SRS trying hard to keep my chin up

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RedZ71, Jul 17, 2008.

  1. RedZ71

    RedZ71 Large Marge sent me.

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    *sigh*

    life is up and down for me lmao. the good news is, that i start my new job on monday. i am SO looking forward to that, that is going to work wonders for me and my esteem and personal outlook of my life (june 10 i posted about getting laid off my job of 8 years). im also moving into a new apartment in a few days, so that new beginning im also really looking forward to.

    i guess im feeling a little down because dating seemed like it was going to be fish in a barrel at first... but now maybe not. im on a dating sight, and picked up a hit pretty quickly. she was a really nice and intelligent girl, but not so exiciting in the spontaneity department, but other than that, id say i like her well enough. i tested the waters again earlier this week after another girl clicked on me, but that one fizzled pretty quickly and we wont be going out again. meeting another woman that i know i wont like for some reason is casting a poor outlook on dating for me. i know the statistics arent there yet after only 2, but the bad part is the first one seems less and less interested now. i realize that happens, but it totally sucks being back to 0 again. oh well, i plod on.

    but the part the really really sucks, is the loneliness is really setting in. i realy dont particularly miss my wifes friendship, sexuality, i really can barley remember her face or what her voice sounds like... but sleeping alone with no one to lay against is really what im missing right now. i dunno, i guess for me it was something really really intimate, that right now i miss dearly.

    im so tempted to make contact with my exwife and just be nice, be friendly. i dont know anything about her right now, if shes seeing anyone, if shes not, and im trying to keep it that "it doesnt matter". but part of me really misses the familiarity, and how easy it might be to try it again.

    but i know that would be the worst choice possible, and for now im doing fine avoiding it. i just wanted to get some words out there, ive not seen any of my RL friends for a few days to get this off my chest.
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Congrats on the new job. I find that can really help relieve some depression, as long as you like your coworkers, your work environment and the type of work it can be a HUGE boost.

    But if you can, try not to look at it as the cure all for everything that's not going right in your life right now. Why? Because it's work and sometimes, work sucks.....for everyone!! All I'm saying is be excited but realize that at the end of the day, your work won't replace what you want.

    So now about dating....I would suggest that you try to just enjoy getting to know another person. Perhaps it's too soon for you to start dating and you need more time to heal. I don't know but kudos for putting yourself back out there and trying.

    Hang tough man....this too shall pass. Try to eat well, get plenty of rest and drink plenty of water. These simple things can really help ground you and recover.
     
  3. RedZ71

    RedZ71 Large Marge sent me.

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    its actually the dream job ive been searching for 9 years. ive been hardcore into linux and opensource software since 1999, and have been waiting for the fairly rare linux datacenter admin job to come open... forever. i dont see any stress coming at all from that, besides, i tend to work my best miracles under pressure.

    i know it wont replace what i want, but at least ill have something new to occupy the bulk of my thoughts, at least for a few weeks while i get settled in.

    my new apartment is pretty pimp too, im really looking forward to moving in in a few days. im actually going to start taking some clothes, kitchen stuff, (BEER!), and a few other odds and ends over tomorrow.

    lol ive already been scolded online for the mention of the desire to contact my ex. believe me, im holding out and not about to do something so absurd, but i just figured its better to talk about it than to hold it in, hide it, and try it (and of course make everything even worse later).
     

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