SRS Trust issues w/girls? v.Jaded

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Fox800, Dec 11, 2005.

  1. Fox800

    Fox800 Fear Boner OT Supporter

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    For the past few months, it seems that I've been in a funk when it comes to women. I've been meeting a few girls here & there that seem cool/interesting/hot/etc., but things never seem to work out. In the past I've had no problems meeting girls/getting dates/messing around. Lately I haven't been able to get anything together. I'll meet a girl at a party, get her phone number, then nothing materializes. Either she doesn't answer the phone, never returns calls, or just doesn't show up to a date. Frankly, I'm getting a little frustrated. I'm not a bad looking guy (though I'm no Brad Pitt), and I've been told that I have a personality that girls are attracted to (dark humor/sarcastic/slightly cocky).

    Lately, I feel my attitudes toward women changing. Whenever I'm at a party, club, or bar...I seem to have this negative attitude towards girls. I see them dressed in revealing clothing...and something just goes off in my head. I know that I could approach them, but I don't, because I don't want to boost their egos. I don't want to give them the pleasure of turning me down and going to tell their friends about it. I see them as bitchy and as teases. And it's gotten to the point where I approach almost no girls at parties because I think they are going to reject me and get an ego boost. Now I don't think this of ALL girls that I see at parties, but certainly the majority of girls (2/3 or so maybe). Or, if I am interested in them (and think they might actually be non-bitchy and actually cool), that nothing's going to come of it because they won't return my phone calls.

    Example: last night I really needed to get out of the house. For the life of me, I couldn't find a girl that was willing to take a study break for a while and go get coffee or dinner or something. I literally went through my phone, and even called girls I hadn't seen in 4-5 months or more. Nothing.

    WTF do I do? :sadwavey:
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You need to allow the love for a girl into your heart , in one word you condemn them all as cheap sluts, generalizing so to speak. THis has got to stop.

    A relationship is a 'continues' investment, you put continues work in it to make it work out. The revealing clothes are just to attract men, and yes it would suck if they dump you and tell their friends how neat that was, but then again if you don't try you'll be lonely.

    Really you don't have to live up to all those expectations just love yourself for who you are and let them love you for who you are too, or let them go because if they don't then they are a waste of time/effort.

    the problem is that you don't 'allow' yourself or them a chance. In your mind you have been judge,jury and executor of a potential partner even before she gets a chance to prove herself before you, that's weak sauce, i want you to go out and realise that every person deserves at least 'one decent' chance.
     
  3. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Try approaching some girls in new locations: bookstores, doing voulenteer work, etc. The chances are better that you will meet a decent girl.

    Also, what is wrong with going out for coffee alone? Or even sitting down beside a girl in the coffee shop and having a conversation?
     
  4. Fox800

    Fox800 Fear Boner OT Supporter

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    Thanks for the advice. I just feel extremely jaded lately. A good percentage of my guy friends have been cheated on recently, and even my own ex-g/f has been trying to cheat on her new b/f with me. I guess with all this shitstorm of sluttiness and infidelity, my outlook on women has significantly dimmed. I know that there are plenty of good women out there, however I just almost feel a lack of desire to go meet new girls when I'm out in social settings. :wtc:

    As far as volunteer work, I do a ton. I work for my university's EMS service as an EMT-Basic, and I'm a volunteer firefighter for our county VFD. Unfortunately those organizations don't really expose me to decent women. :doh:Although I'm looking forward to joining my university's pre-medical society in January, there should be quite a few good-looking women who want to be doctors :naughty:
     
  5. Fox800

    Fox800 Fear Boner OT Supporter

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    I just wanted to get out of the house, and wanted company (desperately). The thought of approaching a random girl in public scares the shit out of me. I'm always afraid that she's going to think I'm wierd. I can do it at parties, just not in a grocery store/bookstore/coffee shop/wherever...it's almost like if it's not a setting geared towards partying/hooking up/drinking/being wild, I can't do it...
     
  6. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Until you can kill that desperation you will not find yourself meeting any decent girls.

    And honestly, if you just approach a girl and have a normal calibrated conversation she will not think you are weird. It takes practice to be able to have all your non-verbal communication correct, and to be able to have a cool conversation that builds attraction. Honestly, if you say something stupid, she is not even going to remember you in an hour. If you sweep her away she will remember you forever.
     
  7. Budha

    Budha Guest

    Man i'm kind of the same way. I'm so sick of girls faking on me etc. I've turned into quite an asshole over time, especially w/ girls from my age group. Around 20.
     
  8. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Sounds like you are viewing women just as you would view a man, as nothing special. That's the key. Women aren't perfect creatures, they are lying, deceiving, selfish little brats just like the rest of us.

    Now that women are on an even foot with you, go out there and hit on some.
     
  9. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    You are meeting girls in the wrong places. Take a pilates or yoga class. The girls will have the guys outnumbered 10/1. Lay off the dark, negative conversation, it will get you nowhere.
     
  10. Fox800

    Fox800 Fear Boner OT Supporter

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    I have to admit, I saw a girl at the rec center doing some stretches that must have been from a yoga class, and I could do was go :eek3: and she was wearing a College of Medicine shirt, no less...:bigthumb: that's why I love grad students, too bad I'm only 19 (but I'll be a senior in January).
     
  11. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    Fox800 and Budha I'm the same exact way, I've gotten in the habit of just writing them off with little more than a glance. I'll look at them "size them up" and immeadiately decide "meh shes not worth my time, she'll just play idiotic ass games or cheat on me just like all the others out there". It's been this way for a few months now. Just so tired of the damned games, and you guys are in the same age group(im 19) as me to which is kinda funny but cool bc u guys know wat im talking about.
     
  12. Fox800

    Fox800 Fear Boner OT Supporter

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    Seems like it's the age group (women ages 18-22 or so) that cause problems. I find that I get along MUCH better with women that are a few years older than me (22-25), although they tend to be in a different stage of life (grad. school or already in a career) so that doesn't tend to work in my favor (I'm still in undergrad).
     
  13. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    I wholeheartedly agree on the age thing, they've made the transition and dont see everything from a high schoolers perspective anymore. I have better luck with the older ones as well, the only bad thing is having to fight the uphill battle of showing ur not just the undergrad kid who wants to bang the hot older girl.
     
  14. Fox800

    Fox800 Fear Boner OT Supporter

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    I guess my major point is that I keep running into the party girl/bitchy/high-maintenance Barbie type who likes to play games, spend Daddy's money and act like she's still in high school. Unfortunately, most of these girls are older than me (20-21). I flat out won't approach someone like that because I know there are girls that get a kick out of rejecting guys. They enhance their self-esteem by shutting us down, watching us crash and burn..."just another guy who was 'all over me' because I'm hot"...makes me sick...I'm not a superhero/celebrity/rockstar, but I'm not a loser who sits at home all day every day. I'm not Brad Pitt but I'm not a Frankenstein (closer to Brad ;) )...I wonder how long I'll go before I run across a girl not looking for a "rush" from dating some bad boy type or looking for "that perfect guy"...

    Everyone around me is telling me not to worry about stuff, just have fun and get laid a lot....
     

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