SRS Trust

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Clix, May 17, 2006.

  1. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    So ive been talking alot with my ex. One of the things she has told me is right now she cant be with me becuase she doesnt trust me. Here is the story, but I just want to say that I know what I did and take full responceability and that even though I was in a blind rage I dont use it as an excuse and im trying going to see councliers and stuff about this as well as anger managment.


    All started last november. Me and like 4-5 friends were playing touc football on out basketball court at my dorm. My g/f was wanting to do soemthing else and got seriously pissed I wasnt paying attention to her. So she comes and askes me to take her home, I tell her ok. We get there and she tells me shes ending it becuase of tonight. I get mad and as soon as she closes the door pell out and shit. She calls me 15 minutes later cuase she was sorry and irrational at the time, but im mad and dont answer. Next day my roommate lets her into my dorm room, and me I try to hide from her, end up getting outta bed (I was depressed and been watching tv all day) go to storm out of the room, she goes to the door and tries to keep me from leaving but Im considerably stronger and I without flinching open the door and fling it back along with her.

    She tells me she cant ever trust me becuase of this and I dont blame her. I want to regain her trust becuase I honestly love her.

    This is just a rant, I found this out today and cant get it off my mind, just wanting to tell someone who isnt involved in our situation. I know that I have alot of work to do to repair this but im willing. I just hope my ex will see this and in the future be able to see if I have changed or not and trust me with her again.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I really think its her problem and not yours. If you are having a fun time with the guys, and she doesn't have the patience to let you do your own thing. Then she is the one who has to learn that being in a relationship is all about being together, but still letting the other be able to do their own thing. You really don't have to go into any kind of theraphy, what you basically need is more 'communication' between you and your gf, that if you where to hang out in a certain area you discuss it with her if its ok with her, so she won't go beserk or can complain beforehand. That way you have less risk on a conflict because you discussed your ongoing activities with eachother.

    So the keywords are C O M M U N I C A T E. So make sure you are continuesly and constantly on the same frequency as your gf. Because basically she needs your attention. Its not as much a trust issue, i think you love her and that her lack of patience and dragging you home is what made you angry. Basically its her thinking 'its my bf i want him to pay attention to me, instead of having fun with the guys ,why isn't he having fun with me instead' kind of bs. I mean that's true in some perspective, but that only happens if you don't properly arrange the time that you have with her, and the time that you have with yourself. She looks like the type of person that can fall hard, over small things. :sad2:
     
  3. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    That is a load of bull. That is her excuse that she is using to place the blame on you. If this was a lone incident then this is not a worthy reason of her not trusting you. You didn't even get aggressive with her, you tried to leave the room when she was blocking the door. Clix, this girl is just using this crap as her excuse for ending the relationship because she wants out. This piece of info is simply a convienient way to place the blame on you rather than admitting that she really doesn't want to be with you any more. She simply has lost interest in you romantically, that's it.

    You will find out that when a girl loses interest in a guy, they will make up all kinds of excuses why they are leaving, but the truth 95% of the time is really that they no longer have interest. Anything that comes out of their mouth is merely a way of justifying their actions or placing the blame elsewhere.

    Don't feel bad about what you did because that's not the real issue here. She just no longer wants to be with you and would rather be single and see what else is out there. I am 100% confident that this is the case and I have been working with 100's of relationships over the past few years.
     
  4. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    I would think this, except her father during her childhood was violent to say the least. Didnt hit her mother but she remembers quite a few occasions of him going though the house smashing everything.

    She also has worked alot of volunteer stuff. She told me she thinks she would be stupid to come back to me after all she has seen in womans settlers and stuff. All my friends just tell me she is confused at everything, which I agree with so right now im just gonna do my thing. I need to talk to someone about my problems anyways and give her some time to just get her mind straight.
     
  5. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Oh man, don't give me that. The last thing I want to hear from you is excuses for her behavior and about how she is "confused". She is NOT confused at all, she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. Give the broad some credit for god's sakes. All these excuses that she can't help herself because she has seen this or that is complete and utter BULLSHIT. If you are a good guy, then she knows that you are a good guy. All this shit she is spewing is a freaking excuse, that THAT'S IT.
     
  6. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    Its bullshit becuase she doesnt know what she wants. If I go see her right now. She will be all over me, then the next day tell me she was just weak becuase right now she doesnt know what she wants. Iknow she is making excuses not to be with me right now. Iknow from her friends shes scared that she sees a future with me. Even if that is just an excuse, its something I worry about.

    4 years ago she got into a car wreak and completely shattered her hip. SO you know downt he road if we are playing or something and I push or something alittle to hard and she falls and breaks her hip im gonna feel real bad.

    My whole family has anger issues. Id rather deal with them now while we are apart then down the road after ive torn apart where I live and lose for her good becuase of it.
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    No, she knows what she wants, she's already got what she wants. She has you hanging by a string. When she wants to play with you she will, but when she doesn't want you around and wants to mess around with and/or date other people, well... she's SINGLE. She's exactly where she wants to be because she has the best of both worlds. You when she's bored and freedom from being in a relationship with you.

    You should cut off all contact and I bet she comes running after you before too long, but even if she doesn't, good for you to be away from this manipulation.
     
  8. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    Maybe so, im heading to my moms for a few weeks so guess we shall see when I get back.
     
  9. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Why don't you stop giving her free attention? She's no longer your girlfriend but you keep chasing after he like she is. This gives her ALL of the power in the relationship-which is a reason you feel helpless here. You have no control over whats going on.
     

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