens to everyone. I don't think I know one girl, other than myself, who actually hangs out with all her friends still while she has a bf. A lot of young girls get a bf and pretty much say, "forget my friends! He is my world!" It obviously doesn't help that he is a douchebag.

    However, there's nothing you can do other than let it roll off your back, don't take it personally, and get other friends. One day when they break up she'll hopefully see the error of her ways and never do it again.
     
  6. goldfish

    goldfish New Member

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    thanks guys
     
  7. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    This happens everytime one of my friends gets a BF. It's something I expect, and it's fine with me :). Hopefully she is the kind of person that would be there for you if you really needed it even though she has a BF.
     
  8. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    well if her bf is a loser and hes your bfs friend... your bf is a loser too.
     
  9. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    yea you are immature.
     
  10. 2angelmd

    2angelmd New Member

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    A dick's a dick. If she's bailing on you for some guy who treats her, and your boyfriend badly then she's the immature one. Be pissed at her.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She is pissed...now she needs better advice on how to deal with it.
     
  12. 2angelmd

    2angelmd New Member

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    She only asked if she's wrong to be pissed. I was assuring her that it's ok.

    Here's better advice; stay pissed at her until she get's it.

    No that's horrible advice. Don't do that.
     
  13. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    this wont go well...

    My roommates bf is a dick, too. beats the crap out of her every once in a while, screams at her daily, slaps her around a bit, the whole works. She met him once we went away to college, and she and I could have been much better friends if it werent for him. She knows I dont like him, and I made that clear. After one incident, my friends and I had something of an intervention. After that, I basically lost her as a friend, and we're not living together again next year. She "knows" she is going to marry this jerk, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. There's really nothing you can do but hold your tongue, because she's probably convinced that he's perfect and that you couldnt possibly understand because youre not in their relationship...even though you see everything and you're basically in the MIDDLE of their relationship.
     
  14. goldfish

    goldfish New Member

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    It's really sad to just sit back and watch. The only thing is she KNOWS it's not a healthy relationship and she is part to blame for that as well. (which she knows as well) She knows how I feel about him and it's frustrating because she knows how unhappy she is yet has poor self esteem and although she thinks she is independent, she is in fact just opposite. This is just me saying this, but I think she thinks that she needs him in order to be happy, yet he is the one who is making her unhappy! Now I should say that according to her, things are better, but why would someone want to be in a relationship for such a long time and be so miserable? I just don't get it.
     
  15. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    oh yes, i think our roommates are the exact same person. clearly my roommate must realize her bf is a douche and that shes in an unhealthy relationship, but thats not enough for her to get out. she broke up with her ex when we went away to college because she wanted to be "independent" and know she could make it on her own, but she got with this guy a week into school and he's never left since. I dont get it either.
     

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