so this isnt specifically F/S related but i did have Tigre approve the thread. I dont share my relationship status with anyone, but the anonymity of the internet lends itself useful for this. in addition, the nature of our lovely forum lends itself to useful information and insight on trust as the specific nature of our fun is founded on trust between partners. Over the past few years of OT i have come to respect a great number of you (tigre, PE, Bubba, Atlantis, Cherry, Rouge, others, etc ... ). for these reasons i asked Tigre if could post and he graciously agreed. My previous relationship (engagement .... was supposed to get married 5/17/08 ... ) ended and i feel part of the problem was lack of trust between us. a little background for her: The vast majority of men in her family have been unfaithful on at least one occasion. Her father had a longterm affair which ended her parents marriage on the christmas of her 16th birthday (her DOB is 12/19/08). That christmas, her father bought her a car for her 16th birthday / christmas present and upon finding this out on Christmas day, her mother ended the marriage and started the divorce process blaming everything on my ex / the car .... which my ex drives to this day. In addition to her fathers affair, her grandfather and both uncles have had affairs and generally mistreated their wives. Obviously, this lends itself to deeply seeded trust issues as she is blamed for her fathers affair and the ultimate end to her parents marriage. background on me: I was a late bloomer. my sophomore year of h/s i was 5' tall and 95 lbs ... obviously i was targeted. the cliche "all bark no bite" was not my motto. i learned very early to "bark fast" and "bite hard". at the first sign of trouble, i let people know i was not the one to fuck with. As i grew older, this transformed into passive aggressive behavior. i am a very tolerant person, but i can only take so much. i am a very sensitive person. i have my own feelings and i want them respected. i give others the same courtesy. i respect her issues and i try to be sensitive but i can take only so much. ............ it was pretty obvious from the start of the relationship that there were trust issues on her end due to sever and continuous infidelity from all of the men in her family (father, grand father, great grandfather, unlces, etc) as i stated earlier. i was under constant scrutiny for infidelity. if i was 5 minutes late for anything she assumed i was out cheating. if a number called my phone that didnt show up in my phone book it was obviously an ex or a sideline g/f. my usual attire is greasy carhartts and a greasy t-shirt. if for some reason or another i decided to dress nicer (which for me is non-greasy carhartts and a non greasy button down carhartt shirt) then i must have been out cheating on her and dressing up for someone else. i work on cars / trucks and i do all my own mechanic work in addition to welding and working at sears. work runs over. unforeseen problems on a vehicle runs over. even with notice of a phone call saying i would be running later than usual would end in a fight from me being called a cheater and her saying i was out cheating. as i stated earlier i am a very patient and understanding person. i understand peoples insecurities and i respect them and i try my best to be sensitive to that. but i can be sensitive for only so long. i cannot stand by and be told i am a cheater and a lier. i have integrity and i am proud, but i cannot be told i am what i consider to be the worst type of person. i wont be called that for years on end when i have never deserved any of it .... ................................................ im posting this partly because all of this has been heavy on my chest for a while and i needed to get it out ... i also wanted it post it to open it up for discussion. i would really like to discuss this and i know its kind of thrown together ... its 1 am and im tired and at this point emotional .... im not asking to be coddled, and i know i play a part in the problems of our relationship, but any insight or advice or observations would be appreciated ... thanks OTFS.