SRS Typical I can't get over my gf's past

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by limited_skillz, Jun 25, 2007.

  1. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    We've been going out 7 months today, and everything's fine I love the relationship and what not. Main thing that seperates her from all the others, we plan to actually be friends when it's over because we're pretty apathetic people in general who can't let little things get in the way of the big picture. We don't hype things up and what not, but keep it emotional regardless.

    We met first year university, I barely talked to her in the beginning, then she liked one of my close friends (a girl) and then she basically slept with her. I was turned on by it obviously. I ignored it because I generally thought of her as a weak, annoying useless bitch. However, same thing happened to me a few weeks later. It was the first time she ever went that far with a guy, but I couldn't get it in since I was so drunk and she was so tight.

    Fast forward a few weeks, we talk a bit, realize how great we would fit together. Eventually I just end up kissing her outta nowhere, fast forward 3 glorious weeks, I sleep with her. We end up having sex a ton later on. She still doesn't know me completely since I distance myself on purpose and she's just generally lost in life, but I love our companionship together, it's just rewarding time spent growing with each other.

    Eventually I predict we'll just grow out of the lovey dovey state, break up, what not but be really good friends who spend alot of time, and fuck. It's what I truly want.

    However, as much as I try, I can't get rid of what she did before me. She only kissed one guy before coming to university, and it was her close friend at the time. I don't care whatever about that.

    Thing is, she got drunk and made out with and let guys grope her everywhere, basically once a week before we met. I would be fine with it if they were even her type, or she liked them at all, but they weren't. I can deal with sexual exploration, but this was just being a total club slut. In residence being around her, I had to always be ashamed, as she'd see at least 2 of the guys she made out with everyday when we were in the caf or what not.

    Furthest she went was giving a guy a handjob and letting him finger her in the dorm shower. I'm pretty sure she gave him a blowjob too, but she denies it. This was while making out with 3 other guys that night.

    I would be alot more content if she just had a few boyfriends before and she wasn't a virgin. I've been in that situation before and it was fine with me. I just can't deal with her being like that. She hates black guys, and she even made out with one too during that phase. I would even be fine with her just dancing with a guy she considers hot and making out with him. It's just all these pathetic ugly fucks got to make out with her because she was a dumb slut.

    I don't know the overall figure, she gave me an approxmimation of more than 10 less than 15, and this was from september to november.

    I've actually had more experience than her (and much further as well) but they were actual crushes/relationships I worked on for a very long time with lots of manipulation. I've kissed a few girls at clubs and what not, but not before lengthy conversation and actually being interesting, they were sober too.

    It just makes me want to go out and do the exact same thing. Be one of those sketchy fucks that she made out with and find drunk girls like that. I just want to have no standards at all and slip my tongue and dick in anything that passes by, until I get it out of my system.

    I've randomly confronted her on it before, so it's not as if I keep things in to her, we have a much open relationship. She gave me the response that "it was all back then when I was just looking for something, and it didn't matter who did what to me, nothing would have changed." I don't want to be some sort of magical remedy for her meaning seeking ways, she's just going to realize nothing has changed from her experience with me and just go back to the same thing, even worse. There's just nothing rational to gain from talking to her.

    I just don't know how to get over it, and I'm not going to bring it up to her again to make her mad about it unless I have solid new rhetoric.



    Cliffs - Gf was a naive slut before me to guys she didn't even like, I don't know how to deal with it
     
  2. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    so wait ultimately you want to become just fuck buddies but you are judging her on her past :hsugh: get off your high horse everyone goes thru a phase like that and if you don't you really should to get it out of your system.
     
  3. PanzerAce

    PanzerAce Active Member

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    .

    also, it seems to me like you are WAY over reacting. Hell, the way you described it, basically all she did was kiss guys and let one singer her and she gave him a handjob. SO WHAT?! You complain about her being a 'club slut', and yet, really, what has she done that would make you call her this?

    I'll put it this way: I know girls who have slept with that many guys in the same amount of time.
     
