Trying to plan a trip

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by knucks, May 30, 2008.

  1. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    So I am trying to plan a trip for the gf and I. I get the impression she's not being proactive about it at all.

    She just took a week off work (she's an intern) for when she was in Florida with her mom and thinks she can't approach her boss asking about when/how long she can take off for next.

    I don't have as much of a responsibility at work and can approach my boss whenever about whatever.

    So anyways, I've been doing research, trying to plug in hypothetical dates for flights or places to stay to get a sense of how much it would cost me and whether I need to put in more hours to make money for it. I told her about the trip a week ago when she was in Florida and she told me she'd talk to her boss come Tuesday. Every day since Tuesday this week she has been unable to do so because she says her boss has been busy (sure, I understand).

    I'm getting frustrated about it and she's getting worked up about me pursuing the issue, but I want to get this shit figured out..

    Do I just say fuck it, stop looking things up, and wait for her to do her part? I feel like she hasn't done anything because she's non-confrontational and isn't proactive about others things in life as well (going on BC, making time for the gym, etc etc)

    /rant
     
  2. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    Dude she JUST TOOK vacation.... jobs are not happy if you take a week every month. i work at a place where you can take whatever but they still dont like to see you gone. your working there for a reason. im guessing she does not get paid vacation
     
  3. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    her not getting paid vacation has nothing to do with this
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    i believe the point is:

    they hired her for a reason (to do the job) and it may be difficult for her to get another week off when she just took a week

    her employer also has to consider co-workers who may decide that they too want time off, before long everyone is gone on vacation

    IMO, she does not want to take another week anytime soon. If it wasn't a big deal, she would have taken care of it by now I would think
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    dude, sit down and fucking think about this. She's an intern...she's not exactly high up on the perks list. She JUST took a week off. Her job is most likely important to her...if not for the job itself, but for the experience the internship is giving her.

    I think that if I were an employer, and had an intern approach me for time off just after a week's vacation, I'd turn them down at best, and at worst, I'd be annoyed with them for even presuming they could get it.

    And since someone brought up paid vacation...I work in an entry level position for a human services agency....full time, so I do get benefits. I earn basically 8 hours of PTO per month of work. So, if I take a week off, it's going to be about 5 months before I can take off another week.

    You're going to have to wait at least a few months before she can go with you.
     
  6. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    I guess I didn't think of it being as such a big deal because my job is really lax in terms of that. I can approach my boss whenever and asks for days off. I'm more like extra help to them. Besides, when I first got the job (it's through the University) school came first, job came second, and they acknowledge that.

    If it is what you say it's like, Matt, I won't be taking a trip with her at all as she leaves for ANOTHER internship, August 13th, out-of-state.

    Which leaves me to basically take a trip by myself, if at all.

    I guess I shouldn't bring it up at all again because it'd only end up in me saying "You shouldn't have taken a week off for Florida."


    YAY for another summer spent at home. :ugh:
     
  7. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    Internship = NO TIME OFF FOR THAT PERIOD

    Intern are there cause the company wants to see if they would make good future employees.... you work hard and in the end you might get a good job

    now if you take time off all the time you will not get a good job in the end

    i dont know if you know this or not but your are not moe important than her future.... ODDS are you will be GONE from her future soon IF you DONT PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!! Just cause you want to take her some where doesnt mean you can.... Fuck take a weekend trip if its that important to you... but get over yourself
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    she spent a week with her mom and had girl time

    get some buddies and go to vegas or cancun or whatever for some guy time
     
  9. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Well I would have liked her to take 2-3 days off, make a long weekend out of it.

    I guess I understand what all of you are saying, I'm basically just venting.

    Thing is, she's always been passive about things. We originally were supposed to take a trip about a year ago but she never talked to her mom about finding the deals she had for flights so that never amounted to anything. I feel that this is the same thing here. Maybe not. I don't know./
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    The thing you have to remember, is that something will ALWAYS come first. Could be school, could be work, but very very very rarely are you going to find someone who is willing and/or able to put their life on hold without some good advance notice, just for you.

    The reason your gf is avoiding talking to her boss/making excuses/whatever is because she is thinking, but does not want to come outright saying it "My internship/job/career is more important than going on this vacation. I'm not going to risk it just to placate him."

    If it were me in a similar situation, I would say to my g, "Hey, it's not that I don't want to go on vacation with you, it's that I simply can't without risking my job. I'm not willing to lose my financial security at this point. If you really want to be with me, you will understand this, and wait til we are able to go together".

    In short...this is how life works. Hopefully you can learn a lot from this (because really, it's not a big deal) and grow and mature from it.
     
  11. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    do you want her to take charge of the relationship?

    she may not admit it, but she likely considers this to be your responsibility - to make the plans for the trip that you will take together

    when i was in florida my wife came to visit me and I spent at least 8 solid hours planning everything out ahead of time for a trip to miami - from the travel, to getting around in miami using public transportation, where to go and what to do

    it was much more enjoyable for her because she was free to enjoy the adventure without making any decisions and all of the activities were things we mutually enjoy

    basically all she should have to do is make sure to request off work a few months ahead of time - you tell her you are planning a trip for the two of you on these date and she will need to be available if she wants to go
     
  12. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Right, but she has not requested time off. That's what bothers me about the whole thing.
    I asked her where she wanted to go, she said "Somewhere fun, lets do the big city thing."
    That's fine by me, I need to know when she can take time off so I can do the rest of the planning.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First of all, calm down. The girl just took a vacation, I don't blame her for being less than adament about finding out days later from her boss when he wouldn't mind her taking ANOTHER week off. It's great that your work schedule is so lenient but the world doesn't revolve aorund you. You should be looking to go on this vacation in the Fall (say....around Labor Day because you get an extra day off).

    More importantly, you need to actually come up with an idea of where to go and what to do before you even pick dates!

    I am a vacation nut :run: I'm already planning my next one as we speak so I need to ask you some questions.

    *Overall, how much money can you spend (this includes possible flight tickets, hotel stays, etc.)?

    *What do you guys like to do? Are you big fans of the outdoors? Love the water? Love fun nightlife?

    *How long can this trip be? I'm going to assume only a week but I'll wait to get the answer from you.

    *What city/state do you guys live in?

    Those are just some questions for now.
     
  14. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    We're looking into the big city ordeal, the cheaper the better. We'd be staying with my family friends or relatives or just friends we have around the states.

    So far the best bet is Chicago, but New York is the number one choice for a little getaway.

    Trip cannot occur in the Fall. She leaves for Florida for a semester in August.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You never answered my first and fourth question
     
  16. aim2kill

    aim2kill New Member

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    wow, plus one for militaty benefits. i live my 2.5 days off per month even though i cant just take them whenever i want.:hs:
     
  17. aim2kill

    aim2kill New Member

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    :werd:
     
  18. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Look on www.farecast.com and just search google for like "Flight deals from Los Angeles"

    If we stay w/ friends or relatives, I'd like the total cost of airfare/driving to be not much more than $350 for the both of us. We're currently in Detroit,Michigan.
    Less money spent on transportation = more money on dinner, shopping, etc.
     

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