TTAC - GMC Envoy

Discussion in 'OT Driven' started by TriShield, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

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    [​IMG]

    By Samir Syed
    June 27, 2007

    You gotta love a truck division started by a guy named Max Grabowski. Hi! I'm Max Grabowski. I make trucks. What could be more American than that? Fast forward one hundred and six years and I’m face-to-face to face with a GMC SUV named after a diplomat with dubious powers. Go figure. And riddle me this Batman: why in the name of modern science is this four-wheeled Neanderthal still for sale at the tail end of the double-o's?

    There is so much to dislike about the base Envoy that I wish to state for the record that it is by no means the worst vehicle ever sold by GM. (Rest easy TWAT fans; the Uplanderelay’s crown of thorns is safe.) Of course, that’s a bit like saying “Sure, Michael Vick was involved with dog fighting. At least he doesn’t support vivisection.”

    OK, looks. The Envoy isn’t meant to be a pretty truck. And by God, it isn’t. It's not that's it's ugly. It's just that it's dull. So dull it's almost an archetype. SUV. Big, boxy and vaguely macho. Done.

    That said, the Envoy’s panel gaps my only "real" complaint; they're large enough to accommodate an illegal immigrant. While some might appreciate GMC's sheetmetal homaqe to the Land Rover Defender, you've got to wonder how the company dared offer such blunderbuss construction in this age of robots and millimeter-perfect panel fitment.

    Inside, it’s back to the future– I mean the past. Unlike Doc Brown’s DeLorean, the Envoy’s excursion to a simpler time begins well before the SUV reaches 88 mph. As soon as you sit down, you’re faced with a series of ugly knobs, ticky-tacky plastics and seriously kitsch faux wood trim. As Scarlet O'Hara might have said, why it's so horrendous it's quaint!

    Everywhere the discerning eye looks, it lands upon a thoroughly retro lack of effort. The Envoy’s radio’s head unit comes straight from a ‘60’s sci-fi flick. The SUV’s gear lever restricts access to the HVAC controls. The center armrest is made of concrete. The glove box is useless. And the two center vents look like puppy dog eyes, imploring you to put them out of their misery.

    The Envoy SLE’s seats offer up the type of thinly-padded insult only a Ford Ranger owner could love. OK, endure. My gluteus was maximized after just 90 minutes of highway driving.

    Thankfully, the Envoy spares its driver said torture by reaching its destination briskly. Ye Olde 4.2-liter inline six still knows how to twist (277 ft.-lbs) and shout (291hp). Even better, the engine delivers its power smoothly right across the rev range, helping the 4967lbs. leviathan scoot from zero to 60mph in under nine seconds.

    Going up hill with the [optional] 4WD system engaged, the Envoy begins to breathe hard– but in no way runs out of breath. No question: the GMC SUV is a capable “trailblazer.” Provided those trails don’t require more than eight to nine inches of ground clearance, you’re OK using all-season tires in the outback and you don’t mind carrying a few large cans of highly explosive liquid in the back (14/20 mpg), the wilderness awaits.

    As far as on-road handling is concerned, remember that the Envoy is a once-upon-a-time body-on-frame design. It’s terrific for towing (6300lbs.) and lousy for anything else.
    Obviously, no one in their right mind would expect the Envoy to offer the car-like capabilities of a Rav4 or a CR-V, and the Envoy's ride quality is certainly up-to-snuff. But to fully grasp the full awfulness of the Envoy’s handling dynamics, we must leave the automotive universe.

    At highway cruising speeds, the Envoy feels like a diesel locomotive riding on rusted rails. Turn the wheel and… nothing. The Envoy simply plunges forward (technical term: understeer). Like a train, it's best to apply a great deal of brake force (i.e. as much as you can) before reaching an obstacle– a term which the Envoy expands to include turns.

    If and when the Envoy finally enters a corner, it leans in an entirely unsettling fashion (both physically and emotionally). Suffice it to say (by now), the Envoy’s handling is so atrocious that you have to wonder if its creation predates GM’s legal department.

    After sampling the Envoy SLE, I tried to think of one reason why the GMC Envoy shouldn’t immediately receive the same doctoring that shuffled Old Yeller off this mortal coil. Let’s see… The Envoy’s got a rough-and-tumble frame and optional 4WD system and not enough clearance to use it. It’s ugly, thirsty, cramped and nasty. At $27k, it’s expensive for what it is (isn’t?).

    Nope. Can’t do it. I’m with Forbes magazine. It advises readers seeking something sportier, more stylish, reliable or economical to keep looking. Hey, who wouldn’t?


    [​IMG]

    http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/?p=4013
     
  2. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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  3. bubbaZR2

    bubbaZR2 i poop too much, then i get tired... OT Supporter

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    the envoy has been out for how long, and they are reviewing it now?
     
  4. KIDRR

    KIDRR Duck dog>* OT Supporter

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    Thank you, finally an honest review.
     
  5. JohnnyBeagle

    JohnnyBeagle OT Supporter

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    The Trailblazer SS is the ONLY GMT360/70 platform based truck worth even giving second thought to.
     
  6. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

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    It's amazing what sins high-performance will wash away.

    The LS2 is really like the blood of Jesus, cleansing the GMT360 and giving it eternal life with collectors and enthusiasts.
     
  7. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    Yeah, my friend has one.

    The carpet has weird lump in the backseat, the dash rattles and the headliner doesn't fit right.

    but hey, at least its fast. :hsugh:
     
  8. JohnnyBeagle

    JohnnyBeagle OT Supporter

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    I have one.

    The drivetrain hump doesn't bother me, my dash doesn't rattle, and my headliner is proper all around. :dunno:

    It's got a shit interior, but it autocrosses, rallycrosses, drag races, and hauls all of my stuff and motorcycles around

    fit my needs pretty well yay
     
  9. JohnnyBeagle

    JohnnyBeagle OT Supporter

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    When I brought my X5 4.4i in for service they gave me a loaner I6 trailblazer because I was like 18 at the time and they didn't want to give me a good car. I brought it back after a day or two because I thought it handled like crap and was a complete shit truck.

    Here I am with the SS variant now :rofl:

    edit: I'm afraid to mod it more because I'm scurred of the tranny

    pos GM 4 speed
     
  10. P07r0457

    P07r0457 New Member

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    :werd: 4L60E ftl.

    Buy a 6L90!
     
  11. JohnnyBeagle

    JohnnyBeagle OT Supporter

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    I really want a Saab 9-7x interior
     
  12. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    i'm not talking about the drivetrain hump.

    i'm talking about a spot in the carpet where the carpet sticks up and there is nothing but air below it. you step on it, it flattens out for a minute, then goes back up.
     
  13. JohnnyBeagle

    JohnnyBeagle OT Supporter

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    :rofl: wtf shit build
     

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