  4. Barky

    Barky woof

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    using someone like that is never a good option.... all it does is bring more hate and bitterness into your life
     
  5. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    It's the past. There is NOTHING you can do but get over it. I agree with PanzerAce as well, for someone you call a 'slut' she seems quite tame and normal for a teen. I did the same kind of shit when I was younger.
     
  6. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    Um many people have actual sex with 10-15+ guys in a matter of days, so for you to be calling her a slut for MAKING OUT and other innocent play in the course of two months is kind of blowing things out of proportion.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2007
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    So if this is a typical thread....did we really need another one?
     
  8. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    All too familiar. Let me guess, you were a virgin before you met her?

    I've learned that you either a) get over it, or b) move on.

    There's nothing you can do to change your girl's past. Period. Do you like being with her? Does she treat you well? Does she fuck around on you behind your back?

    If the answers are yes, yes, and no, get the fuck over and it and look to the future. You don't know what's going to happen, and resigning her to a fate that she may or may not accept is wrong. But moreover, if it DOES happen, it's before and after you. You knew who she was when you got together, but now you want to hold it against her? What kind of logic is that?

    Guys typically really only care if they're insecure about themselves, or if they've had next to no experience (which relates back to the former). You can go out and "level the playing field" if you want, but what exactly is that going to achieve? It's going to leave you looking down on yourself for the shit you're looking down on her for.

    You either need to learn how to accept her past, or move on, and find someone who "meets your standards", so to speak.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    These threads always get divided into a few types of responses. They are as follows:

    Some people say women are sexual creatures and she was just doing what anyone else would do.

    Some people say that it only bothers you because you are coming to the realization that your GF has more sexual options than you, and that makes you insecure.

    Some people will say not to hold someone's past against them.

    Some people will say it's ok to hold someone's past against them provided you are not being hypocritical about it (ie. if you've been with 50 chicks but you call your gf a slut for being with 30 dudes).

    Some people will say "get over it."

    Some people will say you have to decide if it ultimately makes you uncomfortable or not.

    Now that I've summed up every possible reply, you need to decide which one agrees with you and if this is something you can ultimately live with or not.
     
  10. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    Well I agree with you guys about me being a douche, but I disagree with the fact that I can't at least pick on her past.

    The important distinction I made between her and other girls, is that she didn't even find any of the guys attractive or charming or anything. She did it because they came on to her, and she thought there was no point in pushing them away.

    I just can't deal with the fact that it's just ANYONE.
     
  11. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Is that because you feel like there's no distinction between anyone else fucking her and you fucking her?

    Bottom line dude, you either figure out a way to deal with it, or you move on.
     
  12. johan

    johan Active Member

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    If it bothers you, then deal, or get out. It's really that simple.

    In an absolute sense is her behaviour way slutty? Well, she's not chaste, but her behaviour isn't too far from normal.



    I'd say the real problem is that you're a control oriented person who is somewhat callous in your attitude towards human relationships.

    Hence your ambivalence and cool distance towards her, your stated intention to fuck her senseless and then, drift away when it suits you.

    And now you find she isn't a compliant fuck tool like you'd hoped, and it upsets the supposed ordered calm you want.

    I wouldn't worry about it.
     
  13. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Ummm....yeah....

    So you've been dating 7 months, you love her, you can't get over her past blah blah blah...

    But it looks like you've already decided that this isn't serious enough to really pursue. Let her go and move on.
     
  14. Tehrod

    Tehrod New Member

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    i'm going to say who cares what happened in the past. it's was just a phase obviously.
     
  15. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

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    If she hasn't learned from her past, she will repeat it. That is the only consern I would have about someones history.


    But from the sounds of it, your looking for an out and your blowing this up to make it exactly that.
     
  16. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    If you just really, really want to be fuck buddies with her, then her past shouldn't matter as much to you as it does. I mean, you were just saying that you're a pretty apathetic kind of guy so why all the emotions in the 'relationship'?
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Werd. You are in a relationship with her, say things are going great, blah, blah, blah, but then you say you are planning on staying friends when it is over?

    So you're already looking at how it will end? You don't wan the relationship, en it, let her find someone who is ok with her past.
     
  18. Ritley

    Ritley New Member

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    I would say you need to get over it. If its a big deal to you, move on.
     

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