trust advice needed

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by sultry33, Mar 31, 2006.

  1. sultry33

    sultry33 New Member

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    hi have a problem that thought id share and any advice be great too..

    went on comp today and bf said that night previously that loads porn pop ups had surfaced on screen ......... today i check comp and no cookies or history but in goggle search i find just one word which is on top of other searches he had done.... them all clean but word ontop is c*nt :eek3:

    i told him that prob reason for pop ups but now aM THINKING DID HE TYPE IT IN??

    i know i didnt, do these wordsb just magically appear?

    any advice?

    had problem before but he explained that a pic he clicked on brought up porn so not know wat to believe!!
     
  2. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    is there a problem with your b/f looking at porn?
     
  3. sultry33

    sultry33 New Member

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    not really just the lying about it !! we met on adult site so worry bit when think he looking elsewhere but i look at porn just he wont admit it... also if he is lying then wat else has he lyed about.. do you think he typed it?

    i cant think how it got there otherwise.
     
  4. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    he might be lying about it because he's not sure how you feel about porn, does he know you're ok with him looking at it? are you ok with him looking at it? i'd suggest asking him about it and explain how you feel about porn, since you met on an adult site i'm going to assume you don't care that he's watching it. I doubt he's searching for someone new using the word cunt as a search word though lol.
     
  5. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    spend time looking at porn with him so he doesnt feel he has to lie about it.

    Who cares if he typed it? Move on, as it is no big deal.

    Just wondering how long you have been together?? How old are you? It seems you approached the situation negatively from the beginning, how was he supposed to react? It also seems as if you are trying to find fault...
     
  6. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    So but it sounds like this chick must have some serious insecurity problems. If it was the guy posting in this case, saying his chick was freaking out over this, i would have told him to cut ties and run.
     
  7. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I absolutely agree. I had a huge response typed up and my damned computer crashed so here's the cliffs.
    I had this problem with my husband. *I* was very insecure with myself and he was very dishonest about the whole situation. Instead of being open and honest he made every attempt to hide it, which in turn made me incredibly suspicious. It's a bad cycle to get into.
    Stop your hysterical reaction to it and sit down and talk with him about it. Tell him exactly how you feel about it. Tell him your concerns and then MOVE ON! He doesn't need to tell you every time he looks at porn and masturbates but he shouldn't neccesarily be hiding it.
    Choose your battles.

    Porn can cause some serious insecurities in women. Most men don't do anything to help a woman get over her insecurities, they'd rather sneak around and look at pictures of women with huge breasts and skinny waists making us feel inadequate (just answering from experience).
     
  8. sultry33

    sultry33 New Member

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    yea i am insecure and i admit that its just he doesnt like me looking at it so why does he lie??

    i recently found on search bar adult water sports and transexuals!!

    which he blamed his parents for! as they used comp prev... but then all was deleted..

    i dont mind anyone looking at porn just hate lies...:wtc:

    thats my issue really he hates lies too and im no fool i know words just dont magically appear......

    surely you agree that lies are bad?
     
  9. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    If you read my post, that's exactly what I said. BUT I also said to choose your battles.
    I've found the weirdest things ever on my computer- things I won't mention here :o and confronted hubby about it. Talking to him made me understand that sometimes it's just a curiosity thing. Just because it's something incredibly off the wall doesn't mean they are sitting there jacking off to it. Haven't you ever gotten curious and looked up weird stuff online? AND even if he IS looking up that stuff and masturbating to it, who is he sleeping with at night?
    I'm curious as to how old the two of you are and how long you've been together?
     
  10. sultry33

    sultry33 New Member

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    well im 34 and he is 32... been together 18 months, live together etc..

    i explain reason why im insecure

    firstly after being with him for 6 months i recieved call from his ex saying they was together and living together etc... he denied it

    i believed him but unfortunantly this had put doubt in my mind!

    he is my soul mate and the thought of losing him is unbearable i miss him even when he goes to work etc... i know soppy:p

    he said he hates cheats and lies and so do i..

    unfortunantly my crazy side just looks for reasons to doubt him

    i wish he would just be open if he did write it / or look...

    i look at porn all the time and am 100 cent open so why he lie
     
  11. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    Someone had to type it in... if there is only two users on the PC, and you didnt do it then.....
     
  12. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    He is lookin at porn, we know this bc you didnt type it. People in your other thread also told you it only got there via someone typing it it...and it wasnt you.

    He's lying about it, presumably bc its a personal decision that you have no bearing on. At 32 yrs old, let him have his porn in secret.

    He is with you, lives with you loves you. If he wants to lie about what kinda shit hes into that doesnt affect you...so frickin be it. Be glad hes just looking.
     
  13. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    IMO you have 2 difficulties:

    you don't like some of the things he looks at. You say you don't mind him looking at porn, but you brought up the water sports and transexuals. Further, why would he feel compelled to lie or even bring it up if you didn't care?

    If you don't like it, be honest with yourself and admit it. Either way, he seems to think that you do mind.

    As far as the lying is concerned, maybe he has a problem and is embarrased about it. I would consider if he is dishonest in other respects though, but maybe he has a problem and is ashamed so he tries to hide it.

    just my 2c.
     
  14. sultry33

    sultry33 New Member

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    thanks for advice guys......... only bit i minded was transexual to be honest! that kinda freaked me out....:eek3:

    spoke to him and said i didnt mind... he still denies it...... so guess just have to get over it eh:eek3:
     
  15. marauder

    marauder New Member

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    We all look up some weird things at time times, maybe he wants to do that on his own or is just kind of embarrassed and really doesn’t want to say even though your not going to bite his head off.
    I don't think you need to worry your other wise happy with him aren't you.
     
  16. sultry33

    sultry33 New Member

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    yea complety really......... i just worry too much sometimes i think:)

    thanks for advice everyone:)
     

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