trying to get over it

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by kilona, Jun 27, 2005.

  1. kilona

    kilona New Member

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    i've never asked advice online before, but i really don't know what else to do. i broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years about 3 months ago bc i wasn't happy. these 3 months have been a crazy mix of trying to be friends, hooking back up, not speaking to eachother, etc. it's been all kinda up in the air. finally about a week ago we foreal ended things. like can't see eachother or speak, delete phone numbers, block each other out of our lives. this has hit me so hard. i have been just totally spaced out, disfunctional, physically sick to my stomach, i hyperventilate and cry, get completely silent and dazed all of sudden, i can't concentrate or do summer school or work, and feel incredibly depressed all the time. what i'm wondering is whether these are "getting-over-a-serious-relationship-is-really-painful" feelings or they are "idiot-you-are-supposed-to-be-with-him" feelings. ugh, i need to figure this out before it is too late. if it isn't too late already. help?
     
  2. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    honestly, its hard. its really hard to get over a serious relationship. At this point it's even tougher on you because your emotions are all over the place. As far as which feeling you think it is, i think it is too early to tell. Sometimes it takes being apart to figure out what you really want. It really isn't a process that you can rush. For now you should try to be strong and not contact each other for a while. After a while things will become clearer and you will figure out what you really want.
     
  3. zysus

    zysus New Member

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    Keep your distance. Let the fog clear (this might take months...it's very personal). Evaluate what's really there (or not there). Then make a descision about what YOU want. Then figure out if it jives w/ what the other person wants. Go from there.
     
  4. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    im in the same shoes as you. I don't want to do anything at all. I just sit there and space out. Its quite a sad sight :( but hopefully time will make it better.
     
  5. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    Try to keep yourself busy and hang around friends as much as you can.
     
  6. sipherx

    sipherx Jamesl.info

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    You will know inside you what you want once everything clears up, keep ya head up. :)
     
  7. twofourtysx

    twofourtysx New Member

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    About 6 months ago I broke up with my girl of 1.5 years and we are just now becoming friends again, which I'm not sure is going to work out or not. But if you want it and the feelings to end then you need to be apart and dont talk. The friend thing right after you break up NEVER works. Stay away for a while
     
  8. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

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    :werd:
    the reason you feel that way is cause he's all you've really known for the last couple years of your life. and change is always difficult.
    but that's what friends are for--go hang out and have fun. the worst thing you can do is be alone. it might be easy to think about your ex, but it's not very constructive. avoid it at all costs!
     
  9. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    I agree with everyone here, cut your ties and keep your distance. It will sting... a lot. I think these are just the "getting-over-a-serious-relationship-is-really-painful" feelings. Try it for about six months, not talking, and then see how you feel. Keep you entire life seperate though. Tell mutual friends that you dont want to hear about him. Delete him from myspace (if you are on) etc. Make sure you wont see or even hear his name for a long time until the pain goes away. Don't dwell on it either. Go out with your friends, and create a hobby! It sounds silly, but it works. Breakin up is hard too0o0 do!!
     
  10. kilona

    kilona New Member

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    thanks everyone. i have been keeping my distance. distractions are good, but are so temporary. but what happens if in the 6 months we are apart i realize i want to be with him and he doesn't feel the same? but i also don't want to go back to the gray area of no closure bc that is unfair. we had 3 months of maybe/maybe not and now we stated that its definately not, but i dont believe that. i'm still uncertain and hate lying to him saying that its over. but i dont know what else to do. ahhh. i dont know if that made sense. sorry.
     
  11. JP®

    JP® New Member

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    Then it was never ment to be and you should move on.
     
  12. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    agreed, its something you cant force at this point. If you both really want it after 6 months then you will have it.
     
  13. sipherx

    sipherx Jamesl.info

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    To be honest if you end up not being with this guy over the next 6 months, do yourself a favor and try to find someone else. You will probably end up regretting gettin back with him after such a long time because the same stuff may happen again and then your heart will be broken even more.
     
  14. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    me and my ex broke up about 2.5 months ago. the first month or so was REALLY hard. now i have times where i dont think about her at all, and sometimes when i cant stop thinking about her. however, im past the stage where i want her back. right now it is me being pissed off at myself for staying with someone like her, being blinded by her, and wasting 1.5 years of my life.

    just stay busy, hang out with friends, try to find a job, etc.

    it was hard for me especially, since i basically neglected my friends while i was dating her, so i had to start my social life from scratch.
     
  15. Sexican

    Sexican New Member

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    I posted the same problem, as has 328723723 other people. You hear the same things, but you don't want to believe them and you want to think that your situation is out of the ordinary and no one else experiences it. Wrong.

    I can't express enough that there are 2 things that will make you feel alot better. Time and Space.

    I broke up with my girlfriend that I loved tremendously, and I know you can't just pick up and move...but I moved out of state, and it went alot easier. You're going to want to "accidently" meet up with him, or try to be around in in some shape or form, but you need to be strong. Time will heal, and space from him will heal. Trust me.
     
  16. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    You seem like the kind of pussy that would do that.
     
  17. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    i was young and stupid :hs:
     
  18. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    Was?

    It was 2 months ago :ugh2:
     
  19. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    now im just young and sliglty stupid :hs:
     

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