SRS Two friends in their early 30s, never even been on a date...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FurryFriend, Jul 23, 2006.

  1. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    Not a joke or troll. I have two Asian male friends in their early 30s who has never been on a date. Never went to their high school proms, no dating in college, etc. No, they're not fugly or handicapped or assholes. And definitely not gay as determined by the quantity of porn on their computers and frequent visits to strip joints. Both are college graduates, gainfully employed (but live with parents), drive nice cars and have decent personalities. Perhaps they're a bit shy and geeky -- but nothing that cannot be overcomed.

    I think since they've never dated, they fell into that mode where dating and girls aren't important. In other words, shyness became a habit and that habit encouraged a lifestyle of singleness. And they're comfortable with it so they don't feel compelled to change. It's like being at a dead end job -- it may suck but why look for another when the one you have now is safe and comfortable.

    I know it's their life but I feel encouraged to intervene. What's the best way to release their wild side? Forget about introducing some of my female friends to them. My love life is pretty pathetic too (just not nearly as pathetic as theirs).
     
  2. *lola*

    *lola* New Member

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    Hi FurryFriend:wavey: The frist thing I thought when I read this about your 2 friends, is that they are probably the type that don't need to date, get married, or have children or any of that which may be time consuming or distracting.
    There may be a different calling for their lives to contribute to the world at large. The bible does state that not everyone is the marrying kind, nor have to get married. I also think it equates to the likes of Jesus Christ and Budhha, where they had perfectly balanced yins and yangs, and didn't need any of that 'outside' stuff to make them feel fully functional or accepted.

    Your friends sound like lovely gentle people, and it truly is refreshing to have people like that in your life.
    I take it they are your friends because you already enjoy their company?
    If you want to bring the wild side out in them, you may have to get them a bit tipsy and put a lot of funny flics on the tele for them to have a good laugh.
    They may be neither hetrosexual, nor gay, just that 'in between' that are born neither male or female...I forgot what the name of that is.
    But there seems to be a new generation of them emerging in our times.
     
  3. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    No, they're not religious. I hope they were because they could then meet some girls at church!

    Trust me: they want to be in a relationship. They talk about it all the time. But they're just too lazy or shy or lack the social skills to pursue it constructively.
     
  4. *lola*

    *lola* New Member

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    I read in your first post that you wrote dating was unimportant to them, so I assumed they were not that interested basically. I am not saying they are religious, just stating something about balanced yins and yans and that not everyone has to be partnered. But as you say in your second post they talk about it all the time to want to date...well...now that's different.
    Seems by the way they have a lot of "porn" on their computers, and they like going to strip joints, that they are NOT looking for a steady relationship. More like wanting to lose their virginity with a call girl perhaps?
    Have you asked them if they would like that?
    They may have a different side to them you never noticed before?

     
  5. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    Yeah, I knew what you meant by the yin-yang thing. I mentioned religion only because if they were religious, it'd give them an excuse to go to church and mingle!

    I'm sure they desire a steady relationship. I know these two guys for a very long time. Perhaps they don't desire a relationship desperately enough to do something about it. But I know they know it's abnormal being in their 30s and never even gone on a date. This is worst that the movie 40 Year Old Virgin. At least the virgin in the movie has gone on dates!

    Asian culture is a bit weird. Geeky asian guys didn't go on dates back in high school or college. But geeky white guys, while geeky, at least has their share of sexual or dating experiences.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You have no idea how many people are lonely behind their computers. Dating world is harsh and selfish , people really aren't interested in making eachother happy or loving one another , rather get laid, use and abuse and have has much fun as they can possibly have without taking in aspect how much havoc they cause.

    That being said, if you get hurt or are unaccustomed to being social, going out will feel alien to you , it will feel like your lying to yourself who you really are. Your not an outgoing person, you like to be alone. (sort of filosophy) Of course you know that's not the way to go, but its who you are and as a result your sitting behind your computer living a geek lifestyle without having any friends, let alone female company.

    Welcome in the world that we call lonelyness.

    And once you realise you'll never going to hook up, you start getting used by living alone. And living your life in the way you want it. It usually means that your living a lifestyle that is introverted. You have to make the choice to step towards the people if you want to get out. Lonelyness can befall you, but you can make a choice to get out.
     

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