TTAC - Ford Crown Victoria

Discussion in 'OT Driven' started by TriShield, Jul 9, 2007.

  1. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2001
    Messages:
    132,732
    Likes Received:
    1,593
    Location:
    PRESIDENTIAL TOWER, GREAT AGAIN, NY
    [​IMG]

    By Alex Dykes
    July 9, 2007

    If cars were ordered by the foot, then the Ford Crown Victoria is exactly what you’d get if you walked into a Ford dealer and said “I’d like 17.6 feet of car please.” Other than length, Ford’s fleet-duty work horse has absolutely no outstanding features what-so-ever and very few features worth mentioning. Still, the Crown Vic and its panther playmates (the Mercury Grand Marquis and Lincoln Town Car) are perennial favorites among fleet buyers and, uh, fleet buyers. In fact, in anticipation of its removal from the retail field of battle, the Ford website doesn’t even list the Crown Victoria under “passenger cars.” Should they?

    If you discount the original 1955 Ford Fairlane variant, the Crown Victoria’s lineage stretches back to 1992. In the intervening 28 years, Ford nipped and tucked the full-size model’s sheetmetal to keep it vaguely semi-modern. Like Cher, the Crown Vic’s constant plastic surgery masks the model’s age well— as long as you don’t look at it too closely or for too long.

    The Crown Victoria has a gi-normous hood and Mafia-sized trunk, with a classically low greenhouse squeezed in between. Large headlights, a [comparatively] demure grill and optional push bar round out the ancient classic styling. This antithesis of “cab-forward” design is actually somewhat appealing, in a wannabe cop/cabbie sort of way. And don’t forget the bonus: everyone THINKS you’re a cop. (Even cops.) You can either travel [slowly] in a bubble of law abiding folks, or blow through them looking suitably stern.

    Once you realize the Crown Victoria isn’t a police car—well, THIS one isn’t– the recognition hits: this IS your grandfather’s Ford. Sure, the corners have been rounded off a bit, but the Vic’s minuscule gauge cluster, endlessly flat plastic dashboard, bench seating for a sextuplet and column shifter all point to prehistoric DNA. 1980s flash backs include: faux wood trim that’s not “fauxin” anyone, and velour (!) Barcalounger seats.

    The Vic’s blue-light-special pricing precludes nifty toys. Dual zone climate control? No and no. Bluetooth? What’s that? MP3? Nope. Still, the radio will pick up AM Gold clear across the square states and adjustable pedals are the sciatica sufferer’s best friend. The Crown Vic’s trump card: a cavernous rear compartment that seats three large adults without the slightest complaint (unless they’re wearing handcuffs). The Vic’s high roofline means that 6’4” linebackers and 4’6” grannies with 20” blue-beehives are accommodated with equal ease.

    [​IMG]

    Hoods this epic used to indicate something wicked this way driveth. Alas, that equation went the way of the pet rock. This barge gets FoMoCo’s 4.6-liter modular V8. The tried and true OHC mill cranks-out a meager 224hp and 262 ft-lbs of twist. Crank up the eight-cylinder mill and the ‘Vic charms with a surprisingly quiet and civilized nature. The V8 burbles smoothly. Plenty o’ sound insulation keeps the clamor of the outside world at bay.

    Mash the Vic’s throttle and Ford’s brick-on-wheels scoots from zero to 60mph in a respectable 8.4 seconds. Thanks to rear wheel-drive and decent on-tap twist, the truly dedicated hoon (who wouldn’t be seen dead in a Vic) can elicit Mustang-like oversteer and parking brake turns with shocking ease. If you have fond memories of abusing your folk’s Country Squire on the way to school, this whip is for you.

    With Cretaceous-era DNA, a 17-year-old V8 and a tiller that serves-up about as much road feel as a hovercraft, it’s no surprise that the Crown Vic hustles down the road like Officer Doughnut.
    (There’s a reason why every 70’s cop show chase scene had loads of tire squeal.) On the positive side, the Crown Vic rides on a surprisingly firm suspension. It’s no corner carver, but neither is it a floaty drifty automotive schooner.

    For the 26 large [or less with the inevitable discounts], the Crown Vic buyer gets more cylinders than the competition, a trunk suitable for cadaver transport and fuel economy that is not as bad as it could be. But don’t get me wrong: I come here to bury the Crown Victoria, not to praise it. The 4057 pound sedan is all barge and no luxo. Anyone who sees this vehicle as the key to Ford’s turnaround needs to check the color of their mood ring and think again.

    I reckon it’s a good thing that the Ford Crown Victoria is destined for fleet-only sale. The ’08 Taurus– whose predecessor was relegated to the fleets before its recent (if entirely nominal) resurrection– packs more power, better fuel economy, AWD and more cargo/passenger room. Still, if Ford can reinvent the Five Hundred as a Taurus then maybe they can find something worthy of reinventing as the “new” Crown Victoria. I nominate the Jaguar XJ.

    [​IMG]

    http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/?p=4081
     
  2. herpes

    herpes OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Messages:
    135,004
    Likes Received:
    172
    Location:
    dfw
    in for this. should be good.
     
