Trying to get a new girl...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CaLAbria, Nov 28, 2006.

  1. CaLAbria

    CaLAbria New Member

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    Theres a new girl that came to my school this semester. She just moved to Cali from the east coast. Ive seen her a few times walking around the campus and i think shes a good looking girl which got me caught up with her. I have a few of here friends in some of my classes, but there not the most outgoing people and im not mr.outgoing either. Yet, this girl is not in any of my classes and i rarley see her on campus, maybe during a break. How should i go about this situation because im clueless in these kinda situations.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    if you want to go on a date with her, ask her out on a date. Be sure to use the word "date" so she knows that's what your looking for.

    She'll either say yes or no.
     
  3. CaLAbria

    CaLAbria New Member

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    I can do that-but i dont even know her...at all. That would be just a little weird for me and her.
     
  4. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Notice something about her or something going on around her, walk up to her and talk to her. Make some SMALL talk, and if she's responsive, tell her that you should get together sometime and tell her to give you her phone number. Don't think too much about it, and don't worry so much about what may or may not happen.
     
  5. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    The purpose of the date is to get to know her!
     
  6. CaLAbria

    CaLAbria New Member

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    Ill try this, i found out shes italian and shes from jersey. That can help out with some small talk cause im italian and had family in jersey. Its hard though, cause its rare to see her and when i do shes walking the other way. I guess a casual 'Hey' will start it off.
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    sometimes life is a little weird! is that your goal in life - to avoid anything that is a little weird?

    you have to get out of that comfort zone.
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    save the small talk for the date. next time you see her, get her phone number. then call for the date. keep it simple.
     
  9. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    First and foremost... DO NOT mention that you know she's from NJ and she's Italian. She'll think you're a total creep. In fact, theres a good chance that she already knows you're asking sabout her.



    Unless he's displaying a lot of confidence through his body language and voice tone, just straight up getting her phone number will probably be tough for him to pull off. You never know though.

    Edit: And by small talk, I did not mean details about each other's lives! What I meant was maybe noticing something about her, what shes doing- whatever. Tease her about it, get her laughing, smiling, tell her you have to get going, and get the number.
     
  10. CaLAbria

    CaLAbria New Member

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    Meh, i would rather start off slow then end fast if she says no. I get to know the girl before i ask them out on dates. The hard part is the approach, speically with someone that doesnt know me and i dont know her.
    The jersey and italian part come later of course, just saying, we have something in common that can come up in a conversation.
     
  11. CaLAbria

    CaLAbria New Member

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    ah, use some of the "game" on her, forgot about some of the game tips.
    in that book does it say anthing about the approach?
     
  12. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Do you want to her to label you as asexual? Start off the way you want to, and you'll be "just a friend" to her. Get to know her BEFORE you go on a date with her? Whats the purpose of the date?
     
  13. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    I wouldn't think of that as a game... its being fun! As far as telling her you have to get going- too many guys try and talk to the girl for as long as possible, let the conversation die out, then try to get the phone number. End the interaction on a high note.
     
  14. CaLAbria

    CaLAbria New Member

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    I just wanted a good way to make the first move to let her know im interested in her. By asking her on a date the first time i meet her, to me thats taking it a little far.
     
  15. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Don't ask her on a date- get her phone number and then ask her on a date. You do not want her to think of you as a friend. Starting off as friends and then trying to date her doesn't work. If a woman isn't attracted to you right from the start, she never will be. So if she is attracted to you, she'll have no problem with you trying to go on a date with her.
     
  16. CaLAbria

    CaLAbria New Member

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    This is pretty true, even though ive had friends that were girls and they wanted to go out with me...:mamoru: im good like that. she is one of those quiet types, which makes it hard. i also checker her myspace, and she still has pics of her old bf saying 'i love you'. so im not sure anymore if shes single or still going out with a college freshman on the east coast?
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    dude,

    stop worrying so much. Who gives a crap what her myspace says? She'll tell you if she's single or not!
     
  18. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Did you have sex with any of the girl friends that wanted to go out with you? Dude, stop asking about her and checking her myspace- just ask if she's single and get the phone number.
     
