SRS Trust issues with my GF. Give me some advice please.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Rocks, Aug 19, 2005.

  1. Rocks

    Rocks New Member

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    My GF just recentley cheated on me about 3 months ago and she admitted she kissed a guy (I dont believe it I believe she f*cked around). Anyways me and her have a beautiful daughter and I decided I should work it out with her for the sake of our daughter and honestley I love both of them very much but this trust thing is torturing me. At this point were both 21 and Im currentley living with my parents and saving my pennies for out place (fridge, stove, furniture and savings). FYI I was acting like a total d*ck with her and would ignore her constantly and we were not intimate for a whole month because I would ignore her so much. Thats what supposably pushed her into cheating on me.

    Well I have horrible dreams where she is cheating on me and anything she does is suspicious. Im 99.9% sure she isint cheating on me at this point but sometimes I just cant help it. I love her and leaving her is not a option so I wouldnt do that. What should I do guys and gals. How should I go about this situation. I went from 205 pounds down to 161 thats how stressed I am. I cant concentrate at work I cant do anything.

    Thank you.
     
  2. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Would you clarify where she is living with the child please. Why were you acting like a dickhead and being cold toward her? It appears you do not have any solid evidence that she is, in fact, cheating on you. I think it's admirable that you are saving your pennies toward a future with this woman and your child. Kissing someone is NOT cheating...unless of course there was tonsil hockey involved. Maybe you two should just sit down like adults and go at it, talk about everything, have a real whiz banger of a heart-to-heart. While I am cognizant that to know is nothing and to imagine is all, in your case I think perhaps you are letting your imagination run away with you. Losing weight, well, everyone wants to lose a few pounds, but not the way you are going about it. On the other hand, trying to make a relationship work, just for the sake of a child, is not a good thing either. Kids nowadays they grow up fast, they can put two and two together quickly. They know the score. Think of how unhappy your child would be if she found out that Mommy and Daddy don't really love one another. Children live what they learn. I think it's time for you and the Mother to sit down and figure things out, discuss your trust issues, make a plan, have a contingency plan and, if necessary, involve some third party arbitration, such as a counselor. It's better to cut your losses while you are still young, rather than drag them out and be in torment when you are older. Above all else, remember that you are responsible for a child and make that your first priority. Good, solid relationships take a lot of work, a mountain of trust and a universe of love.
     
  3. infinite loop

    infinite loop Statistically speaking, the Yankees do indeed suck

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    ibmovetoasylum :hs:

    Why were you distant/cold with her? Who was the guy she kissed? What were the circumstances (alchohol, etc)?
     
  4. Rocks

    Rocks New Member

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    Trust me I love my woman and we are planning to get married when we get out place . My daughter lives with her mom at her parents house. Maybe my imagination is running away with me and maybe I should get over it . I just want to be happy and have a family but this trust thing is destroying me inside and I hate it. But your comments are great and thank you for them. Im not doing this merley for the child im doing it for me , her and my child. I want to be with my daughter all the time and I want to be with my GF all the time.
     
  5. Rocks

    Rocks New Member

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    She came home drunk once and called me over thats the only time I know she was drunk. I was being cold and distant with her because I was honestley being immature and I always thought I would have her no matter what. I regret it so so much and wish it never happened.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    This belongs in the Asylum.
     
  7. kaxfenix

    kaxfenix Guest

    First and foremost, just because you were distant, ignoring her what ever, NEVER gives her the right to cheat on you. So do not beat yourself up for her actions. Regardless of whatever issues, she MADE THE CHOICE. She could have easily came to you and said, "look we need to have a serious conversation about our relationship," and took it from there instead of fucking around with another guy.

    What's done is done. It can be very hard to get over the fact that you were cheated on and it will be something that can and will take a LONG time to get over. There has to be mutial understanding, if she is really in for the long haul she will work to make this better with understanding and compassion. Trust was broke, and it will take a long time to get back to where it once was. Now is the time to sit down and have a conversation about where this is going to go. You need to tell her how you feel, and what you want done to make yourself feel comfortable again, then you need to start working on it yourself. Be wary though, if she is not putting in the effort to make this better, then remind her again, and after that still not working out, I would start making plans to move your own way.

    You two can also and probably should see a relationship counselor
     
  8. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    No one should stay together 'for the sake of the child'. Your child will grow up thinking that being with someone for the wrong reasons is okay and also they will grow up in a househol dthat isn't full of love and support. Sure you will both love and support them but the feeling of home won't be there
     
  9. PapiShasho

    PapiShasho Guest

    if she cheated, you should leave her, plain and simple. regardless of the child involved.

    and what is it with all this saving up for "our" place. is she saving up too, or are you the almighty provider?
     

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