Turning one night stand into relationship?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by YOURFACE, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. YOURFACE

    YOURFACE New Member

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    Hi everyone. I'm a long time lurker, rare poster.

    I dated this guy very casually for a month back in October. We slept together twice. Then I got sort of clingy and I think thats why things ended. Since we had a lot of mutual friends, we remained cool.

    Fast forward to last Saturday. It was my birthday and he drove me to a club in order for me to get drunk and not have to drive. At the end of the night, I decided I couldn't go home because I couldn't let my parents see me drunk. So he took me to his place so I could sleep. I was about to doze off on the couch but then he took me to his bed and said it would be more comfortable. Well, he put his arms around me in bed, as a friendly gesture and I leaned in to kiss him. We started making out. He wanted to have sex, but I was on my rag so I just gave him a bj.

    It has now been a week and I haven't heard from him other than a text message wishing me happy birthday on the actual day. I texted him on Thursday to go to they gym because we usually go together every other day. He said he was busy with finals and would start again the following week.

    I really want to be with this guy. But I don't know how I should handle this. Should I text him again after his finals are over? I don't want to come across as clingy. Or should I wait for him to make contact. And when we do, should I talk about the one night stand? How do I bring it up? I kind of suck at talking about my feelings so just wanted some pointers about how I should handle things going forward.

    CLIFF NOTES:
    1. Dated guy back in October. I was clingy & things ended.
    2. Got drunk and stuff happened between us last weekend
    3. He's been MIA, partly because he's busy with finals
    4. Want a relationship with this guy, so what should I do now?
     
  2. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Well to be fair, finals are a bitch and he is likely busy.
    He likely doesn't want one, especially if you already shown your bad side by being clingy.






    Send him a message after finals and ask for a night of fun. See if he has any feelings or just wants to fuck. Do you have a problem with slutting around ?
     
  3. YOURFACE

    YOURFACE New Member

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    The thing is I'm not sure if I should contact him again. I already contacted him once and don't want to come across as clingy. I'm not looking for a fuck-buddy or anything.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Wait for him to contact you, but don't get your hopes up. If HE wanted a relationship with you, he would have made an effort to pursue starting things up again.

    Sounds like he was just interested in casually hooking up again.
     
  5. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Agreed.

    Wait for him to contact YOU. Seems as if he just wanted to hook up, if already he backed out of a relationship with you once than I doubt he's looking to get back into one. He was probably just looking to hookup, and the history you two have made things easier. :dunno:
     
  6. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    he doesn't like you. i mean, he likes you enough to fuck you i guess... but he obviously doesn't want the same things you want with him or he would have : A. stayed with you in the first place, or B. contacted you by now.

    if you want to casually hook up with this guy without getting your hopes and feelings crushed, do it... otherwise i'd just forget about it because when a guy really wants you, he'll make some effort, especially if he knows he's got a pretty good shot.
     
  7. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    One of the biggest things that I have figured out after 11ty dates and hookups is that you have to divorce yourself from your prospect's thoughts and just deal with their actions...

    Basically, ignore everything you know about the person, look at the actions from the outside, and reach your conclusion.

    If I were in your shoes, I would write this whole situation off as a moment that was what it was, but I wouldn't chase after future moments. If he was interested and he was a man, he would pursue it. So, either he isn't interested or he isn't a man, at which point you should move the fuck on to someone else.
     
  8. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    And you don't really want a relationship with him, btw... you just like the idea of a relationship with someone with his "credentials."

    You will meet an absurd amount of cool people in your life.

    Just don't put your chips on the table when the odds are shitty... his actions say that you are simply an extra in his life and not the prize. Assuming that you want to be the prize, just do good by yourself and do good by your friends, and eventually, you WILL meet someone who truly believes that you are the prize. :cool:
     
  9. KarmaPolice

    KarmaPolice Active Member

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    eh, i'll go against the grain a little... send him a text (maybe about the gym or what not) but keep it completely innocent... the proof of whether he wants to be with you again will come in the following week or two... be patient... if it's worth it, it's worth waiting...

    but i would DEFINITELY be prepared to just let it go... drunken night out definitely sounds like drunken meaningless hookup to me
     
  10. Captain Jack

    Captain Jack I know I know nothing

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    huh?
     
