Typical story of "realizing too late" v.LTR

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by xpinchx, Jul 18, 2009.

  1. xpinchx

    xpinchx hes got a nice cock, on the thin side but its stil

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    Fawk, this sucks and it's mainly my fault. Every couple months me and my SO have an "argument" where we talk things out and how things aren't going too well. It usually involves me being lazy, and that's honestly a big part of it... or at least it appears so. The thing is, I don't go to class because I can still 4.0 my classes just from reading the book. And I don't "go to work" because I work twice a week for 16 hours each shift (which is still 32-40 hours). During my free time I usually play video games or just do whatever since noone wants to hang out unless it's the weekend... I contribute to household chores like cleaning pretty regularly, but I don't take care of her cat/lizard because honestly I don't know how often they're supposed to get fed and they're her pets.

    Anyway, a big part of it is financial too and I feel it's not entirely my fault. Before I got my 2nd part time job I put our shared groceries, bills, rent, etc. on my credit cards and now I'm paying it off. The problem is my personal bills (cell phone, car, settling CC debt) is almost exactly what I can afford so not much is leftover when it comes to paying energy bills, cable, etc. And a small portion of the rent that my parents don't cover (they actually give me $600/mo for rent, which you'd think would at least partially make up for me not contributing as much personally... rent is $640/mo). The good news is that I'm getting a better job in the upcoming weeks, I'm currently selling a few expensive items I've been holding onto, and I'll be 100% debt free by the end of November, and in January I get my student loan leftovers which = about $4,000 of cash money.

    Still I wish I could've taken care of things sooner, which is why I'm realizing now I could have solved a lot of these issues beforehand by getting a new job when I realized my current one sucks, selling some of my guns I never use when bills weren't getting paid, etc. My SO came up to me tonight and said things weren't working out for mainly the above reasons (she's kinda supporting me, and I'm not always working when I could be picking up more hours) and started talking about separating/breaking up. (We've been together for 5 years BTW)

    She seemed pretty dead set on it when we started talking, but now it seems kind of wishy-washy. I know how she feels because I've fallen out of love with her before but I kinda stuck with her because I knew (at the time anyway) that she was the one and I probably wouldn't meet another girl like her. She says we're different now, I say we've grown. But it sucks to have this on my shoulders now because our lease runs out in 2-3 weeks and we were planning on moving in with our friends (also a couple). Now I don't know what to tell my friend because I want to work things out, but if she's not coming with me I might need to make new living arrangements.

    Anyway, I'm just ranting trying to get this all off my chest. I'm not really sure what to think at this point... I really want to be with her, and I'm okay with her falling out of love as long as her heart is in it and she gives it a good try. I can see how she fell out of love in the first place since I haven't been there for her as much as I should have. I know things will get better if we stick out, right now I'm in a rough spot in my life (stuck in a degree I hate, working a job that I hate, always broke... But I'm almost graduated, almost have a new job, and a lot of $$ is coming my way :hs: )But now that it's time to move out of this apartment maybe it would be a good time to separate and see other people or whatever. :dunno:

    Sucks being a procrastinator. Anyway let me know what you all think. :hs:
     
  2. xpinchx

    xpinchx hes got a nice cock, on the thin side but its stil

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    But man, the idea of me and her with other people just seems so weird...
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    what do YOU want?
     
  4. xpinchx

    xpinchx hes got a nice cock, on the thin side but its stil

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    Heh, I just want to go back to the old days. We were both in-shape, happy, motivated, never had to worry about money, and very much in love with eachother. Her main point earlier tonight was that neither of us are happy in our personal lives and that's probably a big reason why we're not happy together. But it's kind of a double edged sword because the only reason I'm not happy with her right now is because she's not happy with me. I'm not really happy with myself, but I'm on a huge up-turn mainly because what's in store in the near future. I recently started running and lifting weights on a regular basis which makes me feel better by itself. But I've also been taking adderall which helps a lot with getting stuff done around the house and staying motivated, as well as going to bed earlier (with her) instead of staying up late playing video games. To me everything looks like it's on its way up and I don't think we quite realizes that yet. :hs: Even though she won't admit it, money is a big part of it. When I don't have any money, we never go out, we don't do normal couple things, etc. Within the next month we've got a big camping trip coming up, concerts to go to, etc. :hs: Just sucks

    So going back to your question, what I want is to have her fall in love again which I think could happen pretty easily. Everything she's unhappy with me about is getting better.
     
  5. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I read your thread title and went :eek3: holy shit he finally did it :bowdown:

    Bro you've been making threads about this girl for the past 5 years. I think you must have deleted a bunch cause I could only find a couple when I searched but I know you've made a shitload more. You've been uphappy with her for quite some time.

    She is not "the one" for you. If she was you wouldn't have been having so many issues in your relationship for the past 5 years. You are just having trouble letting go because you've been with her so long and you guys are young so it was your first long relationship. If you end it and stop contacting her for a few months I guarantee you will realize that you weren't really happy in this relationship and that ending it was the right thing to do. You have to actually give yourself a chance to move on though, don't sit around being emo over her all day and pretending like you had a wonderful relationship because that isn't the truth.
     
  6. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Sorry it doesn't work like that. You were 18 then...of course you both have changed. You can't go back to the old days, THIS is your relationship now.
     
  7. xpinchx

    xpinchx hes got a nice cock, on the thin side but its stil

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    Damn this subforum and your guys' good memory :rofl:. I have made a lot of threads in the past but honestly most of them are issues that 18-year-olds have to deal with... Awkwardness, confusion, uncertainty, self consciousness, and boredom. We grew together a lot in those years and we hit some nasty bumps but I think most of our "real" relationship has been in the past 2 years living together. For the most part it's been great, the sex life has been a little lacking (partly to due with her anxiety meds + birth control we found out) but we've always been intimate, and together we're a pretty good team. :dunno:

    When I say the "good ol' days" I'm mainly referring to when we first moved in together. Everything was fresh and fun, we always did stuff together. Over those 2 years though we kind of do a lot of our own things partly isolated (I'll be playing video games in the office while she's facebooking in the living room or going to bed early).
     
  8. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    humm I wish you the best of luck..
     
  9. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    When you think about whether or not to stay together, just remember that you still have a lot of time ahead of you.

    Don't stay in a relationship for the sake of staying in a relationship.

    While every person is unique and special, it doesn't mean they aren't replacable. There is a wide spectrum of people that you, and your SO can be happy with. If it's not working out now, and you don't see things getting better for whatever reason, might as well use this chance to pull the plug.

    On the flip side, if you think things can get better and you decide to stick with it, i'd admire that decision as well.

    Just remember that emotions are clouding your judgement, and try to do what will make you happiest in the long run. I feel that too many relationships go on too long because people are afraid of the short term discomfort of a break up. Took me 3 months to figure out one of my ex's wasn't right for me after serious arguments/problems started popping up, we had dated 2.5 years.
     
  10. JamesL

    JamesL wat

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    If this is your first ltr, I say take a break. You really need to get a fresh outlook on your situation. If you guys end up together in the future, great... but sometimes everyone needs a little time by themselves.
     

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