  19. CaLAbria

    CaLAbria New Member

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    no, the girls that are my friends didnt appeal to me, either there personailty or attraction, we just never had it. but i guess some of the girls thought we did...
    ya, cant worry. i just gota ask
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    You've got to be willing to crash and burn.

    Initially I got very nervous when asking for a phone number, to the point that sometimes I would want to, but would not actually do it when I had the opportunity.

    The more you talk to girls and ask for phone numbers and ask them on dates, the easier it will be and the more confident you will become.

    Keep it simple. You are overthinking every detail. Your analysis is causing paralysis :)

    You should also examine your internal beliefs concerning the opposite sex. It is 100% a natural thing for you to approach a woman and attempt to get her contact info to set up a date. Do you believe this deep inside, or do you believe you are somehow doing something wrong because you aren't sure if she wants you to ask her out?

    Its your job as a man to make the approach, get the number, and invite her on the date. From there its on her to give the number, answer the phone, agree to the date, and make herself available. If she fails at any of these steps, she is either not interested or not available (her loss!). You move on to the next girl.
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I agree. This is an area that is difficult for me address because I have learned how to tell when a woman is attracted to me. Most of the success I have had involved the woman coming to me versus me chasing her down and doing a cold approach.

    I believe that all men trigger attraction in at least some women. The trick is learning to recognize it and then do the things necessary for a successful date (get the number, plan the date, invite her on the date). Simple but very effective.

    I also don't believe we can tell him in this thread how to get this SPECIFIC GIRL attracted to him, so imo his best chance is a simple approach that focuses on getting the number, then getting out of there before his mouth has a chance to fuck it up. So she is either already attracted to him and will jump at the chance to go on a date to see what he is like, or she is unavailable or has low interest and will give the number most likely then flake out later.

    The key is not to get your inner-child hurt over this "rejection" should it happen. What exactly do you have to lose?
     
  22. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Whoa, slow down folks.

    The simple way to meet her is as follows:

    1. Every time you see her, say Hi and keep on walking. Smile, hold your head up, give her eye contact until she breaks it. Don't stare at her otherwise. Even if she has her head down, or is looking away, say hi loud enough so she hears you.
    2. After about the 3rd time, say Hi and call her by name (i.e., "Hi Ashley.")
    3. Keep doing that until she says hi back AND calls you by name. The trick here is now she has gone out and found out who you are, and you've created a little mystery for her.
    4. At some point when you see her in line for lunch, waiting for a class, whatever, walk up and say Hi and make some small talk. Say "Hi Ashley, how goes? You do anything fun this weekend? [blah] Hey, do you know of any parties going on Friday? I'm looking for something to do with a few friends of mine." Go from there.

    Treat her like a friend you know, but just haven't seen in a while. Be calm, casual, make small talk.

    Note: The LESS you talk, the LONGER you will last. Ask her questions, then poke fun at her answers. Don't give her serious answers to her questions. Do NOT talk about cars, computers, drugs, guns, SEX, ex-GF's, your love life, politics, religion, or anything boring.

    After talking to her for a few minutes (2-4) IF she seems to be having a good time and there is a connection between you two, tell her something like "Hey, you seem like a semi-sane woman. Give me your phone number and I'll call you sometime." [JUST LIKE THAT.] Get her to write it down on something.

    If there is no connection, then just move on. If she gives you any EXCUSES, move on. The goal is to find out if she wants to get to know you better, and if she does she will make it easy to be with her.

    Wait 5-7 days to call her and set up a date. Pick the WEEKday, place, and time. (Not Friday or Saturday night.) Go to Starbucks or an upscale bar and have a drink/snack. This is a CHEAP date. No dinners, movies, presents, etc.
     
  23. caribou

    caribou New Member

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    straight knowledge jewels in this thread. CaLAbria, take note.
     
  24. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :bigthumb: That's the way I like to do things. I've always been friends with guys first before I started dating them. Being asked out by someone you have only talked to for a couple minutes is just awkward.
     
  25. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    The problem is some guys don't make a move for weeks or months, and then wonder why they are friendzoned... You probably can't ask someone on a date after a few seconds of talking to them, but a few minutes? 5-10? Sure. The point is to go on a date, not be "dating", from the get go. If the date goes well, you go on more dates, hence "dating." ;)
     

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