Trust?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ronk, Sep 7, 2005.

  1. ronk

    ronk New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    30,821
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Shelby Township, MI
    Does anyone else have major trust issues in relationships?

    I for one do. My current gf, I know wouldnt cheat on me. But at the same time have had ex's cheat. I know I need to learn to trust her, but am having a hard time doing it.

    We've known each other for over 3 years, dated all of 2002, broke up, maintained communication on and off through the 2 years we were apart. We got back together in February, so I know her well enough to know she isnt that type of person. But I just cant bring myself to trusting her 100%.

    Anyone else have this problem, and how did you eventually get over it?
     
  2. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2005
    Messages:
    4,078
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio
    realize that you have no control over what they do, and you can either worry yourself to death and possibly drive them away with jealousy, and just get over it
     
  3. ronk

    ronk New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    30,821
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Shelby Township, MI
    We got into an argument about it on saturday, and she said pretty much the same thing, "I will NEVER cheat on you, I know you have trust issues. Just realize that you know enough people that if I WERE to cheat, you'd find out, thats not what worries you though. If I to ever, it would make ME look at lot worse then YOU."
     
  4. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2005
    Messages:
    4,078
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio
    shes pretty much right on, not all girls are cheaters and bad, just like all guys arent.
    you just have to realize that no matter what, you have no control over it, and let it go
     
  5. ronk

    ronk New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    30,821
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Shelby Township, MI
    True...

    It's something Im going to have to learn....:sad2:
     
  6. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2005
    Messages:
    4,078
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio
    yea i know where your coming from, it took me a while after it happened to me :hs:
     
  7. ronk

    ronk New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    30,821
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Shelby Township, MI
    :cool:

    Thanks mang...
     
  8. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ,,,_(õ_Ô)_,,,
    Hardtrustingwomenz crew signing in.

    I have the same issues, not that I had any exes cheat on me, though there were circumstances that would indicate they did, but no proof.

    Anyway, I just don't trust people, overall, and it seems that the closer they are to me, the more I get hurt by them.

    With my current GF though I trust her 99.9%, I know she's not the type to cheat, she's actually neverhad a real serious relationship before (good, bad? :noes: ), and she has no reason to cheat, but there's still that .1% thatcan't let go, though I think it's good not to trust anyone 100%.
     
  9. ronk

    ronk New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    30,821
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Shelby Township, MI
    I want to trust her 100%. I want to marry her shes told me she couldnt see spending the rest of her life with anyone but me. For that fact alone I need to trust her....

    Up to this point in life the only people I have 100% trust in is myself, and my parents. i dont even trust my own brother 100%.....:sad2:
     
  10. rkf76

    rkf76 New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2004
    Messages:
    559
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had that problem for a long time. Then I got with a girl who changed all that, simply by being honest, loving, and showing me that she said what she meant and meant what she said. I have never trusted somebody so much in my life, and probably never will. Wanna know the kicker though? We broke up up one day when she found out here kids' father had taken the kids and moved to Fresno with them while she was at work one day, that night she was gone! I was heart broken, but I understood. She came back about 6-8 months later but I didn't want anything to do with her cause she didn't keep in contact like she said she would. Then she gets a job working where I work, but that didn't change anything for at least a year, we didn't even talk. Then one day we got together after work to talk about things and get everything out in the open and we started "kickin' it" again, and ended up getting back together about 3-4 months after that......This time it was waaaaay different. I didn't trust her and she never was able to get back to the level of respect I once had for her. I took it for as long as I could, hoping one day she'd see the light and wake up. Never happened. I left her after 2 1/2 yrs of drama and bullshit.

    Cliff Notes: Don't stay in a relationship if trust is an issue.
     
  11. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,608
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Melbourne
    I have trust issues in other areas but not cheating. If they cheat that's done and I'll move on, if it's going to happen it's going to happen so theres no point worrying or trying to put a stop to them seeing people. I do my thing and they can do theres. How to get over the problem though, I think you should just chill out and let things happen. You won't stop anything happening if it is going too, and by worrying you're probably making it more likely because it will affect the relationship because you don't trust her. Without trust there can be no relationship.
     

Share This Page