  11. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Wait until after finals, and go from there.
     
  12. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    FAIL.
     
  13. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Give it a week or so and ask him to the gym again. See if there is any flirting between the two of you. I think at this point you need to take one of the two extreme roads. Tell him your feelings for him and see what happens, or ditch the idea of him wanting to be with you. I'd opt for choice number 1 because if you're giving him signals then it sounds like he's either not picking up on them or isn't interested. You'll know for sure this way.
     
  14. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    Second this

    Be upfront with the guy. A common problem I've found with women is that they assume all of us men actually use and understand the mind games and indirect communication they like to use. We usually don't. Just ask the guy. :hs:
     
  15. YOURFACE

    YOURFACE New Member

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    I appreciate all of the responses so far. Thanks for taking the time to read my thread.

    Now, how exactly do I communicate my feelings? I really suck at expressing them. Do I just call him up and jump straight to the topic? And when I do, what exactly do I tell him? "I think you're a great person and I hope you don't think any less of me for that drunken night. I would like to start dating you." Does that sound good?
     
  16. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    sorry dear, sounds like a fuck and chuck.
     
  17. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :werd:
    and well said.
     
  18. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :rofl: :Owned:
     
  19. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    his friendly gesture was a attempt at another bootycall. And the fact he said come sleep in my room with me while your drunk and im sober leads to the fact he was trying to get a piece.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Hate to break it to you...but you've probably got a low shot of this working.

    Learn from this. Most men I think can agree that if they fuck a girl right away with no problem they almost lose respect for her, or at least the idea that they are "girlfriend material" flies out the window. All the fun sexual tension that gets to build up is already over with. There's no challenge.

    I'm not saying to withhold sex from a man you like in the future...but you don't need to jump in the sack with him right away to get him to like you; chances are if he's not calling you now it's because:
    *he doesn't like you
    *you were a bad lay (most likely #1 though)

    Don't contact him. Let him come to you, but don't wait around.
     
  21. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Yeah.. honestly the girl im talking to right now has been playing pretty hard to get as far as getting into bed goes, and its made me like her a lot more. I've had plenty of easy women. It's not really worth it for the long haul.

    Don't do the "I think you're a great person and I hope you don't think any less of me for that drunken night. I would like to start dating you." line.. That would irritate the shit out of me because you sound sorta pathetic for apologizing. Unless you were incredibly plastered you don't need to apologize. Just be simple "Hey do you have a second to talk?" "I know we've had some fun nights together but I've been developing an interest in you and I'm wondering if the feelings are mutual". Those were the exact lines I used with the girl I'm talking to and I got a very honest answer.
     
  22. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    Don't wait around for him. You are already "tainted" in his eyes. Sorry.
     
  23. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    NO.

    That still gives a huge opening to being fuckbuddies/fwb or makes you look like a slutty girl that isn't comfortable with it.

    Ask him if he wants to date if you think he is great. Or play the waiting game to see if he gives a fuck.





    personally I'm not in that group, I would have no problem dating a girl that puts out early.
     
  24. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i would just let him know how you feel about him. then you will know for sure. if he just wants you as a fuck buddy, then you have to decide if that is good enough for you.

    from the way it sounds though, i think that if he was interested, he would have made it known. but if you need to know for sure, just tell him how you feel (it can be as simple as "can we go on a date sometime" or "i like you and would like to date you") and then you will know for sure.
     
  25. vodka_lover

    vodka_lover OT Supporter

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    how do you play hard to get? please teach me lol
    i definitely don't sleep around but i guess i make my interest known pretty early which hasnt worked to my advantage in the past :greddy:
     

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