trust problem

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by low20, Feb 1, 2005.

  1. low20

    low20 Member

    Aug 10, 2003
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    i was in a past relationship where trust was totally lost between the two of us based on events that happened TO me caused BY the other person, causing me to lose all trust in her....unfortunatley that trust issue has carried itself over into my new relationship...

    ive been seeing this girl for 4 months now...its a long distance relationship mind you, that is soon to be non-long distance....since weve been going out she has pretty much not gone to any parties or anything like that at all..doesnt hang out with guys, just her gf's at her apartment. the thing is, whenever theyre drinking or if they do happen to go to a party, even if its at a persons house that i know personally, i still get really wierded out about it...ive seen first han what alcohol can do to relationships...ive seen so many people fuck things up and then not even remember it, or just run around and do stupid pisses me off so much to think that its even possible that this could happen to me...shes not like that at all..she totally loves me..hell shes moving to be closer to me, but i cant get the thoughts out of my head..its totally rediculous, and it pisses me off just as much as it pisses her off...i dont know how to chill tho...i know that when im going to bed, shes just going out (time difference=3 hours) so i FEEL as if im no longer on her mind, cuz she oesnt have to worry about calling me etc. then i cant sleep cuz all i do is think shes getting drunk or something (which she never really does) and i thin somethings gonna is so stupid and i NEED to get over it somehow...i dont know why...i trust her with my life, but i ant seem to get these wierd thoughts outta my head, whenever she drinks...any advice?
  2. Romanfire

    Romanfire Guest

    Take a deep breath, stop for a second and realize:
    #1 if shes going to do something (since it is long distance) she will do it with or without your consent
    #2 showing her you dont trust her will only push her away and/or make her hide shit from you which will lead to more and more problems
    #3 if you really care about her then you should trust her
    #4 if she breaks your trust fuck her then shes not worth your time anyways
  3. IgnitionGSR

    IgnitionGSR OT Abuser

    Jan 4, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Beaverton, Oregon

    Just cool it, give her the benefit of the doubt... Give her the trust she deserves and go to sleep, like RomanFire said, if shes gonna do something she would really ask you for permission....
  4. LS Boy

    LS Boy Active Member OT Supporter

    May 5, 2000
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    i used to be like you......but now, i let her do whatever she wants---we broke up twice within a month but we're back together in a day....

    i told her i trust her from the beginning but later in the relationship (weve been together for 3month, seeing for 4) i kinda didnt trust her.....BUT i thought about it for a second that if she does cheat on me---thats her choice and nothing i can do----ONLY Karma will get her back :)

    i barely see her----may be once a week----or twice if im lucky......and things happen for a reason. so dont worry about it.

    worrying is like rocking chair, it will give you something to do but you wont go anywhere.
  5. cuz

    cuz Guest

    no i totally agree. i used to have really big trust issues, but im so much better now, and i know if i am with someone who cheats on me, i shouldnt get too upset about it b/c they obviously never really cared about me in the frist place. i completely agree with Romanfire

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