SRS Turning a friend into a girlfriend

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SovietRussia, Jan 5, 2006.

  1. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i dont really have too awful many girl friends, that i would call out of the blue and see if they wanna kick it without (at least myself) having some sort of romantic intentions. it seems though usually that when a girl is brought into my group of friends, i am basically auto-friendzoned and so i would feel akward asking her out.

    this one in particular, we kinda dated for a little while, and then she decided we were too far apart, well, she moved to the same town i live in for a job. nothing meticulated between us romantically, although i hadnt tried anything (besides a little flirting, which i dont think i am too good at so she might not have gotten the hint :o) so now i dont really know what to do, but i think about her a lot, and we have a good time hanging out, although when we do, it usually isnt just the 2 of us. i am not too good at making small talk. :o :o

    ideas?
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    It's always a tough situation. The closer friends you are, the bigger chance you have of ruining it if you confessed up. If she's not getting the hint you don't have too many choices left. You could get another friend to give a bigger hint (basically flat out telling her about their suspicion of you liking her) and see how that goes. If that doesn't work, you just gotta tell her straight up I suppose..
     
  3. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    First off, forget all about that stupid fucking friendzone crap. You don't know what her thoughts are until you try.... no "ladder theory" or men's magazine can fomulaically tell you that.

    Next time you get the chance, see if you can ask her out to dinner or something just as the two of you. When you ask, though, make a point of telling her you want it to be just you and her. If she accepts, that's already somewhat of a clue that you may be in the clear to make your move.

    As far as making "small talk" being difficult, just figure out some common stuff y'all share, or maybe even just some questions to ask her about herself that you don't already know. Let that control the flow of the conversation. Keep her talking, and interject where necessary.

    Another idea if talking "face to face" looking at each other makes you nervous, but you're fine when you aren't looking at her (I sometimes used to have that problem due to the eye contact being intimidating) is to try asking her to go to dinner at someplace special that you wanted to try, that is out of town. That way you have a long-ish ride in the car to get where you're going and to get back; and you have the perfect excuse not to look at her much (since you have to pay attention to your driving). I found that to work well, and usually I was comfortable enough by the time I'd get to the restaurant that I could still carry on while looking at her/into her eyes. Just a thought.
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Frankly I've never seen that idea work "in person." I was the "bearer of news" to a girl at one time, and she instantly got super pissed. "Why couldn't the sorry lame bastard just tell me himself?! And why are you doing his dirty work instead of dragging his ass over to tell me out of his own mouth?! You tell him that I would never go out with his sorry little pussy-ass if he were the last guy on earth, not unless he grows the balls to take care of his own business."

    See my point? I think I may have had an extreme case for my scenario, but still I think most girls don't exactly respect or appreciate a guy who can't man up and deal with his own relationships.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's easier to turn a male friend into a boyfriend than a female friend into a girlfriend.

    The exception being that, if said girl has low self-esteem issues, it's usually quite easy.
     
  6. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Unfortunatly true :sad2:
     
  7. salamandersushi

    salamandersushi New Member

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    Doesnt that mean that she likes you? I seriously think you should take a leap of faith - take a look at what you have to lose and what you have to gain.

    lose: umm...

    gain: a girl that you obviously like and get along with...

    :wiggle:
     
  8. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    lose: i guess i always have this fear or rejection, and its not really a normal one either. i for some reason think that, if i get rejected, that everyone will laugh at me. :o i dont really know where that comes from, but its usually enough to keep me away from a girl if i think that might happen. :noes:
     
  9. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Why the hell would anyone else even have to even know? Just ask her in private, and if she says no, nobody else saw; so nobody else can laugh.

    And besides that, who the hell cares if they DO laugh. If they're that fucking shallow and stupid, they were never your friends anyways.
     
  10. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i will be hangin out with this girl tonight (drinkin) with some other friends...ideas?
     
  11. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    i was friends with a girl for about 2 years and our friendship grew closer throughout that time, even while i was 3 hours away for school. After i graduated and moved back home we became even closer friends, best friends actually. We both knew there was an attraction more than friendship but i dont know if both of us were too timid to approach it or whatever, but one night at our local bar we got into a fight in the parking lot about why we just didn't take the next step. We've been together 1-1/2 yrs. now and things are great.

    My suggestion, don't try to force anything unless you feel that it's the right moment/timing.
     

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