Trust: Words vs. Actions

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by TheRemains, Nov 26, 2008.

  1. TheRemains

    TheRemains If I sound disrespectful, it's only because you're

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    So I'm currently with a girl right now... have been together for a little more than 3 months. So far so good, however recently we've been having "trust" issues, particularly me trusting her. She seems to believe that I should trust her implicitly while I believe that trust is earned... and that she's done a few things that have NOT earned my trust...

    My reasons:
    1. She's told me that she's been sexually active for 2 years. She also told me in another conversation that she's had sex with 8 guys.... also, she was in a relationship for 1.5 of those 2 years.... :rolleyes: , she cannot reconcile this and gets angry / non-communicative when I press the issue.

    2. We went out to a bar one night and she started flirting heavily with another guy, it escalated into a shouting match, but not quite fisticuffs, between me and the other guy when he took the $10 I gave her to buy drinks for us, on him and her. We chalked that little episode up to her being too drunk and her older cousin gave her a nice little talking to about it.

    3. She told me last week that she would not be celebrating her birthday with me, but instead will be going to Montreal to visit her friends + ex-boyfriend, and will be staying in a guy's apartment (not the ex boyfriend).

    4. Has said things like "The more jealous you get the more likely it is that I'm going to cheat on you."

    But of course she says things like "I'm a very committed person", "I have never cheated on anyone.", "I love you", "You're the best sex I've ever had, why would I want anyone else?" etc etc etc
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    words = meaningless
     
  3. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    i hope she's really, really hot
     
  4. TheRemains

    TheRemains If I sound disrespectful, it's only because you're

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    she is :naughty:

    and it's really the only reason i hesitate to dump her
     
  5. ptwiggens

    ptwiggens New Member

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    I would have gotten rid of this girl 5 times by now.

    Sounds like she is doing it on purpose... and you are reacting just the way she wants you to.
     
  6. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Wow, I hope she's worth it.

    Honestly, I'd dump this girl and find another. I strongly dislike when someone says something like "If you keep acting this way, I may be lead to do this or that."

    Find someone who's honest about things - even the shit you don't really want to know. Look for someone who isn't a total drunken idiot and gives $10 to a dude and he turns around buys drinks for your girlfriend and him. Even in a half drunken state, a strong girl won't put up with that shit.

    What matters here are her ACTIONS. Her actions ARE HORRIBLE. Words are to be taken lightly.
     
  7. TheRemains

    TheRemains If I sound disrespectful, it's only because you're

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    This is really what I question. Yes, she's hot and I've never had a girl this fun / hot / sexy before. Yes she likes to party like I do and doesn't give me shit for my weed habits. But having a fun party girl has it's drawbacks as well, as illustrated in the first post.
     
  8. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    What's to reconcile ?
     
  9. TheRemains

    TheRemains If I sound disrespectful, it's only because you're

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    Sex with 7 guys in 6 months? Or cheating on your boyfriend X amount of times in 1.5 years?
     
  10. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    see other girls but still keep this one that way when shit goes down with her, at least you didn't waste all your time on her and wallow in your sorrows
     
  11. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    yeah your gf is a whore :)
     
  12. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Some people's math never adds up. :mamoru:
     
  13. Televandalist

    Televandalist New Member

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    I'm not saying I would stay with this girl, but when you enter any relationship you need to forgive the past and look forward... don't worry about what she's done, worry about what she's doing.
     
  14. TheRemains

    TheRemains If I sound disrespectful, it's only because you're

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    That doesn't really bother me. What precipitated me making this thread was that we had a fight about this last night. We were talking about Britney Spears of all things and she said something along the lines of; "Oh I think Britney is hot now... but she kind of a whore. I mean, she's slept with 8 guys (now obviously referencing herself) if I was a guy, I would never sleep with a woman that has had sex with 8 guys, that just being a whore." To which I responded with, "Well haven't you slept with 8 guys, does that make you a whore?" and she said "Yea, but I'm not you, and you don't seem to have a problem with that" and it kinda just went on from there, getting more weird and frustrating. She ran out of my apartment this morning like she was escaping a dungeon.

    I'm having Thanksgiving with her family tomorrow, after that I think we have have a talk / breakup this weekend.
     
  15. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Talk is cheap.

    She used your money to buy a drink for another guy and she's bailing on your birthday. Come on man, seriously?
     
  16. TheRemains

    TheRemains If I sound disrespectful, it's only because you're

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    Her birthday, not mine.
     
  17. Eddie Brock

    Eddie Brock New Member

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    ALL signs are pointing to she is prob going to cheat on you... I would say move on to the next.
     
  18. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    My bad. The point stands.
     
  19. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    "The more jealous you get the more likely it is that I'm going to cheat on you."

    Right then and there you should have been GONE. Its called self-respect... get some.
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You think that 7 guys in 6 months after a 1.5 year relationship is "excessive"? :rofl:

    That's like 1 guy a month, and if she was the type to go to the bar every weekend, then that means that 3 weeks out of 4 she went home alone. You said she was hot, so do you realize how many guys she would have to turn away to go home alone 3 weeks out 4? :rofl: Your insecurities are clouding the issue.

    ***

    That being said, though, with a statement like "the more jealous you get, the more likely I am to cheat on you," is grounds for a "fuck off and go die in a fire."

    But like you said, you are letting her disrespect you because she's hot. If you're fine with having your balls cut off for that reason, then by all means continue, even though this whole thing is riddled with fail. I mean, shit, you're already fighting and arguing and it's only been 3 months. :rofl:
     
  21. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    I'm having the same problem as you OP. Never had a girl this hot before and the attention it gets is wonderful. Being with her, fucking her, etc., is wonderful. But she's a party girl. And says and does a lot of the same things. The problem is that we have been friends for five years. If we didn't have that background, she'd be kicked to the curb by now. Instead, I'm stuck giving her chance after chance wondering what its going to take to get me to man up and get rid of one of my best friends. The only problem now, though, is that she's started to get to be friends with all of my other friends (something I've intentionally not let happen in the past), and its going to fucking kill me when I kiss her off only to see her still hanging out with my other friends.
     
  22. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    You know you can find a girl who is hot but also faithful. Don't just sit there and think that this is the only hot girl you'll ever get, so you have to put up with her shit. If you don't trust your partner, your relationship will be filled with drama. Find someone better.
     
  23. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i dont see the point in staying with her. if you want to stay just because she is really hot, then deal with how she treats you. i cant imagine you cant find another really hot girl to date that will treat you better
     
  24. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Got into the cab and the cab driver said he recognize my girlie form the back of her head.

    She's crafty
     
  25. evh

    evh Active Member

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    If she's that hot bro ride it out, just for that and know that. Sounds like you have a shitty relationship
     

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