  3. Moonlight Graham

    Moonlight Graham New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    58,545
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
  4. Crossett

    Crossett New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2003
    Messages:
    13,472
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In my mind
    :gives:

    it's still a good police/fbi/taxi/old person car. was it ever supposed to be anything more?
     
  5. yofmatt

    yofmatt New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2005
    Messages:
    41,965
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    L.A.X
    224hp, wowsers
     
  6. SpectreMatrix

    SpectreMatrix New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2004
    Messages:
    4,069
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tacoma, Wa
    I like the fact that they are complete bullshit with no handling.. it evens the odds on the highway
     
  7. Cock Diesel

    Cock Diesel New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2007
    Messages:
    23,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somewhere.
    A 5.4 Triton with about 320hp would do some good. So would wrapping all that shit up in either the 427 or Interceptor concept body. Replace the Town Car with the Continental concept and give it a kickass 6.0 or larger V8. Kill the Grandmaquis -- nobody gives a shit anymore.

    Of course, Ford ain't gonna do all that shit. And I think the CV's a fleet-only deal, now.
     
  8. yofmatt

    yofmatt New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2005
    Messages:
    41,965
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    L.A.X
    it would be better not to have a car with a prior reputation to try to improve upon to target a new demographic. It's pointless; they need a new angle and a new model that doesn't suck 100% ass.
     
  9. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2001
    Messages:
    132,732
    Likes Received:
    1,593
    Location:
    PRESIDENTIAL TOWER, GREAT AGAIN, NY
    www.ford.com.au/falcon

    They already make a ripping RWD car, they just need to sell it here.
     
  10. DOBERMAN

    DOBERMAN New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2006
    Messages:
    21,338
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Hills - SoCal
    How much HP do the pig interceptors make?
     
  11. DefBringer

    DefBringer Ronnie, if I don't do this, *that's* when I'm goin

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2005
    Messages:
    15,364
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas City, MO
    I like driving those. I don't care what anybody says, it's a reliable, solid car.
     
  12. Mr Bridge

    Mr Bridge New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2003
    Messages:
    3,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    I've always wanted to buy an old police interceptor
     
  13. Cock Diesel

    Cock Diesel New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2007
    Messages:
    23,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somewhere.
    They said the same thing about the Taurus when they replaced it with the Five Hundred nameplate.

    And now they're back to "Taurus". What a waste.
     
  14. Cock Diesel

    Cock Diesel New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2007
    Messages:
    23,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somewhere.
    230-250hp.

    Try to find ones used as unmarked units. Regular squad cars are put through hell 11ty times over.
     
  15. BLoG

    BLoG Scented Meat

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2001
    Messages:
    293,903
    Likes Received:
    2,966
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    if they just updated it with the mustang 3v 4.6 it would be a huge improvement. :hs:
     
  16. DOBERMAN

    DOBERMAN New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2006
    Messages:
    21,338
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Hills - SoCal
    rly?

    How the fuck do they keep up in chases?
     
  17. BLoG

    BLoG Scented Meat

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2001
    Messages:
    293,903
    Likes Received:
    2,966
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    because people who drive flat-out will crash before they lose a single cop.
    and motorola will always be faster than ford :o
     
  18. August Burns

    August Burns New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2004
    Messages:
    4,435
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cook County
    . many taxis have well over 200k on them. Sure the looks havent changed much over the years, but underneath it is constantly updated.
     
  19. BLoG

    BLoG Scented Meat

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2001
    Messages:
    293,903
    Likes Received:
    2,966
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    they can't give all the cops really fast cars anyway. They will crash the fuck out of them :o
     
  20. Cock Diesel

    Cock Diesel New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2007
    Messages:
    23,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somewhere.
    Teamwork, coordination, driver skill, police radios, the inevitable fuckups made by fleeing suspects, etc.

    European cops in Astras, 307s, etc, don't have any more trouble catching perps than we do, and those cars have even less HP.
     
  21. yofmatt

    yofmatt New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2005
    Messages:
    41,965
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    L.A.X
    fuck it, i'd buy that :dunno:
     
  22. krott5333

    krott5333 Guest

    I still love the Crown Vic.. if i had some extra cash laying around, I'd buy one.
     
  23. yofmatt

    yofmatt New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2005
    Messages:
    41,965
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    L.A.X
    on top of that, the people running from cops don't necessarily keep their cars in tip-top condition. Worn tires, worn engines, worn brakes, blown shocks, and the car is usually a fucking astrovan to begin with :rofl:
     
  24. Aviv

    Aviv OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    16,401
    Likes Received:
    102
    Location:
    CLE
    Bashing the Crown Vic is like bashing the E-series van. Who are you trying to offend? Taxi Drivers and old people who are probably glad that young people don't like their cars?
     
  25. Cock Diesel

    Cock Diesel New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2007
    Messages:
    23,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somewhere.
    Replace the E-series with the Transit. Decent range of engines, plus a smaller Powerstroke could be whipped up for it. Dunno if you can squeeze a 5.4 into the engine bay, though.
     

Share This Page